There was never a time I did not know I was adopted. In fact, there was never a time I did not feel different, not-quite-right, and not altogether like those around me. I have always felt like I was the outcast, the mixed mutt..the runt... the one who got chosen to live among strangers not because I was wanted, but because someone had to choose me, otherwise I'd be put down or left to die, whichever created less stir for the public.
I was born in 1968 in Newfoundland, Canada, a hot-spot for infertile Americans in want of a healthy white newborn who was "orphaned" by its unmarried and "unfit" mother. I was not born an American; I was manufactured to become one.
As an adult, I learned the facts surrounding my adoption story were nowhere near the "facts" my adoptive mother told me about my adoption history.
As a believer in God, and follower of Jesus, I have always found the rationale for adoption given by practicing Christians both amusing and hypocritical. I could never understand how God would "want" man to separate mother and child, simply because a society ruled by misogynists say an unwed pregnancy is unlawful. After all, when Mary found herself pregnant without a husband, at no point was she "counseled" by adoption facilitators and told it was in the best interest for the unborn child to be relinquished, and given to council-approved strangers, while she was to act as if the pregnancy never took place. Instead, Mary, the only mother of Jesus, was told to have faith; she was told support would be provided, through the assistance of a benefactor. That benefactor would be a man named Joseph, a man who would provide for Mary and her child, for 13 years. It should be noted, at no point during Jesus's time on earth did he ever claim Joseph was his father. Instead, Jesus (and Mary) recognized God as his only father.
My oldest is leaving for her second year of college this Sunday.
I have been bracing for this week, since May.
Thankfully, last year's experience was a very positive one. My daughter made frequent home-visits, and made Dean's List each semester. She made the loss and absence easier, because she not only came back, she came back as a better individual.
But the departure... the going-away... it has never been easy for me.
The other day an AP pointed out a comment made on an adoption forum. The comment written by Kevin Kruetner, active adoption forum participant and AP, urged other APs to sign a rather sloppy petition to the President asking for post-adoption support for adoptees with Reactive Attachment Disorder. His rationale to support the proposal revolved around his own experience seeing other APs with adopted children "suffering with this disorder". As if that limited exposure to troubled ad
Today I received a phone call from my oldest who is away at college. She was very upset and in need of some extra support and empathy. The trigger? She received an e-card from my Amother... a Valentine wish, telling her how loved she is by her only known (and living) grandparents. How could this be an issue?
Recently, the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), a government-funded group of independent experts, addressed a comprehensive review of the available data on ways to detect maltreatment of children.
In March, 2011, standing alone in a Galveston court room, a young father received his punishment for performing a sexual act on his 3 month old son before crushing his crying infant's skull. Travis Mullis, 24 year old adult abused adoptee, was ordered to death.
At the time of court ruling, his still-living "forever" adoptive mom was living in sunny warm Florida. She wanted nothing to do with him and the case.