exposing the dark side of adoption
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AMom Anonymous' blog

by AMom Anonymous on Sunday, 14 July 2013

Niels you asked, "I wonder if your agency advertized with statements like: "finding families for children"."

The answer sadly, is yes.

We were told that the reason that the biological mothers relinquished is because they could not take care of the children nor care for them.

At no point did we ever imagine that 7 years later we would find our children's biological family, intact and doing well, albeit poor.

Which brings to mind the question of when is poverty ever a criteria to give up a child for ICA?!

by AMom Anonymous on Monday, 08 July 2013

Letter #1: I read this thread http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/45548#comment-25698 (several times).  I feel that I have to chime in, as I find myself in a position I never thought I would find myself in. I have no help, no one to turn to, only a few close friends to hear me out. It has been a downhill roller coaster ride for awhile now.

We adopted a 5-year old girl six years ago via ICA. Little did we know what was ahead of us. Both my husband and I are professionals, we are educators as well, we come from pretty stable families. Our agency did little to discourage the adoption of our daughter, but instead encouraged it as we adopted previously her newborn brother. We were not made aware of the issues that adopting an older child would have on all our lives.

Our home is a stable two parent home, we have a loving, caring, patient and fun home. We are very present parents who give our children alot of attention. We have given our daughter everything that any other upper middle class girl could have and probably even more. She has had dance lessons, gymnastics lessons, swim lessons, yoga, horse back riding lessons, has participated in team sports, arts and crafts classes and has even attended private schools. We moved her to the public school system this year with disastrous results. Much of we were not prepared for. Our daughter at home is quiet and respectful. She is not hyperactive at all.

She is very athletic and artistic, and social. She is an easy child who does not ask for anything. She is very pretty and gentle and reserved. And yet....

Little by little, she has become more and more unstable. This Spring she tried to kill herself, she has depression and or is angry, she has stolen from other people and lied to us. She suffers from grief and loss, she has difficulty learning, she has speech issues, she dissociates...and on...and on.