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Dear Phantom Birthmother,

(reposted from here  I like am happy satisfied with this one.)

We need to talk.

I know you're not big on talking.  You've been the silent ghost hovering in the background all my life, your absence a constant presence.

Frankly, I would have preferred Banquo's Ghost, or King Hamlet.  They were explicable and helped move the plot along.  You have always been a cypher.  What did you want?

Nothing, I was told.  That's why you weren't there, after all.  I was told that I was an impediment to the life you wanted to live, a pothole in the road of your journey that you had sped on past and forgotten.  I was better off without you, I was told.

I really shouldn't spend much time thinking about you, I was told.  And I didn't.  Think about you, that is.  Not much.  As little as possible, and I'd stop myself whenever my subconscious tried to bring it up.

I always tried to follow the rules.  Would you have liked that in me?

Blog Post Roundup

I started a blog about my experience with adoptee abuse and promised to keep you in touch.  Here's highlights from the first six months.

Introduction

I hurt all the time, with a heartache that oscillates but never leaves.  There's no point in not talking about the pain now as it's not going to go away anytime soon, so I might as well blog about it.

PTSD Primer

PTSD has a way of robbing you of joy.

Link Roundup

I've talked about my childhood periodically in my other blogs.

On Searching, Anger, and Closure

People compliment me on my calmness is talking about these issues.  I'm not calm, I'm numb.

Goodbye Ground, Hello Freefall

Grandma's Experiences Leave a Mark on Your Genes

Your ancestors' lousy childhoods or excellent adventures might change your personality, bequeathing anxiety or resilience by altering the epigenetic expressions of genes in the brain.

By Dan Hurley|Tuesday, June 11, 2013

(from http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epige...)

[This article originally appeared in print as "Trait vs. Fate"]

Darwin and Freud walk into a bar. Two alcoholic mice — a mother and her son — sit on two bar stools, lapping gin from two thimbles.

The mother mouse looks up and says, “Hey, geniuses, tell me how my son got into this sorry state.”

“Bad inheritance,” says Darwin.

“Bad mothering,” says Freud.

For over a hundred years, those two views — nature or nurture, biology or psychology — offered opposing explanations for how behaviors develop and persist, not only within a single individual but across generations.

Extreme Tough Love

When adopted children are incorrectly diagnosed with attachment disorder, things can go very, very wrong.

By Kathryn Joyce

Last week in Ohio, a $2 million settlement was reached between the state’s Stark County and 11 current and former adopted and foster children whom county officials had entrusted to the care of a couple who turned out to be far from ideal parents. Almost nine years ago, in September 2005, the children were removed from the home of Michael and Sharen Gravelle, an Ohio couple in their late 50s, after child protection workers found children shut in cages made of wood and chicken wire. The cages were stacked like bunk beds and often either blocked by furniture or rigged with alarms so the children couldn’t get out. Inside them, the children slept on mats that smelled of urine. But when confronted by authorities—and later charged with a wide range of abuses—the Gravelles defended their methods, claiming that the children, who had conditions ranging from autism to Down syndrome, were “special needs,” and had to be protected from themselves and each other.

Madoc Hyunsu O'Callaghan


3 year old Hyunsu (aka Hyeonsu or Hyun-su) was adopted from South Korea under the new laws by Brian and Jennifer O'Callaghan in October 2013. He had a diagnosis of hydrocephalus. He died less than 4 months after his arrival in his adoptive home with a skull fracture, bleeding in the brain, eye hemorrhaging, trauma to his scrotum, and other evidence of blunt force trauma. Jennifer was out of town for several days leaving Madoc with his father Brian Patrick O'Callaghan, a former marine. Brian O'Callaghan has been charged with first-degree murder and child abuse resulting in the death.
Date: 2014-02-03
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father
Disabilities: yes

Placement

Location

Damascus, Maryland
United States
See map: Google Maps

Korean Twins re-united after decades!

