exposing the dark side of adoption
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Jen Piedra public response to Danalee Thornock


Dear Dana,

We were very disapponted that you felt the need to post this email to a public forum, rather than be happy a child is in a home and any problem you have with us should be dealt with us directly, but we are not surprised. After all, we are clients not afraid to speak up, as we have done for months. We have grown use to your lies, which fills this email from top to bottom.

Let me ask you this, wasn't the time you took to write this email, precious time you could be enjoying with your own children? Is it not true that writing an email and sending it online is time you spend on the net rather than spending time with your children? Insinuating a family is not happy, nor enjoying their children, such as you have in your email, is nothing more than your futile attempt to subtly make someone other than you and your agency look bad.

Time spent on the internet, emailing, researching a subject you are interested in, emailing friends, etc. is a part of everyday life for most people in today's modern world. It's a shame you have tried to insinuate that we do this rather than realize that like most people, while their children play together, or take a nap, or watch a movie, or spend time with the other parent, a person may take some personal "Me Time" for 30 minutes or so here and there and do whatever they want to do during that time. That is not taking away time from enjoying your child.

As obvious on our personal web pages and emails to family and friends, our days are filled with many joyous events spent with our children, including pictures taken to commemorate events that are happening for the first time as the newly formed family that we are.

Let's set the record straight here...YOU have NEVER called my home. YES, you spoke with me for about an hour, but I CALLED YOU, as recorded on my telephone bill.(Date 3/21/03 Time 11:24:59 Duration 55:06) An international phone call from Okinawa Japan to you. I called you in regards to unsuitable comments sent to us via email by Scott, basically saying he was ready to say the hell with our adoption. If you'd like exact words verbatum, I can supply you with that email, as well as the email you sent me asking for us to retract our statements on any email forum that we may have said anything negative about your agency on. We were merely seeking the support from others who have been in our situation, sadly enough, all with YOUR agency! As I responded to you then, I had removed myself from all forums but I did ask the list owners to remove my posts,much to their dismay and curiosity. Subsiquently, this brought about the realization that an FOC Agency Representative was lying by using another name and email address of her own, and policing email support loops, adoption survey websites, etc. in the hunt for anything negatively said about your agency. Shouldn't she have been spending that time with her children, or is it ok to be on the net for the cause of saving face for FOC? 1 in 5 unhappy clients is more than enough. 1 shouldn't even be unhappy. You may try to suppress or threaten families to keep quiet, but the truth is, many families are unhappy with FOC. All having dealt with the same problems over and over. But you already know this. It's a shame you don't take your position as Director and do something to CHANGE IT, rather than try to make others look down upon anyone who dares to complain.

Secondly, Scott, whom you mentioned in your email, HAS NOT called us in weeks. Our last phone calls to him were made by us, and took place several days prior to our departure to finalize our adoption. As we got on a plane March 23rd, and it is now April 7, we have now gone more than 2 weeks without hearing from your agency, as stated on our adoption rating surveys and told to those who have asked. NOT ONE phone call while we were in country. NOT ONE phone call to say Congratulations, as the FOC propaganda promises "FOC will be the very first to congratulate you." It has been 1 week since we received the Birth Certificate and Adoption Decree, and we have not received 1 phone call, email, letter, etc. This forwarded email you posted is the only thing we have seen or heard in regards to our adoption. You are a liar! And I have the emails and phone records to back it up as well as every threat and unethical thing done by your agency.

My "knowledge" of the country in which we chose to adopt from is from the many extra months we had to wait, since we were lied to in regards to when we would bring our child home, giving me extra time to learn as much as I could. What I know about the happenings in the country, it's governmental doings, etc are because I did my homework and asked questions. Perhaps I could teach you and your country program director a thing or two, because I doubt you know half of what I do about their culture, spirituality, honesty, morals and beliefs. I didn't settle with being given a bit of information here and there, especially after receiving emails contradicting each other because your program director lies so much he can't keep straight who he says what to.I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could, long before even stepping foot in-country. It's amazing what you can find on the net, including 990 reports that look a bit shady, or the 1/4 million dollars your agency receives each year in "Humanitarian Aid" money that seems to disappear for unkown uses. A family run adoption agency is the first sign of a shady operation, what better way to keep tabs on things when it's your own family helping. Funny, a family run agency is one of the key signs to a problematic agency according to several adoption informational websites.

As far as the in-country representatives go........I can say this of the 2.

1 is nothing short of a snake in the grass, highly resembling a used car salesman or con-artist.

The other is the only person not only capable of showing any proffessionalism, but honesty and truth, as well as being solely responsible for getting these kids ready for their new life and getting the paperwork done. This person is the ONLY one that gives a damn about these kids and the families adopting them. A heart is in it for the right reasons, and its been taken advantage of by an unethical agency.

Let me give you a helpful hint, if you want to keep agency Rep's from talking, try treating them in the manner in which they deserve, and maybe think about paying them. Don't have families going to them and asking for money or food that FOC has promised to them when the child they relinquished is adopted. Hmm, wouldn't this be considered payment in return for the child, or do you call that Humanitarian Aid? How about children being adopted to a family knowing they do not meet specifications for US Immigration? You've been paid thousands of dollars and when these children cannot get their Immigrant Visa, do you plan to repay the family? Not according to the contracts you have families sign. Your contracts state you are not responsible for this aspect, as well as any other possible things that could happen, to save your own butts. We signed our "Deal with the Devil" merely to get our son home because it was his best interest we had at heart.

ahhhhh, the fits of laughter echo through my home as my 2 children play and build on their sibling relationship. I think I'm ready to"take out the garbage" and go sit and watch them instead! The Auckland INS is already suspicious enough from what we were told. I think I'll let them take care of your demise and I'll continue to lay my head down each night knowing we stood true to our morals and beliefs, and not once "rolled over" to your BS!

2003 Apr