The true meaning of family

Daily News (Bowling Green, KY)

Bowling Green couple bring home new Chinese daughter

Author: Alyssa Harvey, aharvey@bgdailynews.com -- 270-783-3257

Many parents claim they would go to the ends of the earth for their children.

Mike and Anita Vantrease of Bowling Green understand that sentiment's emotional and literal aspects.

They recently adopted a daughter in China.

"She started walking Jan. 9," Anita Vantrease said, smiling proudly as she watched 14-month-old Emmerson "Emme" Yangxuan Vantrease toddle after her father Tuesday as he hurriedly dressed for work at their Covington Street home. "She sleeps through the night now. The hardest thing in the beginning was getting her to sleep, because of the time difference between here and China."

Adoption is almost a tradition in Anita Vantrease's family. She was adopted when she was 11 months old. Her father also was adopted.

She and her husband even discussed adoption long before they learned they couldn't have children.

"We're really comfortable with adoption," Anita Vantrease said.

The couple might have decided on domestic adoption, but Anita Vantrease saw a television special about international adoptions and something tugged at her heart.

"A lot of those babies grow up in orphanages," she said. "My heart went out to them."

A friend recommended that they try

, an adoption agency that started in Utah about 25 years ago and now also is licensed in Idaho and Washington.

"We placed more than 100 children from 12 countries last year," CHI Executive Director

said. "We've had about 10 families from Kentucky (who have adopted international children) over the last five to 10 years."

In some ways, international adoption is easier than a domestic adoption, said Price, who has three biological sons and an adopted daughter from Romania.

"The waiting period for a referral is shorter than for a domestic adoption," she said. "Here, the birth mothers may pick the adopted families. (In international adoptions), most of the children are in orphanages."

That means there also is less of a chance that the natural parents will return for them, Price said.

"It's emotionally traumatic to have a child in your house for three months and the mother comes back and says, 'I want them,'" she said. "In almost all the countries, it's a final adoption."

Such orphanages usually don't have a medical history of the children's natural families - a disadvantage for potential adoptive families, Price said.

But the worst part of adoption is the waiting, Price said.

"At first, you're chasing documents and you have some measure of control," she said. "But once that's done, you have no control. It can take three, four, five months."

Anita Vantrease agreed that waiting is tough.

"When you're pregnant, you have a date to shoot for," she said. "When you're adopting, you don't have a date."

She and Mike Vantrease began their adoption odyssey in March 1999. It was this past December before everything was finalized and Anita Vantrease could travel to China to get Emmerson.

"My mother and I went; Mike had to work," Anita Vantrease said as she watched Mike Vantrease scoop their daughter up for a hug before leaving the house. "We were there for almost two weeks. We got her the second day we were there.

"... When they brought her to us, she was asleep. Me and Mom just sat there looking at her."

Anita Vantrease even got her first taste of the parental midnight shift that first night.

"She woke up at midnight," she said of Emmerson. "I ran to pick her up and she started bawling. My mom took her and she still cried.

"Then Mom remembered she had brought some homemade cookies. She gave Emme one and she stopped crying just like that. Nobody believes it when I tell them that.

"Then she wanted to stay up and play, so we played with her for a long time."

Anita Vantrease brought Emmerson home Dec. 14 to family and friends eagerly waiting at the airport to meet the new Vantrease.

"She was easygoing and laughing even though she was getting off the plane to meet 10 strangers," Anita Vantrease said.

The Vantreases want Emmerson to know her culture. They kept their daughter's Chinese name, Yangxuan, as her middle name and ordered materials to help Emmerson remember her language and learn it themselves.

"We want her to know as much about her culture as possible, and we want her to go back and see Nanchang, where she was born," Anita Vantrease said.

It's a decision that some don't understand, she said.

"A lot of people ask, 'Why do you want her to know about her culture?' and I say, 'Well, wouldn't you want to know?'" she said.

The Vantreases hope to return to China one day to adopt a sister for Emmerson.

"I'm fascinated with Chinese culture, and Emme loves to be around other kids," Anita Vantrease said, stroking her daughter's hair. "I was an only child, and I just want her to have a sister. I would love to go back to China."

Anita Vantrease believes she and her husband were destined to adopt Emmerson.

"The Chinese believe that there is an invisible red thread that connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance," she said. "The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."

The Vantreases agreed that international adoption was the best way for them to expand their family.

"It was well worth it," Anita Vantrease said.

"Once you have a child, you can't imagine what you did before you had one. She is definitely a gift from God."

Caption:

Anita Vantrease of Bowling green shares a tender moment with her newly adopted daughter Emmerson, 14 months, on Tuesday at their home. Photo by Joe Imel