Please tell me that I am not the only one who vomited green, gray glob after hearing this story.
It was described as a miracle.
Two young Korean girls are adopted by two different families at the same time, but alias they are re-united decades later.
Twins have a unique bond from birth. Separating them is a crime worst than lying on your home study.

The families keep track of each other via Facebook, sharing pictures of their adopted daughters.
One father said he noticed that the girls looked similar, and SUSPECTED that they were TWINS.

Hey bright one, and you did nothing about it.
So the happy separate families live their lives knowing it is a fraud.
Uggggg. The AP's are content that they have a child to call their own. Don't want to upset that beautiful apple cart, for the best interest of the child.

Shame on the Korean Adoption Authorities.
Split up a pair of twins and get twice the money.

These two have a life time of catch-up.
Another sad story of Adoption Corruption.

The Bio and Legacy of a Pound Pup

There was never a time I did not know I was adopted. In fact, there was never a time I did not feel different, not-quite-right, and not altogether like those around me. I have always felt like I was the outcast, the mixed mutt..the runt... the one who got chosen to live among strangers not because I was wanted, but because someone had to choose me, otherwise I'd be put down or left to die, whichever created less stir for the public.

I was born in 1968 in Newfoundland, Canada, a hot-spot for infertile Americans in want of a healthy white newborn who was "orphaned" by its unmarried and "unfit" mother. I was not born an American; I was manufactured to become one.

As an adult, I learned the facts surrounding my adoption story were nowhere near the "facts" my adoptive mother told me about my adoption history.

48 Hours: Tougher laws at hand for international adoption

At least 242,000 foreign-born orphans have been adopted by American families since 1999. The result has been tens of thousands of new beginnings. And each year, thousands of American families continue to travel overseas - sacrificing time, energy, and money - to save seats at this country's fabled table of opportunity for the many needy orphans in the world.

But as humane, generous, and loving as international adoption can be, if done right, it can also be driven by profit and cruelty, if done wrong. A “48 Hours” investigation explores the controversial world of international adoptions, in which some overseas facilitators walk a fine line between adoptions and child trafficking.

The role of government, through both federal and state laws, is to protect the orphans, their birth families and the adopting U.S. families without being overly restrictive and also helping to promote the ability of U.S. families to adopt. It has proven to be a difficult balance to strike.

Girl adopted by Zhuzhou couple

3 year old girl was beaten to death by her adoptive mother surnamed Yi. Father's surname not released. The family had been reported for abuse previously. This was a domestic adoption in China.
Date: 2013-12-10
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive mother

Location

Lusong District Zhuzhou, Hunan
China

Russia launches criminal inquiry into U.S. child trafficking

Reporting by Alexei Anishchuk; Editing by Douglas Busvine and Mark Heinrich
December 5, 2013 / http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/12/05/us-usa-childexchange-russia-id...

(Reuters) - Russian federal investigators have launched a criminal probe into suspected child trafficking in the United States following a Reuters investigation which found that adopted children, some born in Russia, were being traded on the Internet.

The Investigative Committee opened the case after the reports found "adopted Russian children being transferred to different families in breach of their rights", spokesman Vladimir Markin said in a statement on Thursday.

The Reuters investigation uncovered an underground market where desperate parents sought new families for children they had adopted but no longer wanted.

Parents connect through online forums on Yahoo and Facebook, privately arranging custody transfers that can bypass government oversight and sometimes violate the law.

Markin said that 26 Russian children had been among those traded through such forums. Some later became victims of sexual abuse.

Swedish Pedophile Allowed to Adopt Child

By: K. Elsner / guardianlv.com

A convicted pedophile is now allowed to to adopt a child, Swedish newspaper The Local reports. The man was convicted in 2004 for sexually abusing his neighbor’s five-year-old daughter, and he is also suspected of raping a 14-year-old girl. He now has permission to adopt his 10-year-old disabled stepson after the death of his wife.

The man is in his sixties and has been previously found guilty of over 90 crimes, most of them related to fraud. It is reported that he is known to chat with young girls online.

