This question was asked on Y!A: How can we back out of this adoption? I feel kind of guilty...?
Unfortunately I was surprised by the additional information and will quote the parts that got my hackles up.
"We met the BM (Paige) though our minister, she's only 17 and seemed excited about us adopting the baby."
I hate the term birth mother with a vengeance and it's a term that I first heard of in 2004 after I found my son. To shorten it to BM is simply insulting as I immediately think of bowel movement. From a personal point of view I wanted to raise my son so abortion wasn't an option and adoption never crossed my mind. Regardless of my choice I chose to go through pregnancy because I loved my unborn child. Birth mother is a cold term to use. Mothers don't become pregnant just to provide adopters with a child.
Anyway the mother claimed to have been assaulted by her step father but the baby is obviously biracial. The step father can't be the father of the baby as he is Scandinavian.
"But while we feel sympathy we are at an impasse. We aren't prejudice at all, in fact some of our friends are black but my DH, DS and I all have blonde hair, fair skin and blue eyes. We were expecting this child to be the same, just like her parents. If we were to adopt this child everyone would know she was adopted or else think I cheated on my husband! Also the child would one day realize she didn't look like the rest of the family and may come to the conclusion they were adopted"