Is adoption a selfless act?
- Christmas, and a story of adoption (revisited)
- The Orphan Trade
- International adoptions by Americans get really tough
- Is Adoptionland becoming less demonic?
- Breeding grounds
- Coerced Adoption Should Concern Parents
- Adoption and Altruism
- Adoption seekers using YouTube, Facebook to find birth moms
- High-flying diplomat's China girl
- The Evangelical Christian adoption movement: The orphan crisis that wasn't
I was re-reading some older posts written by other members, and came across a very passionate thread, started by Kimette's piece, Saints or Sinners? You decide. Among the many comments made, one jumped off the page today:
I see the mothers who were coerced to abandon their children for the sake of the wanting couples in the name of Jesus. The whole book is about "praising God - saving orphans- finding more orphans-making money - talking to mothers-making more orphans". [From: "If I had been God...I would be very rich" ]
In other words, in order to adopt, an orphan has to be created. Meanwhile, the general public is told how many orphans there are in this world. [Over 145 million, last count?] Anyone eager-for-a-baby knows there are many adoption agencies working hard (and getting paid) to find homes/parents for orphans.... especially those that are still infants/babies. [Enter the solution to many an infertility-story: adoption.]
After I read The Saints or Sinners thread, I read an article posted in a Guest column, claiming "adoption is truly a selfless decision!". This selfless decision is supposed to come from enlightened teen moms.
Although some teens are loving and responsible mothers, far too often they are unprepared and simply too young to care for a child. Adoption has been a sort of taboo topic, especially for teens, who many times believe that it is a horrible and selfish act to place their child for adoption, when, in fact, it is one of the most selfless acts.
A new series on
MTVcalled, "16 and Pregnant" brings to light some of the difficulties teen parents deal with such as peer and parental pressure to parent the child. This pressure often does not take into account the likelihood the birthmother will discontinue her education and lose her own childhood.
True, teen parents often times are in need of social services, placing more burden on society to help them and their children. However this, I believe, is the least of worries.
In fairness, one needs to consider the best interest of the child. Often, a teen's desire to be a parent is truly selfish, not selfless, in nature. They must look past their own desires to parent and instead determine who the best parent is for the child. It can be a very complicated and emotional choice.
As the owner of an adoption agency, I have seen the most beautiful adoption scenarios as well as the most heartbreaking. A birthmother has the right to choose the family in which she would like her child to be raised. From: "Guest column: Adoption truly is a selfless decision", August 28, 2009, http://www.greenbaypressgazette.com/article/20090828/GPG0706/908280653/1269/GPG06 ]
While there are many groups, programs and organizations willing and wanting to work WITH teen moms, (see Teen Mom Support and Nurse Family Partnership, ) there are still owners of private adoption agencies, (many AP's themselves) trying to encourage/coerce teen mothers to relinquish their babies, so a better future can be had. What if that baby is sold to closet child abusers? [See: Abused Adoptees] Who is being selfish (and foolish), then?