The social affairs committee in the man’s municipality says that his risk of criminal relapse is low. Nine out of the ten members on the committee voted to approve his adoption application. These ten people did not get a chance to read over the details of his alleged crime when they voted, so they were unaware of his full history as a pedophile.

Ten year old girl in Newcastle

A ten year old girl in foster care in Newcastle NSW reported she was indecently assaulted by her 57 year old foster father. He was charged with three counts of aggravated indecent assault.
Date: 2013-11-23
Placement type: Foster care
Type of abuse: Sexual abuse
Abuser: Foster father

Location

Newcastle, New South Wales
Australia

Girl adopted by a Malaysian couple

Girl adopted at age 4 was beaten into a coma and subsequently died. Both adoptive parents have been arrested.
Date: 2013-11-19
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father, Adoptive mother

Location

ALOR SETAR, Kedah, xx
Malaysia

Pentagon launches major child abuse study

While this article is about all child abuse, not limited to abused adoptees, I think this study is much needed, I've noticed an uptick in abuse cases where a parent is a career military member
----

Pentagon launches major child abuse study
Nov. 16, 2013 - 03:10PM

By Richard Sandza
Staff writer

The Defense Department’s newly organized child abuse working group will conduct a rapid review of child and domestic abuse and will issue its first report in February.

The group project, which will last a year, was ordered in light of revelations of widespread child abuse in the services.

Two “rapid improvement events” are planned. An initial study to begin this month will focus on child abuse and neglect. A second will look at domestic and intimate partner abuse starting in January.

Boy adopted by a British Columbia man

A boy was sexually abused by his adoptive father, a 43 year old Lower Mainland area man. The man had previously helped build an orphanage in Mexico and mentored vulnerable children through Big Brothers. The man had extensive child pornography in his home and the abuse was discovered as a result of the Project Spade international porn bust.
Date: 2013-01-01
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Sexual abuse
Abuser: Adoptive father

Location

Lower Mainland area, British Columbia
Canada
See map: Google Maps

Raymond Godwin and Nightlight Christian Adoption recipient of Demons of Adoption Award

Since 1995, the month of November has been designated as Adoption Awareness Month. We at Pound Pup Legacy try to contribute to this commemoration, by raising awareness for abuse in adoptive homes, disrupted adoptions, violated parental rights, child trafficking for adoption, and other horrors in adoption.

The start of Adoption Awareness Month also means the announcement of the recipient of the Demons of Adoption Award. Started in 2007, as a critique on the Congressional Angels in Adoption AwardsTM, the Demons of Adoption Awards have become an annual tradition, continued now for seven years in a row.

In September we asked our readers to nominate candidates, and many worthy contenders were added. In October we launched a ballot to collect the votes for each nominee. From the start, it was a very close race between two nominees: Raymond Godwin et al., and Children in Families First (CHIFF) - with the remaining entries trailing far behind.

There is great irony to the candidacy of adoption attorney Raymond W Godwin and his wife, director of Nightlight Christian Adoption in South Carolina, Laura Beauvais-Godwin. In 2010, the current President of The Heritage Foundation and at the time Senator of South Carolina, Jim DeMint, awarded the Godwins for a Congressional Angel in AdoptionTM.

The Angels in Adoption have never been awarded with much scrutiny into candidates. Silly, but otherwise benign, was the award by then Senator of Kansas Sam Brownback for his "precious wife" Mary Brownback, with whom he had adopted a child from Guatemala and one from China.

Much more seriously, Jerry Sandusky received an award out of the hands of Rick Santorum, a decision that needed to be reverted back in 2011, when it became clear Sandusky had molested several boys, including his own adopted son.

Senator Chuck Grassley, awarded Damien and Allonna Stovall with an Angel in AdoptionTM, in 2012. Six months later, the couple was charged with beating their adopted children with belts and wooden spoons, although those charges were later dropped.

In 2007, Representative Patrick Murphy determined an award should be given to Steven G. Dubin, whom at the time was under investigation for fraudulent adoption practices, and whose membership of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys was suspended, only three months after being lauded as an Angel in Adoption. Dubin was eventually disbarred in the State of Pennsylvania, October 31, 2012.

