exposing the dark side of adoption
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My past legally erased


While the adoptees have to fight to access to their adoption records, I had access to mine at 11 years, only two years after my arrival. My adopters never tried to hide it from me, there was nothing to hide. My adoption record is only a piece of shit filled with falsehoods made up (legally) by an adoption agency and my birth certificate is also a piece of shit made up legally in the country of my purchasers.

My initial social history:

According to this document, I was born Nov 20, 1966, in an unknown place and was admitted to Holt from Saint-Paul’s Orphanage Jan 29, 1975. It says that I was abandoned but it doesn’t say when. Since there is no other information, it could have been at anytime between my birth and Jan. 29, 1975. By the way, my birthday is not Nov 20, 1966; I’m few months older and I was born in Seoul.

Actually, I arrived at the orphanage at the end of Jan 1975 (at 8 years old). What happened between 1966 and 1975? Holt erased my past.

My hojuk deung bon (family registration): In Korea, a hojuk is a family registry, which records births, deaths, marriages, etc.

In my hojuk, there is no information about my family. This is  an "orphan hojuk" made by the adoption agency (and the Korean government) to make me adoptable.

It is a legal document. "Legal" doesn’t mean true.  Legal doesn't mean ethical either but everyone involved in adoption has a different definition of ethical. 

“Legal” only means permitted by laws. My birth date is a false birth date made up by the adoption industry. My past between 1966 and 1975 has been legally erased to make me adoptable.

At the time my orphan hojuk was made, I knew the names of the names of my parents and my father was still alive.

At age 11, I didn’t know anything about “hojuk” or “orphan hojuk”; I didn’t even know about Holt or adoption agency. I read “Father: no record”, “Mother: no record”, “Birth place: unknown” with a false birth date and I cried. I felt a void in me, then I felt anger towards Korea and Koreans for rejecting me. I was ashamed of having been sold by my own people. It was the first time that I felt hatred, hatred towards Korea and Koreans for selling me.

While crying, I tried to explain to my A-father that I had a brother and two sisters; I told him everything that was written was a lie except my name. He yelled at me saying that there was no reason for me to cry. I stopped crying immediately. Later, we contacted the orphanage. The nun replied: “we are not involved in the adoptions; we only take care of children. Holt is responsible for adoptions.” Holt replied: “we have no other information.”

Then, I was called a liar for inventing a family or having too much of imagination about my past.

I had a family before being adopted. I became an orphan the day Holt put me up for adoption.

by kimette on Thursday, 03 July 2008