Families across the colour line
Families across the colour line
TRANS-RACIAL adoptions are slowly becoming more acceptable in South Africa -- but families who adopt a baby of another race still face heavy criticism from across the board.
Sue van Wyk* adopted her son, Tito*, five years ago -- and despite the fact that he would otherwise have ended up living in an institution -- she faced and still faces hurtful remarks about the adoption.
"When I was going through the adoption process some of my black friends were saying that it was unfair and wrong for a white woman to bring up a black child.
"And on the other hand I had my father, a typical white Afrikaans man, initially refusing to accept my future son as his grandchild because of the colour issue.
"I went up against a lot but when I see my son today -- he is so well adjusted and full of beans, I am glad I made the decision to go ahead with the adoption. When he is older he will probably explore his birth culture more closely and I have always been very open to him about everything.
"To all those who criticised me, I'd like to ask ... 'what have you done to make a difference in a child's life?'"
Katinka Pieterse, a social worker who handles baby care and statutory services at the Apostolic Faith Mission Welfare Council (AFM) says that cross-race adoptions -- like cross-cultural adoptions -- are still quite controversial in South Africa, but slightly less than in the past.
While the perfect scenario would be to place a child in a family within their own race and cultural group "the reality is that there are not many black families who are coming forward to adopt babies ... so there are more black babies available for adoption.
"White couples also in the past would be more open to adopting coloured babies because of the colour issue and also because they spoke the same language as the babies birth parents.
"But white couples are now becoming more open to adopting black babies. People are starting to see cross-race adoptions as a reality -- there are so many babies that need a warm family -- and more are considering it."
Many couples from overseas who adopt South African babies do not face the same race issues at home that local couples who adopt cross-racially do.
"We find that overseas the acceptance of the baby -- even if it is of a different race -- is far better than it is here." There is also a big difference between same-race adoptions and cross-race adoptions locally.
"The whole screening and recruitment differs from same race adoptions. We are well aware of the complications that go with this sort of adoption. We need to ensure that couples are well prepared for what lies ahead of them.
"We try and anticipate every sort of obstacle that they may face. These couples get different training and screening. We ensure that the entire family is accepting of what is happening so that the child will be well accepted into their folds.
"We feel very strongly that the whole family -- not just mom and dad -- are in on the adoption.
"In preparation we also give families information about racial identity and loss of culture and we encourage them to find positive role models for the child within the same race group.
"We also do investigations in the community in which the child will be placed -- particularly if it is a traditional white community.
"It is important for these couples not to lose sight of the differences between them and their child. They are also taught to challenge their own assumptions," says Pieterse.
"It is about people making a difference," adds Van Wyk.
"Have you ever visited an institution and seen the sadness on those babies faces just because there is not enough love to go around. Two or three people can't supply the same love to 20 children as 20 or 40 people would. Isn't it better to have a loving family who isn't the same colour as you rather than have no family at all?" she asks.