Adoption Disruption Indicators
http://www.achildswaiting.com/adoptive_parents/adoption_disruption/adopt_disrupt_ind.php
There are several factors that can help adoptive families predict the possibility of an adoption disruption. Having a good understanding of your family and the dynamics that it presents can help circumvent any possible problems before a child comes home. If your family has a characteristic that may contribute to a possible adoption dissolution, it is important to educate yourself and put every possible intervention into place. Sometimes adoption disruptions are preventable other times they are not. Whenever possible, the adoptive families should do what they can to be proactive.
Families dealing with or have one or more of the following issues or areas of concern may be faced with a possible adoption disruption if the placement becomes unstable.
- Misinformation about the child’s special needs
- Abuse, neglect, drug exposure, mental health issues
- Unrealistic expectations
- Using the child’s response to them as a parent as a gage for their parenting abilities rather than understanding where the child came from and giving him/her time to grieve and adjust
- Poor education and training from the family serving adoption agency
- Failing to ask for help or assess resources
- Believing that “Love is All They Need”
- Unresolved infertility Issues
- Adopting to “Save a Child” and being disappointed when the child
“doesn’t appreciate what we have done for them” - Lack of a strong support system or extended family not in support of the adoption
- Issues with other children in the home (parent loyalty issues to birth children or other children who have been in the home longer) The “new” child is taking away from them
- Family with less flexibility and numerous “rules”
- Both adoptive parents are not equally parenting the child or committed to the placement
- One or both of the parents are not willing to compromise the type of lifestyle they had before the new child came home
- Lack of entitlement to the child.
- Financial strain brought on by the addition of a child to the home or sudden changes in the household (loss of employment, moving to a new home, etc.
- Splitting between the two adoptive parents or marital problems arising from how to handle the child’s special needs (one “sees” the problem behaviors while the other does not)
- Family has poor communication and coping skills
- Family has failed to define roles, attach, and integrate as a family. This will only occur when all parties are having positive interactions and have similar coping skills. This plays out in general family dynamics. Some children will simply respond better in a different environment.
(See also "Adoption Disruption / Dissolution", "Indicators of Successful Adoption")