Utica-born adoptee searching for her mom
SCOTTSDALE, AZ. - UTICA, NY, June 29, 2011 -- Beni Cunningham only knows she's a Utica-area native because, well, she was born there and then adopted out later.
Now she's asking for the truth about her birth mother -- Who is she? Is she still out there? What kind of medical history should Cunningham expect?
"I have been searching with my heart my entire life. My parents tell me that when I first found out I was adopted I wanted to search," she said via email interview. "I have tried searching through the years but there wasn't enough information on how to do it. With technology and social media such as Facebook, searching is much easier. Actively, I have been searching since the birth of my first child six years ago."
Cunningham, 37, is married with two children. She's a bookkeeper for a commercial real estate firm in Scottsdale, Arizona. She also gives private art lessons on the weekend. She was adopted in Rockland County, NY, and grew up in New York City. Her own adoptive mother was also adopted and is actively searching for her birth parents. Cunningham's adoptive parents also adopted a child two years older than her.
"My family are wonderful, loving people," she said. "I have an older brother who I adore and have a very close relationship with. My parents have been helping in my search."
MISSING PUZZLE PIECES
So why now, does she want answers? The same reasons, she said, that anyone else would.
"My husband and I wanted to give the gift of medical history to our children," she said. "In addition, I have always wanted to know who I look like, act like and have similar characteristics as. Since I could remember I have always felt something missing. Very much like a puzzle with missing pieces. You can still make out the puzzle but would never be complete."
OBSTACLES IN THE SEARCH
But it's been nothing short of a trouble searching for details about a person Cunningham has close to no information about. She knows she was born at what was then St. Luke's Hospital on New Year's Eve of 1974 and left the hospital with her adopted parents. According to a New York Post article written last year, Cunningham’s adopted mother, Lois Kaufman, met her daughter's birth mother at the hospital, a blonde woman who handed her the baby and got into a taxi-cab, alone. Cunningham was legally adopted on February 4, 1976.
Cunningham has hit brick walls in her search, though. The attorney her parents had used to adopt both she and her brother had a shady history.
"When I found out New York State seals adoptions files, I asked my parents what my next step should be," Cunningham said. "They said to contact the attorney involved -- Seymour Fenichel. Sadly, Fenichel is deceased."
If that name sounds remotely familiar, it's because Fenichel was a well-known lawyer involved in what's referred to as a 'grey market' baby selling business.
"The adoptions he did are labeled gray market because he did not falsify information on the original birth certificates," Cunningham explained. "New York State sealed original birth certificates (OBC) of adopted children since the 1930’s. Often the OBCs were stampedillegitimateorbastard. Without labeling the children, the OBC was sealed and an amended birth certificate was issued to the adoptive parents with their names on it."
Selling children for upwards of $12 thousand a pop, Fenichel was eventually arrested, disbarred, and served five years probation and minor fines,according to the Post. He died at age 70 in 1994. Cunningham's questions remain unanswered, and she reached out to Utica Daily News to spread the word that she's searching for her mom.
"The first steps I took were to receive my non-identifying information from the state of New York," she said. "Adoptees can register with the state and receive information about their biological family that does not disclose who they are."
FINDING HER ROOTS
Here's what she does know about her birth mom:
- At the time of Cunningham's birth, her mother was 38 years old
- She's Caucasian
- She has a high school education
- She was, at least at the time, a housewife with four children prior to Cunningham's birth
Here's what she knows about her father:
- He was 41 years old
- He, too, was Caucasian
- He was a Protestant
- He had two years of college
- He was a bridge worker, possibly a civil engineer
- He was short in height -- Cunningham is just four feet, eleven inches tall
Fenichel told her adoptive parents that her birth parents' last name started with 'C' and has many vowels in it, 'and was Italian sounding,' Cunningham said.
"Based on this information I formulated my search, but have not found anything yet," she said. "I remain hopeful and know that one day I will be reunited with them."
It's frustrating, she added, because she can't find the link she needs -- no other birth siblings, no hints or clues but the little information her adoptive parents armed her with.She started a Facebook pageand is hoping for some results in the social networking world.
"I have spoken to a lot people in the Utica-New Hartford area who have extended their hearts and hands in helping my search, but nothing has resulted yet," Cunningham said. "My biggest fear is never knowing my truth or my roots. I can easily take a DNA test which will give me an idea of what ethnicity I am, but that does not connect me to this world or my roots. I believe knowing the truth, my truth, is better than never knowing at all. I believe I can find peace without all my pieces but I will never give up hope."
'I LOVE YOU'
And she has a solid, genuine message she wants to send to that woman, who would be 75 years old today -- the woman who gave her child a different life. That message is that there is no bitterness, Cunningham said, she just wants answers.
"If I can say one thing to my mom," she said, "it's,Please have the courage to search for me. I know you have it because you gave it to me. I am ok. If everything did not happen exactly the way it did, I would not be in this wonderful place I am now. I love you."
If you have any information that could aid cunningham in her search for her adoptive parents, please contact her by visiting the Facebook page she has dedicated to find her mom,by clicking here.