Newburyport: From Ethiopia, with love; three families adopt children from same orphanage

Published: February 11, 2008 12:04 am

Newburyport: From Ethiopia, with love; three families adopt children from same orphanage

By Katie CurleyStaff Writer

NEWBURYPORT — Tracy Neff still gets teary-eyed when she thinks about the first time she saw her daughter.

"I met her in a tiny orphanage," Neff said. "I met her birth mother and siblings; there was a lot of sobbing between the two of us (mothers). When she met me, she said, 'I'm her mother and you're her mother. We are a family now.'"

And then, like two other Newburyport families, Neff and her husband, Erik Lustgarten, of Prospect Street, were permanently bound to the city of Addis Ababa in Ethiopia.

Neff and Lustgarten are among many families in the Newburyport area who adopted from Ethiopia through the Wide Horizons Adoption Agency based in Waltham.

The agency runs the Horizon House in the Ethiopian capital for children who have been orphaned or given up by families too impoverished to care for them.

The agency estimates 100 children have been placed in the care of families residing in Newburyport, Amesbury, Salisbury and Seabrook over the past few years.

Neff and Lustgarten decided to adopt Zari, now almost 3, after having trouble conceiving a second child.

For single mother and reading specialist Cynthia Curtis of Charter Street, deciding to adopt her now almost 3-year-old daughter Beylan came as an epiphany.

"I realized I wanted to become a mother and that it is not contingent upon meeting someone," she said.

Curtis, who arrived at the orphanage just four days before actress Angelina Jolie adopted her daughter Zahara from the same place, was surprised by the emotions she felt the first time she saw Beylan.

"It's such an intense and personal, intimate experience, and you come home and it's a culture shock being a first-time mom," Curtis said. "It was also strange that four days after coming home, the place I was at was all over People magazine."

With celebrities like Jolie choosing to adopt, agencies such as Wide Horizons have benefited from increased exposure and interest in international adoptions. Wide Horizons represents children from a variety of countries, including Russia and Korea, with different specifications for each country. Most programs offer adoptions to single women and couples in some programs up to age 55.

Kristin Fudge and her husband, Peter Baisley, of Purchase Street have been home with their new son only seven weeks, but already they are settling into a routine. The couple had previously adopted their almost 5-year-old daughter Isabella from Russia but were drawn to Ethiopia for their second adoption.

Their 21/2-year-old adopted son Ashagre, which means "to bridge and connect" in Amharic, has done just that to their now multi-cultural family.

"He's just so cute and personable that everyone that sees him comes up and talks to us," said Fudge, a special education teacher in Somerville. "He's actually helping me become more connected to the community."

The U.S. State Department has seen a drastic increase in adoptions from Ethiopia, where an estimated 400,000 children are orphans, due in large part to famine.

In 2002, 105 children were adopted from Ethiopia; in 2006, 736 children were adopted by U.S. citizens, according to State Department statistics.

"The ones in the orphanage are really the lucky ones in the process of adoption," Curtis said.

All three families experienced minimal wait times typical of the Ethiopian program, once lengthy paperwork was completed. From the time Neff first put in her request for a 24-month-old girl until the time she received a referral for Zari, only 18 months had passed, she said.

Curtis said once her paperwork was done, it took three to five months before receiving her baby's paperwork and picture.

Fudge filed her request in June and had her son at home in late autumn.

While one may think raising an adoptive child in a community void of racial diversity would be challenging, the three families integrating their children into the community say it has been relatively simple.

"As we get more into family life we will certainly meet other families who have adopted. I think it's more important to just be a family right now rather than being a 'multi-cultural family,'" Fudge said.

Neff has noticed people staring but has been surprised by the lack of questions.

"That will be a concern going forward, how to incorporate diversity into her life. We get stares from all different people, but in general, people are polite about it," Neff said.

It is hard for Neff to think of her daughter Zari's origins when she sees her outspoken and energetic little girl dressed in pink and drawn to anything sparkly. Integrating Zari into her family and introducing her to her biological son, Trace, 5, was not always easy.

"It was hard at first, but now he enjoys being a big brother. They play together and it's very cute," Neff said. "He adores her."

The culture of Ethiopia has taught Curtis to embrace help from others, especially as she raises her child as a single mother.

"It's been very do-able," she said. "I rely on baby sitters more than married people, but I've been welcoming and accepting of support. The whole 'it takes a village to raise a child' is really the sense you get from being in Ethiopia," Curtis said.

"She (Beylan) was raised for three months in a Third World country and she survived, so sending her off to day care hasn't been hard or leaving her with a baby sitter. I know I can't be the only one."

Fudge is currently working on a Web site that will sell scarves handmade by a guard who works at the Horizon House, from which all three families found their children.

Two hundred scarves will be brought to the United States to sell locally; the proceeds will be sent back to Ethiopia for aid at the orphanage. The store, Fluke, Finds and Friends, will be selling the scarves once they arrive.

As the families settle even deeper into family life, they plan to participate in groups that connect people who have adopted and will incorporate the culture of Ethiopia in each child's life. Also as part of Wide Horizons protocol, an Ethiopian representative comes to the United States to meet with the children each year and make sure they are being cared for, Curtis said.

Neff is planning a trip to Ethiopia once the family hits the five-year mark of being home.

From figuring out how to care for hair to understanding why Fudge's child has a problem sleeping alone (in Ethiopia, families sleep in one bed), the families are figuring life out one day at a time but are certain they are all bound to the country their children came from.

"Everyone has their own path that calls to them. On a 30-hour plane ride I thought there were children a lot closer that I could have adopted," Curtis said. "But my child came into this world in Ethiopia. I just had to find her there."

For more information on "flower scarves," visit the Web site www.newflowerscarves.com.

http://www.newburyportnews.com/punews/local_story_042000423.html