Overcoming obstacles: Foreign-born adoptees find their way in Caucasian culture

By Lisa Carolin, Special Writer

Any youngster knows that it’s tough being different. But for foreign-born adopted children, growing up in a primarily Caucasian area such as Chelsea and Dexter can present its own set of special challenges.

Chelsea resident Carol Rauschenberger, who adopted two children from Cambodia, said that raising her two Asian children in mostly Caucasian Chelsea may be a disservice to them. She and her husband, Reid Travis, have considered moving to Ann Arbor with its more diverse culture.

"After I first brought Sam home, I spoke at a Girl Scout troop about government and I brought him along," she said. "A little Hispanic girl looked at Sam and said, ‘Why did you adopt a brown baby. They don’t like brown here.’

"I wanted to cry for her and for my baby, Sam."

Rauschenberger said that, so far, neither of her children has personally experienced any negativity from other children, mostly because Sam is only 3 years old and Bopha, who recently arrived from Cambodia, doesn’t understand English well enough.

"Mostly, the young children are amazed at the adoption part of the equation," she said, adding that classmates often ask her if her children are adopted.

"But I’ve heard from mothers of older adopted Asian children that much more subtle discrimination happens when they are older, at dating age," she said.

Rauschenberger said that the first significant international adoption was from Korea after the Korean War.

"So many of those first children are adults now," she said. "Adoption from China, Vietnam and Cambodia is fairly recent. Most are just grade-schoolers or younger now.

"I’m reading whatever I can and being prepared to help my children through any types of discrimination they may encounter in the future."

Rauschenberger’s oldest child, Zoë, 7, is in second grade at North Creek Elementary School, where Bopha started kindergarten in December, five weeks after arriving in the United States.

Rauschenberger said Zoë is proud of being the "only person in Chelsea with a brother and sister from Cambodia."

"Obviously it makes her feel special," Rauschenberger said.

In 1992, Sue and Terry Mors of Dexter Township adopted a 5-month-old baby from South Korea.

"Anybody who feels bad about the world should go to Metro Airport when an international flight with babies comes in," Sue Mors said. "There’s not a dry eye."

The couple moved from Lansing to Dexter Township when their adopted son, Kevin, was 2 years old. He attended daycare in Chelsea and later went to the Dexter Co-op Nursery School.

At the nursery school, the Mors said a 4-year-old taunted Kevin because of the shape of his face. Mors told the teacher, who urged her to forget about it because she thought it would make it worse for Kevin. Mors said the other child’s mother knew what happened, but never said anything to her about it.

"Her right not to be inconvenienced or embarrassed was greater than Kevin’s right not to hear a racial epithet," she said.

"It taught me that I had to be vigilant and needed to broach the subject of adoption earlier than I anticipated."

The Mors explained to Kevin that he was a Korean-American and praised his physical characteristics.

They were also pleased with the atmosphere of support in Kevin’s third-grade class in Dexter schools.

When Kevin was among several third-graders who read to first-graders, one of the youngsters taunted him about his looks and told him that he was Chinese. Three of his buddies stood up to the child and explained that Kevin was Korean.

"Now Kevin laughs about that story," Mors said. "The most important thing to him was that his friends stood up for him."

But misunderstandings still happen. Mors said teachers and principals still confuse Kevin with a Chinese boy at the school.

In 1995, the Mors adopted another child from South Korea, 8-month-old Miranda.

At one time, Miranda was bullied by a neighbor, but Mors wasn’t sure if it was because of her heritage or outgoing personality. So far, the young girl has not been called any derogatory names.

"A lot of people ask her if she’s Chinese and she welcomes the opportunity to set them straight," Mors said.

Like Rauschenberger, the Mors have thought about moving to Ann Arbor in search of more diversity.

"People are not as accustomed to differences in Dexter," Mors said.

Mors said Kevin doesn’t particularly enjoy talking about his Korean background, while Miranda is comfortable doing so. Both children have attended Korean Culture Camp, where they learn about the language, traditions, cooking and other aspects.

"For one week a year, they don’t have to be a minority," she said of the camp.

Like the Mors family, Lucy and Ira Cohen adopted babies from South Korea. Twins Jonathan and Danny were 4½ months old, and are now fifth-graders at Creekside Intermediate School in Dexter.

"We got a lot of funny looks and head turns when people saw the twins," Lucy Cohen said. "People would ask, ‘Where did you get them?’"

Like the Mors, the Cohen family has had people confuse their children’s heritage.

"People ask if we’re Chinese or Japanese," Jonathan said. "It’s special being from Korea. I don’t think about being different."

Jonathan and Danny are being raised in the Jewish faith, which they feel makes them as different in Dexter as being Korean.

"We weren’t in Korea that long," Danny said. "It’s fun being different. It’s fun being Jewish. It’s cool, and you get to explain stuff."

Jonathan and Danny say that some kids used to pull their eyes in a slant and make fun of them, but it doesn’t happen anymore. People often ask them if they are Chinese or Japanese, and the boys think that’s just because some people have never met anyone from Korea.

¾ Associate Editor Sheila Pursglove also contributed to this article.