Tough love

Sunday, April 13, 2008

They are just about ready to give up.

Blair and Gary Miller have a real desire to adopt a little girl from China. They already have done it once: Connelly, now 5, was adopted in 2003.

Telegram photo / Joel Hodges (ENLARGE)

Yosef Moore, 10, right, and his sister, Mihret, 6, play soccer with their adopted family Thursday in the front yard of their Rocky Mount home. The children were adopted from Ethiopia by Heather and Avery Moore.

But if the seemingly endless backlog in Chinese adoptions continues, the Rocky Mount couple could be looking at a five- to 10-year wait before they hold the new child in their arms, Blair Miller said. The wait is just too long for the Millers, who have two biological children in addition to Connelly.

"We are considering not adopting at this point because of the slowdown. We will have to make a final decision in July, which is the time when we would have to redo some of our paperwork," Miller said.

The Millers are not alone in facing problems with foreign adoptions, said Chuck Johnson, vice president of agency service for the National Council for Adoption in Alexandria, Va. Families nationwide are dealing with fraudulent adoption agencies here and abroad, changes in U.S. foreign adoption policies and delays – or even complete moratoriums – in adoptions by certain countries.

These factors have contributed to a steady decline in foreign adoptions in the last three years, despite the fact that the number of orphans continues to grow, Johnson said. The U.S. State Department released numbers in early April showing 19,613 foreign adoptions in 2007, down from 20,679 in 2006 and 22,728 in 2005.

"Americans' interest in intercountry adoptions is not diminished with the decreasing numbers. There is still tremendous commitment to it," Johnson said. "But what you are seeing is a trend among the major sending countries to considering other alternatives."

This has many people turning to different countries with shorter wait times and, hopefully, a lower chance of interruption in the proceedings, said Sheryl Naylor, an adoption social worker with Christian Adoption Services in Rocky Mount. The agency recently signed a contract with Liberia to begin adoptions there.

"The truth is, there are children that need homes. There are over 143 million orphans worldwide that need homes, and I think Christians especially need to answer that call," Naylor said.

Heather and Avery Moore already had two biological children when they decided to adopt in Africa. Ethiopia was their first choice because of its shorter waiting time, established system for adoption and the Moores' knowledge of its impoverished people.

"For me, the famine that happened in Ethiopia in the '80s was on TV constantly. I was a kid then and it just got my heart, and I have never forgotten about it," said Heather Moore of Rocky Mount.

But when the couple hired what they thought was a reputable agency, a process that should have taken a few months stretched into 18 months, Moore said. It was their first adoption, so they didn't know what kinds of questions to ask or what they needed to do to make sure the agency was doing its job.

The process was difficult at times, but the result was more than worth it, Moore said. It has been just over a year since the Moores adopted siblings. Their son, Yosef, is believed to be about 10 years old, and their daughter, Mihret, they think is about 6.

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The Millers knew about programs with other countries, but they wanted Connelly to have a sibling from China who she could better relate to, Miller said. Having started the paperwork for a second adoption in February, it now seems easier to be content with the three children they have rather than start all over with another country.

"Knowing the type of life that we have given our daughter and thinking about where she started in an orphanage, it is absolutely heartbreaking knowing how we could change another child's life and that it is not going to happen," Miller said.

Officials in China say the delays are due to staff shortages, major changes to their adoption law in 2007, that there are fewer orphans for Americans to adopt because Chinese citizens are being encouraged to adopt domestically and people from other countries are waiting as well, Johnson said.

In Russia, a decrease in adoptions followed a shift in the responsibilities of certain ministries and the implementation of a new procedure requiring private groups to register, Johnson said. Things are slowly getting back to normal in there.

There have been short-term moratoriums in the Ukraine, and one in Nepal for almost a year, Johnson said. Slowdowns in countries such as South Korea have nothing to do with a moratorium.

"As South Korea prospers economically, they create a lot of incentives within the government to encourage domestic adoptions, to encourage Koreans to adopt children," Johnson said.

The roster of countries Americans adopt from will probably change even more since the United States ratified the the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption on April 1, Naylor said. The global treaty was designed to curb abuses such as child trafficking, to regulate adoption agencies better and to improve communications between countries.

"We are thrilled that (the treaty) has implemented this new policy. ... Maybe it is a temporary problem that couples are facing now in terms of getting their child home, but I think in the end it is going to benefit everybody," Naylor said.

Christian Adoption Service became a treaty-accredited agency in March, Naylor said.

The convention's regulations govern all adoptions in countries that are party to it, making it illegal to adopt in places that have ratified the treaty but are in violation of its laws, such as Guatemala, Naylor said. However, Americans still will be able to adopt from countries not part of the convention.

Some countries, such as Columbia, Brazil, Mexico and the Philippines, have said they would be interested in working more closely with the United States when it complies with the convention, Johnson said.

Regardless of whether her family can adopt another baby, Miller said her opinion of adoption has not changed. To her it is still a great choice.