Kerry's blog

Adoption: When God Comes Knocking and Calling

As a believer in God, and follower of Jesus, I have always found the rationale for adoption given by practicing Christians both amusing and hypocritical. I could never understand how God would "want" man to separate mother and child, simply because a society ruled by misogynists say an unwed pregnancy is unlawful. After all, when Mary found herself pregnant without a husband, at no point was she "counseled" by adoption facilitators and told it was in the best interest for the unborn child to be relinquished, and given to council-approved strangers, while she was to act as if the pregnancy never took place. Instead, Mary, the only mother of Jesus, was told to have faith; she was told support would be provided, through the assistance of a benefactor. That benefactor would be a man named Joseph, a man who would provide for Mary and her child, for 13 years. It should be noted, at no point during Jesus's time on earth did he ever claim Joseph was his father. Instead, Jesus (and Mary) recognized God as his only father.

She's leaving... Again

My oldest is leaving for her second year of college this Sunday.

I have been bracing for this week, since May.

Thankfully, last year's experience was a very positive one.  My daughter made frequent home-visits, and made Dean's List each semester.  She made the loss and absence easier, because she not only came back, she came back as a better individual.

But the departure... the going-away... it has never been easy for me.

Any one else see this, from The Blind Side?

Today I read an article featuring yet another Reality Show that will help promote the adoption agenda.  Yay...because we don't have enough shows that exploit the unfortunate and the ignorant.

Personally, I am against any program that promotes the breaking of families, all so an adoption plan can become a reality.

I do, however, strongly support programs that promote the helping and mentoring of others, all without some sort of trade-agreement.

Please read before signing the petion for post-adoptive support for adoptees with RAD

The other day an AP pointed out a comment made on an adoption forum.  The comment written by Kevin Kruetner,  active adoption forum participant and AP, urged other APs to sign a rather sloppy petition to the President asking for post-adoption support for adoptees with Reactive Attachment Disorder.  His rationale to support the proposal revolved around his own experience seeing other APs with adopted children "suffering with this disorder".  As if that limited exposure to troubled ad

When dysfunctional APs affect the next generation

Today I received a phone call from my oldest who is away at college. She was very upset and in need of some extra support and empathy. The trigger? She received an e-card from my Amother... a Valentine wish, telling her how loved she is by her only known (and living) grandparents. How could this be an issue?

The dangers of the unprepared clueless Amother

Recently,  the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force (USPSTF), a government-funded group of independent experts,  addressed a comprehensive review of the available data on ways to detect maltreatment of children.

In a sobering acknowledgment, the USPSTF believes that there is not much that can be done to detect cases of child maltreatment that aren’t glaringly obvious. There’s simply not enough research to make a case for advising physicians to take specific actions during well-child visits, for example, to help determine which children are at risk. In 2010, nearly 700,000 children were victims of abuse and neglect; 1,537 of them died.

 [From:  Child Abuse: Why It’s So Hard to Determine Who’s at Risk, January 23, 2013 ]

The report continued:

An adopter's blame-game, and going to war

An AP sent me a link to check-out and read.   She warned me:  "get your barf bucked ready".

The December 10th piece,  An Adoptive Parent Won't Take the Blame, written by Motherlode blogger, (Jessica O'Dwyer ), featured on The New York Times, ends with the following conclusion:

The Travesty Behind Travis

In March, 2011, standing alone in a Galveston court room, a young father received his punishment for performing a sexual act on his 3 month old son before crushing his crying infant's skull.  Travis Mullis, 24 year old adult abused adoptee, was ordered to death.

At the time of court ruling, his still-living "forever" adoptive mom was living in sunny warm Florida.  She wanted nothing to do with him and the case.

Adoption Search Discoveries

Adoptee Matthew Salesses wrote a wonderful response to adoptive parent Ann Brenoff's article, My Daughter's Baby Picture, featured in the August 8, 2012 edition of Huffington Post.

When an adoptee resists touch and comfort (and develops a new dysfunction)

In my never-ending quest for self-improvement and enlightenment, I found a report titled "Somatic-Experiential Sex Therapy:  A Body-Centered Gestalt Approach to Sexual Concerns", and as I was reading the pages, I found myself -- parts of my own story  -- being explained to readers.

Not literally, of course.

Instead, the clinician's focus and example was based on the sexual dynamics and dysfunctions that develop when the child of a biologically intact family is raised and nurtured (?) by a depressed or sexually inappropriate care-taker.  But I believe many of the same sexual-related fears and anxieties can be repeated in thematic style for the adoptee put in similar dysfunctional (unhealthy) hands.  Stella Resnick, PhD from Los Angeles wrote:

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