In 2005, convicted criminal, Representative William Jefferson, nominated one of his cronies Renee Gill Pratt, and a year later, Senator Johnny Isakson awarded Faith Allen, the former "savior" of Masha Allen, who abandoned her adopted daughter in Washington DC, the day after the Angel in Adoption gala.

That same year, Senator Orrin Hatch nominated Larry S Jenkins, a Utah attorney, who is involved in nearly every father's rights violation case over the last 10 years.

When it comes to using laws to lure women into relinquishing children out of state, without notifying fathers, Larry S. Jenkins has found his match. Raymond Godwin has figured out that the adoption statutes of South Carolina make such unsavory inter-state adoptions about as easy as they are in Utah.

Raymond Godwin and his wife Laura have been involved in two of the most contentious adoptions of 2013, known as the baby Veronica case and the baby Deseray case. Both cases revolve around interstate adoptions of Native American children from Oklahoma to South Carolina.

The baby Veronica case has been all over the news, especially since the case went all the way up to the Supreme Court of the United States, where a verdict was rendered in favor of the adoptive couple Matt and Melanie Capobianco.

Late September, the Capobiacos, at the time assisted by another of Jim DeMint's Angels in Adoption, attorney James Fletcher Thompson, were able to remove Veronica from the home of her father Dusten Brown, with whom she had lived the last two years.

The case of baby Deseray is just as interesting, although it lacks the sensationalism of going all the way up to the Supreme Court. In this case, Godwin originally cooperated with Angel in Adoption Mike Yeksavich, an attorney from Tulsa, Oklahoma, and Bado & Bado - a couple of adoption attorneys from Edmond, Oklahoma, who were publicly reprimanded for unethical practices by the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys - to place the child with Bobby and Diane Bixler, a couple in their 60s, of Irmo, South Carolina.

Baby Deseray was removed from Oklahoma without properly filing the Interstate Custody for the Placement of Children (ICPC) paperwork. As a result, Mike Yeksavich removed himself from the case, and subsequently attempted to halt the adoption of the baby to the Bixlers and demanded her return.

Four months after the removal of Baby Deseray, the Oklahoma administrator for the Interstate Custody for the Placement of Children (ICPC) applications, and Angel in Adoption, Michael A. Nomura, approved the paperwork for the child's adoptive parents, after the Bixlers had retained attorney Paul E. Swain, who sits on the board of Nomura's agency Heritage Family Services, Inc.

The Baby Deseray case is still in motion. At this time of writing, the girl is in temporary foster care, pending emergency litigation.

No matter how we look at these cases, what we see are multiple placements of the same children, all because an adoption attorney endeavors in, to put it mildly, legally adventurous practices.

Raymond Godwin, may have stayed strictly within the law, with the Baby Veronica case. While there may be difference of opinion on that particular issue, it is indisputable that the trajectory he chose for these two adoptions was legally complex, making it very possible that the adoptions would be contested.

Knowingly starting an adoption procedure that can reasonably be expected to be contested, is immoral. Adoption, when practiced, should increase a child's stability in life, not lower it. Raymond Godwin and his wife Laura knowingly created a situation that was potentially disruptive, and ended up actually being disruptive for two children. For that, they deserve to be recognized as Demons of Adoption.

We would like to thank all our readers for their nominations and for their votes, and it is our hope that the Demons of Adoption Award brings to light the more serious adoption issues that still need to be addressed throughout the year, not just during November, America's National Adoption Month.

The Adoption-Industrial Complex

Is U.S. domestic adoption about children or profit?

By Jessica Stites

November 4, 2013 / inthesetimes

Every few years, the horrifying details of a new scandal around U.S. international adoption grab headlines: children snatched from disaster zones, children “returned” from the U.S. to airports in their home countries with notes pinned to their clothes, children stuck in abusive orphanages overseas while their U.S. adoptions founder in a mass of red tape. We’re in such a moment again with the publication of Kathryn Joyce’s revelatory new book on international adoption, The Child Catchers, along with a recent investigation by Reuters into the practice of “rehoming”—quietly and extra-legally moving adoptive children with behavioral problems, often caused by abuse or trauma, to new families.

