La Ronda's blog

This is in response to a recent comment made, found here: Educational programs and the adopted child's future

"Your child is cognitively delayed. It use to be called mental retardation." That is what doctor/psychologist told me from his battery of tests done on my 10 year old child. He was blunt and matter of fact, just a routine set of words I am sure he has told to many parents in his office. But this time, he was telling it to me. Nothing prepared me to hear those words. Nothing prepared me for what was to come.

I am an Amother, like so many others that was mentioned in the about post that Kerry made. My child was adopted at the age of 6, it was an ICA process. My child is sweet, gentle, graceful, elegant, athletic and artistic. Our child is a very beautiful child (not because we are her Aparents, but truly a very good looking child). School has been a struggle for all of us, more so for my child. Our child is well behaved at school, friendly and easy. Yet school was difficult for her. Teacher upon teacher would share how our child could not learn, nor able be on the same level as other children in the same grade. One teacher once told us "not to buy the child anything opulent, because the child would never be able to attain those on their own." (it was probably the worse thing I have ever heard a teacher say to a parent). Comments ranged from "your child is brain damaged" to "your child is a socio-path". Some teachers just ignored her and did not teach her, because she was ...unteachable.

In five years we hopped from school to school, from private to public to progressive to academic and all was the same. We caved when one teacher assured us that the child had severe damage and could not learn. This crushed me and my husband. How can this be? I cannot tell you how many hours of endless nights worrying about this, endless nights crying myself to sleep about what would our child's future by like. We finally went to a highly recommended psychologist who tested the child and gave us the above dire remarks:

"Your child is cognitively delayed. It use to be called mental retardation." That is what doctor/psychologist told me from his battery of tests done on my 10 year old child. He was blunt and matter of fact, just a routine set of words I am sure he has told to many parents in his office. But this time, he was telling it to me. Nothing prepared me to hear those words. Nothing prepared me for what was to come.

Just when you thought the entitled AP, Jessica O'Dwyer, who wrote a book about her ICA experience in Guatemala was enough (http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/48717), there is yet ANOTHER AP, this one with his own website that caters to APs in process from Guatemala, known as Guatadopt's Kevin Kruetner. The heydays of adopting from Guatemala are long gone, but nevertheless he just wrote a review or what he refers to as "a personal reflection" on the book "Finding Fernanda". If you can stomach it or...stay wake, read: http://www.guatadopt.com/archives/001147.html#001147

What really gets under my skin is the way in which Kruetner downplayed what occurred in Guatemala and then turned his book review into a platform where he could do damage control and reputation preservation. For instance, he writes:

"One of the things I did after Elizabeth (PAP) contacted me was to check with some of my contacts to see what they knew about this case. Two sources came back to me with the same story. They had heard that Mildred (Fernanda’s mother) had relinquished the children but then had tried to offer them to other attorneys for more money. These two sources had both been proven trustworthy in the past and had no known connection to one-another. So we’re talking two “independent” sources saying the same thing. One of the sources was the investigator referred to as “Pablo Hernandez” in the book. While I won’t divulge who the other was, I think it is important to say that it was not Susana, who by that point in time was pretty upset with Guatadopt. It is clear now that, for whatever reason, what they told me was incorrect. At the time, it seemed more plausible than the wild story portrayed in the newspaper, which by supposition indicted the sacred DNA sample sites. Elizabeth could confirm that my position if in fact this had been about a mother’s children going to the highest bidder, never once did I support anyone hiding the children or taking any action other than the attorney with the children brining them into the court system with full disclosure and transparency. And of course my position was irrelevant anyway.."

For the record, Susana Luarca (adoption attorney) was their main source of information for Guatadopt. She is now on house arrest in Guatemala for processing illegal adoption/child trafficking/ and falsification of documents.

Kruetner was the main writer of Guatadopt. He was to go-to-guy, the one MANY Prospective Adoptive Parents (his words) asked for advice and insight. He touted about his sources IN Guatemala, and yet now he feels as if his role and position is irrelevant?