A Growth Investment
By Colleen Steffen
Shorelines correspondent,
PONTE VEDRA BEACH -- The birthday party was over. The cake was eaten, the presents opened.
Shadows lengthened under the backyard trees and toys bobbed forgotten in the pool.
Why, then, hadn't the guests gone home? Kids of all ages, some still wearing their swimsuits and plastic pool floaties, occupied every piece of furniture in the crowded Hedstrom family living room.
A stranger dropping by that early evening might have wondered why they made no move to leave -- and perhaps why the two girls introduced as twins who had celebrated their fifth birthdays that day were of different nationalities.
"God has a great sense of humor," said Tedi Hedstrom. That's her favorite explanation for how her and her husband Donnie's family has tripled and their lives changed the last five years.
Dinnertime at the Hedstrom house is a busy affair. Donnie (left) dishes spaghetti to Russian-born Anastasia and Tedi serves drinks.
-- James Crichlow/Staff
Far from being guests wearing out their welcome at a family party, that gaggle of kids was the family itself -- 10 in all, from ages 5 to 18 and hailing from all parts of the globe.
It takes 10 minutes for the Hedstroms to run through everyone's name and background.
First, there are the couple's three birth children: 18-year-old Martin, 16-year-old Benjamin and 11-year-old Seth. A desire to add a girl led the Hedstroms to adopt Victoria, 5 years old and originally from China, then Elizabeth, also 5, who the Hedstroms adopted domestically. By chance, the two girls have the same birthday. That's why the family playfully calls them twins.
Since those adoptions five years ago, the Hedstroms have gone on to adopt 12-year-old Bailee, a girl from Vietnam, 15-year-old Natasha from Moldova, and 10-year-old Alexander and 12-year-old Anastasia, Russians who are biological brother and sister. They also recently adopted 8-year-old Naomi from China.
The Hedstroms also have changed their careers. Tedi left teaching and Donnie his car sales business to open their own non-profit agency four years ago. Tedi Bear Adoptions in Jacksonville Beach specializes in helping families navigate the often complicated and intimidating process of adopting children from other countries.
Victoria Hedstrom jokes around with her father Donnie Hedstrom as siblings (from left), Bailee, Seth and Anastasia look on.
-- James Crichlow/Staff
How in the world do they do it? Strangers cannot keep themselves from asking that after taking one look at that crowd of kids. Their Ponte Vedra Beach home of rambling additions and grocery store refrigerators begs the question: Are they saints? Are they crazy?
Neither, the couple said. One thing simply led to another. After three boys, they really wanted a girl but were unable to have one, so they started the process of adopting a baby within the United States. Difficulty and repeated delays in their efforts -- and a chance encounter with a missionary to China at a local store -- led them to investigate adopting a baby from China.
The first trip overseas was made for selfish reasons: to complete the family they had always desired, Tedi Hedstrom said. But the many trips to follow were for different reasons. They resulted from seeing first-hand the emotional and physical neglect orphaned children can suffer in other parts of the world. For instance, 5-year-old Victoria was malnourished and dangerously ill before coming to the United States.
Fifteen-year-old Natasha lived in an orphanage without electricity and only sporadic running water. She ate soup and oatmeal every day. Natasha has been with the Hedstroms just four months; she clings to her new mother as a much younger child might, even sitting in her lap.
"I like my daddy and Martin and everybody," she whispered. "I have a mommy and daddy and brothers and sisters."
Nearby, 10-year-old Alexander sat holding the teddy bear he was given his first day in his new home.
Language barriers, culture shock and homesickness are just a few of the adjustment problems the family has weathered with each new child, not to mention the growing logistical challenge of each new mouth to feed and back to clothe. At the Hedstrom house, bedrooms are shared, clothes are bought at garage sales, eating out is a rarity. For the older kids, babysitting the younger kids is a given.
"Sharing everything you have" -- that's the hardest part, said 11-year-old birth son Seth.
"It's always hectic -- the thought of that table for nine," said his biological brother, 16-year-old Benjamin. "But I think there's a lot of kids out there who do need families and I regret our family is one of the only ones who do that."
The Hedstroms' three boys have accompanied their parents on many of their trips to foreign countries to adopt or assist others in adopting, and those experiences have broadened their perspectives, the kids said.
"It's changed my life forever," said the oldest of the clan, Martin. He has never objected to his growing family, even though he thinks many of his peers would.
"It would take away from what they get," he said. "But they haven't seen it's really needed, you know? It's made me a less-selfish person."
The family quite possibly could grow even more. The Hedstroms said they would like to adopt again.
Glancing around that family living room where just for a moment, like a lull in a storm, his children sat together among new birthday dolls and forgotten wrapping paper, Donnie Hedstrom said he can't imagine why more people don't adopt.
"Why would people not enrich their lives by doing this?" he asked. "I would think life would be just boring. It's a very fun, fulfilling thing."