Iowa teen Sabrina Ray honored year after her death

DANIELLE GEHR   | The Des Moines Register

Marking a year since Sabrina Ray's death, around 15 Perry community members held a vigil to remember the starved teen who died weighing only 56 pounds under the care of her adoptive parents. 

The vigil was held Friday at Wiese Park, where Pastor Rick Gates spoke, saying he will focus on the things that do make sense to him as he and others come to grips with how the circumstances surrounding Ray's death could have taken place in their town. 

Misty Ray, 40, and her husband, Marc Ray, 41, are charged with the death of Sabrina Ray after the 16-year-old was found unresponsive May 12, 2017 at their home in Perry. The couple took in Sabrina as a foster child in 2011 and adopted her in 2013. Both adoptive parents pleaded not guilty to the several felonies they are charged with.

On top of fostering children, the couple also owned a day care called Rays of Sunshine Daycare, which they ran out of their home. This was especially troubling for the organizer of the event, Amanda Howard, 35, whose children attended the day care. '

Howard, along with other community members, had a tree and bench placed in the park in the teen's honor. Howard said she saw Ray a few times. 

"I didn't notice anything and that was something I struggled with for a long time," Howard said. "I ended up having to seek outside help for it because it was affecting my life. It was affecting my family's life."

Gates told attendees he wanted to focus on three things: Love, hope and forgiveness. The last part of his speech, he said, people will have the most trouble with.

"Most of us don't come here tonight thinking about forgiveness," Gates said. 

He compared not forgiving someone to taking poison and expecting someone else to die. Forgiveness doesn't mean condoning the actions, he said. He also encouraged community members to forgive themselves as the thought "How could I have not known?" looms in their heads. '

Stephanie Heitman, 46, attended the event as a community member, having lived in Perry for around 25 years, though as a mental health therapist with Genesis, she saw the effect Ray's death had on the community first-hand. Several people who were struggling with Ray's death sought help from Genesis.

The Rays lived in town for a very long time ... so lots and lots and lots of families were impacted by the news," Heitman said, especially since the Rays were left in charge of many community members' children. "Not necessarily directly, but just knowing that they left the most precious thing to them to these people that could have done this (is) very disturbing to people." 

Heitman said community members are especially unsettled because Ray's death came less than a year after three Perry residents were killed with a machete in their home. Living in a town of less than 8,000 people, these types of incidents aren't expected to happen, she said.