Every child has a right to love

Herald Journal

December 26, 1988

When the Ciaypool family sat down to a festive meal two days ago, 30 guests shared the holiday spirit with them. The Claypools invited these men and women to their home in Baltimore in orderto thank them for their help all year. But in this season of giving. no doubt each guest was thinking about how much he had received from the Claypools. For the Claypools are no ordinary family. At their head is Norma, 58. who over the last 21 years has adopted 10 handicapped children no one else wanted, most of them babies and toddlers. And Nomia Claypool is blind.

I visited the Claypools as they were preparing for the holiday. The children (currently eight of them) were all talking excitedly-—and at once--about the presents they hoped to get. “I think they're going to burst if they have to wait much longer for Christmas to arrive," said Norma, a petite, agile woman who laughs easily. While there were still gifts to be shopped for and wrapped. clearly Norma already had given these children something special—the chance to be part of a family.

“Every child has a right to a home and a quality life and a family's love while they‘re here," she said.

Norma is aware of the obstacles handicapped children face—and what they can accomplish with good help. When she was 2, her eyes were removed in order to treat a malignant brain tumor.

"My mother, a 4-foot-9 ball of ?re, would never let me feel sorry for myself or accept any limitations," Norma recalled. "She constantly drilled into my noggin: 'Youcando anything you want."'

After graduating from a school for the blind in Pittsburgh, Norma worked her way through the University of Pittsburgh in 2 1/2 years, graduating magna cum laude. She then became a special-education teacher and a consultant to groups for the handicapped in the Pittsburgh area,

while earmng a master's degree and completing course work toward a doctorate in special education.

In 1967, she was asked to evaluate a blind 20-month-old baby, Elaine, who seemed retarded. Abandoned by her parents, Elaine was being kept at a home for unwed mothers. “She was so pitiful," Nonna recalled. "All she would do was sit motionless in a comer of her playpen. She wouldn't walk or talk."

‘ I began taking her home on weekends and then for more extended stays,“ Norma continued. “We bonded almost immediately. I felt that all she needed was a mother's love and care. and she'd be ?ne. l decided I'd adopt her"

The social-services agency balked "They were bothered by my ‘advanced‘ age, by my being single. that l was working and that l was blind." said Norma,  “But l wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. I was perfectly capable of being a good mother. That baby needed me '

She took the case to court  Within a year, she won permission to adopt Elaine.

Now 23, Elaine is taking several classes at a nearby community college in Baltimore. Between them, Elaine and Norma do everything from cooking to cleaning to organizing activities and maintaining discipline.

"Elaine has brought so much joy to my life," said Norma "She has blossomed into a wonderful woman. I don't know what to do without her. She's like a second mother to the kids.

"After Elaine, l knew that l wanted more and more children You can't have enough of a good thing.", Norma laughed, then added seriously. I've almost always met with resistance when I've tried to adopt, but I usually end up getting the child. l don't give up. No child should have to live in an institution."

As she talked, Norma cradled 9-month-old.Jamie in her arms. “This will be Jamie's first Christmas with us," she said.

Jamie, who is Chinese, was bom with a dis?gured face and with half of his brain missing.

“His parents didn't want him," she said matter-of-factly. “A social-services agency called and asked if l‘d take him.

l said, ‘Of course.‘ They said he would die shortly after birth. and that even if he did live, he would be so profoundly retarded. he'd never move or do anything. But Jamie must not know this.

He's totally age-appropriate in his development. Can you imagine what he could do if he had the other half of his brain?"

In 1981, Norma retired from teaching to devote all her time and attention to raising her family.

“l know a lot of people wonder how l manage." she said. “But it's really just a matterof having priorities. My kids come first—always. Money is always tight.

we live on my retirement income and the children's Supplemental Security income, which also covers most of their medical expenses. But we always get  by somehow."

Over the years, family friends have dropped by the Claypool home to administer medicines and to drive Nomia and the children to the hospital or market.

These are the friends who are invited to join the Claypools forafeast every Christmas holiday. “It means a lot to them— and to us—to spend Christmas here."

Norma said. "A lot of those who join us for Christmas don't have anybody and otherwise would spend Christmas alone They all love children. but some never get to be around kids except when they ‘re with us. I think having them over has taught the children a lot about giving and shanng. The biggest gift the children could possibly give them is attention."

Norrma's son Richard. 10, whom she adopted at 13 months. came over to hold his baby brother. “l understand what he's going to go through," said Richard as he rocked Jamie. Richard is blind, and he too was born severely dis?gured. He already has had 18 operations. Soon Jamie

will begin undergoing reconstnictive surgery as well.

“Richard's IQ measures in the supenor-intelligence range,“ Norma said, “and he is exceptionally mature for his age. When you go through as much pain and as many operations as he has. you either fall apart or you grow up real fast.

"I won’t let any of my kids feel sorry for themselves. After Richard's last surgery, even he became discouraged. He said, ‘I don't care how I look or what other people think. I don't want any more operations. It hurts too much.‘ And I said, ‘It's up to you. God can use you any way at all. But I'm not sure he can use you as well if peo?le are always more busy staring at you t an they are listening to you. And think of Kenny. He'd be so proud of you if you kept going.‘ "

Norma adopted Kenny, who had Down‘s syndrome when he was 7 months old. He died of an inoperable heart condition at age 9. “Kenny and Richard were inseparable—the best of friends," Norma recalled. “Richard looked up to Kenny. He had an indomitable spirit. His illness caused him excruciating pain, but Kenny never complained or felt sorry for himself. And a few days later. Richard said to me, ‘I guess I can put up with a

few more operations.‘ “

Like Richard. most of the other Claypool children are contending with extreme handicaps. Gayle. 2. was born with only part of a brain. Nine-year-old Tommy. on the other hand. was born perfectly healthy but—as a result of constant and severe beatings by his natural mother—now is severely retarded and has cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Kevin 7. the newest member of the family. was bom with fetal alcohol syndrome. There's also Dawna. 6. who has Do\vn‘s syndrome. and Daniel. 9. who is emotionally disturbed and usually acts as though he‘s

blind and deaf.

“All the children I've adopted have bonded very quickly.“ Norma told me.

“It's as if they were meant to be together.“

Norma makes sure the Christmas holiday doesn‘t pass without her children learning what the season is all about.

"Every Christmas. each of my children gives away one of his or her toys that is in good condition to a needy family." she said. “'l‘here‘s nothing more dear than to give somebody something that's precious to you. This more than anything teaches them about the true meaning of Christmas—the spirit of giving."

“And each of them has his own special hymn , which I sing to them at Christmas.“ she added. "It's one of lots of little things I do to make each of them feel very special.

"I hope it isn't long before l have a chance to sing a hymn for Joey.“ Two-year-old Joey is a blind child living in an institution in the Philippines whom Norma has applied to adopt. “In other countries, handicapped children are treated even worse."she explained.“and are even more isolated and unwanted than they are here. We're keeping our ?ngers crossed that we'll get the okay to adopt Joey. There's always room in our

home for one more."

Norma gestured toward her family "Most people who meet me think I'm either a saint or an idiot. or perhaps a combination of the two," she admitted “I'm neither. What I do is not philanthropy. It‘s selfish. I always wanted a big family. I enjoy these children tremendously."

She paused, then added, “You know. I've often thought it is a blessing in disguise that I'm blind. Most people adopt children with their eyes. I adopt them with my heart."

"They're still human beings. no matter how handicapped or dis?gured or retarded. They're still children."