VIRGIN COUPLE: WHY CAN'T WE CONCEIVE?

FERTILITY doctors were baffled when a perfectly-healthy couple claimed they couldn't have children - until they confessed they had never made love.

The husband, 36, and his 32-year-old wife thought that all they had to do to make a baby was to lie next to each other and let nature take its course.

When nothing happened, they saved up £7,000 and went to an IVF clinic where they were given a quick lesson about the facts of life.

A spokesman for the clinic said: "We're not talking about retards here, but a couple who were brought up in a strict religious environment who simply did not know how babies were created. It was only after they were subjected to a battery of tests and both were found to be perfectly fertile that we asked them how often they had sex.

"The husband said, 'We're not exactly sure what you mean'."

The couple are now doing a sexual therapy course, which, doctors hope, will lead to the child they are longing for.

The spokesman for the clinic at the German University of Luebeck added: "They seemed to think that lying next to each other at night in their bedclothes would somehow miraculously produce a child."

He said the couple had read up about in-vitro fertilisation treatment but believed it was something to do with a "turkey baster, a mattress and a woman standing on her head." He went on: "Although this does have its humorous side, the pair were woefully ignorant about sexuality.

"But at least they have a marvellous awakening to look forward to at a time when most people have long shed their innocence."

The university plans to carry out a survey to discover how many more childless couples think the same way and are in desperate need of basic sex education.

THE most important thing to do before starting a family is to find the right partner, according to a new survey. The next priority to take a job for enjoyment and not just the money.