Simon's blog

So today was Mother's day once more. It's not my favorite day, I must say. I hate the pressure to show-up and pretend.

This year my A-parents are abroad on one of their many trips, so there is no obligation this year around. Still I do get a knot in my stomach on days like these.

On days like these, I wonder how the mother I was born to is doing. Does Mother's day remind her of giving me away?

I hate thinking about crap like that.

My A-parents never understood that I had two mother's, one who wasn't there, and another that wasn't there all that much, but enough to make my life miserable. It's not with much honor I think of either, to be honest.

Normal people tell me I should be grateful having been given a second chance, but I don't feel gratitude, I feel anger most of the time; anger towards the people who just fucked without thinking of the consequences and anger towards the people who so desperately wanted a baby they bought one. I am so friggin' pissed off, I need to vent every now and then and normal people just don't get it. They're just there to bug me. I thought other adoptees might get it so I wrote a couple of messages over at forums dot adoption dot com, but there I got banned by the taste police. They just wanna  hear the happy sappy stories and not the gory details of adoption. They wanna hear of successful adoptees and loving parents who rescue innocent little lives. But the truth is: there is nothing innocent about us and our loving parents are just greedy bastards who had too much money in their pockets so they could buy what ever they wanted. Oh and a success, at the end of the day its just a performance well done, not an achievement made.