Cherry Shenker Q&A

Adoption
Sheri Shenker

"Every child has a right to grow up in a loving family unit. No institution, no matter how well managed, can match the feeling of belonging, that a family can provide."

Sheri is an Adoption Accredited Social Worker in Private Practice (SAASWIPP) with over 18 years experience in the adoption field. She has experience in local and international adoptions and was the founder and director of an NGO specialising in adoption and the care of HIV orphans. She was an executive committee member of SAASWIPP (1997-1999) and Chairlady of SAASWIPP Gauteng (1999-2000). Sheri has been privileged to facilitate hundreds of successful adoption placements throughout her career, both in South Africa, and Internationally. She provides counselling to women who are pregnant and looking at adoption as an option for their child, as well as screening and counselling prospective adoptive parents. She lives in Johannesburg with her teenage son.

Questions & Answers

Q:	We are a young married couple who have been through 5 years of unsuccessful infertility treatment, and are now looking at adopting a new born Caucasian baby. Can you help us?
Q:	We are looking at adopting a child and would like to know who we could contact to start this process?
Q:	We have recently adopted a new born baby boy, and want to know the best time to start telling our son that he is adopted.
Q:	I am looking at adopting a child but have heard some very scary stories of birth parents taking their child back after the child has been placed with the adoptive parent. Can this really happen?
Q:	We are looking at the possibility of adopting an abandoned baby from one of the orphanages in our area, but are very scared of adopting an HIV positive child as we could not bear losing the child to AIDS after the adoption. How do we make sure we are adopting a healthy child?
Q:	Hi Sheri. I hope that you would be able to assist. My daughter is 4 years old. Her father has never been there for her and the last time he saw her was when she was 6 weeks old. His details is also not recorded on her birth certificate. I have married a great man when my daughter was 3 years old and we also have another baby together. My husband would now like to legally adopt my daughter. How should we go about it? I’ve got no idea where her real dad is, but the last time I heard, he was in Iran / Iraq. Also, my daughter has started calling my husband daddy not long after we got married and now can’t remember that he hasn’t always been there! During my pregnancy with my baby, she always used to asked whether daddy would feel her kick in my tummy as well etc. I don’t know how to respond to these questions and when I should tell her the truth as I don’t want her to feel that her baby sister is more imortant. Please help. THX
Q:	I have 2 adopted children, My daughter is 4 and son 1. I have told her from young about her tummy mummy and that she is adopted. Lately I find she asks alot of questions - and I don’t mind and try to tell her the truth as much as possible. I am a bit anxious though as I don’t know anyone else with adopted kids and how exactly to go about answering and what to expect.
Q:	Hi there Sheri My husband and I have been battling for 4 years to become parents after many failed fertility attempts. We have finally found a wonderful women who is, hopefully, going to bless us by putting her baby up for adoption to us once he or she is born. My question is, where do we go from here, do we go to a lawyer? or is there a more cost effective way of handling all the paperwork. (we currently reside in Knysna) Thank you for all your help!
Q:	Hi Sheri My daughter is almost 2 now. Myself and her Biological father split when she was a year old and he has hardly seen her since. He does not pay maintance for her at all and quite frankly I dont want it. He moves around all over the country and I will not let him be a father to her when it suits him. I have met a new man now and we are getting married in October, my new husband now really would like to Legally adopt my daughter? What is the procedure that I would need to follow to get the ball going? I am not sure if her real father would give consent for that just to be spitefull to me. What do you suggest?

Source: www.babaenkleuter.co.za

Organizations: K&S Adoption South Africa

Persons: Sheri Shenker