International adoptions: Kids older, have special needs

A new report says the climate has changed for international adoptions. Would-be parents need to be educated about kids who are older and likely have special needs to avoid "adoption dissolution."

By Sharon Jayson

October 30, 2013 / USAToday

Because a growing number of international adoptions involve kids who are older and have special needs, adoptive parents today need more support to avoid the kind of regret that can lead to abandonment, says a New York City think tank in a new report.

"The adoption world is changing and there are more and more kids entering adoption from difficult circumstances," says Adam Pertman, executive director of the Donaldson Adoption Institute. He is co-author of the institute's report, released Wednesday.

China Sees Decreased International Adoptions

October 28, 2013 / CRIENGLISH.com

Since China opened its doors to international adoption in the early 1990's, many thousands of children have left its shores to join families abroad.

UNICEF reports at it's height in 2004, 13.5 thousand children were adopted by parents overseas, but that number has plummeted to around a third as many today.

This has nothing to do with a lack of prospective parents or the number of orphans, both have increased, but it is down to stricter rules by governments.

CRI's Alexander Aucott has more.

In the mid-1990's, Henri and his wife, who live in Lyon, France, decided they would like to adopt a child.

After careful consideration they decided to look in China.

"Well I chose China because I was attracted by that country at the time, and I still am by the way, but it's a little irrational because I suddenly saw a picture of a little China girl who had been adopted and I said, 'that's what I want to do."

Lawmakers demand stop to parents giving away adopted kids on internet

By Megan Twohey

October 20, 2013 / Reuters

U.S. lawmakers called Tuesday for federal action to prevent parents from giving unwanted adopted children to strangers met on the Internet, and the Illinois attorney general urged Facebook and Yahoo to police online groups where children may be advertised.

The demands come as nations whose orphans have been adopted by Americans contend that the U.S. government isn't doing enough to stop the practice, known as "private re-homing."

A joint Reuters and NBC News investigation last month revealed an underground market where desperate parents seek new families for children they adopted but no longer want. The parents connect through online forums on Yahoo and Facebook, privately arranging custody transfers that can bypass government oversight and sometimes violate the law.

Boy adopted by Rachel Tipton and her husband

A 4 year old boy adopted from Ethiopia by Rachel Hatfield Tipton and Pediatrician Dr. Jimmy Tipton was beaten in the genitals with a wooden spoon by his adoptive mother. She has been charged with criminal abuse.
Date: 2013-07-12
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Non-lethal physical abuse
Abuser: Adoptive mother

Location

Jeffersontown (Louisville), Kentucky
United States
See map: Google Maps

Roma children in Europe case

Ethnic Roma children trafficked for adoption. Often from Bulgaria to Greece, but also from: Romania, Slovakia, Hungary, Albania and to: Italy, Austria, United Kingdom.
Date: 2005-01-01
Number of children:

Location

Greece

DEMONS, Hallow ghostly ghoul and other creepy humans disguised.

AAAAAhhhhhhhhh the nominees for the Annual Pound Pup Legacy Demon Awards scare the be Jesus out of me.
I want to vote but as I reviewed the nominees, I began to vomit and choke.
I came to realize that candy on Halloween, tainted with GMO's was very similar to adoption because it is also tainted with G M O's, or as I like to refer to as
                           God   Makes  Orphans...
 

Challenging time for Christian adoption movement

By David Crarey

October 25, 2013 / The State Journal

To many Christian evangelicals, their commitment to finding homes for the world's orphans is something to celebrate -- and they will, gathering at hundreds of churches across America to direct their thoughts and prayers to these children.

But the fifth annual Orphan Sunday, this coming weekend, arrives at a challenging time, and not just because the number of international adoptions is dwindling. The adoption movement faces criticisms so forceful that some of its own leaders are paying heed.

The gist: Some evangelicals are so enamored of international adoption as a mission of spiritual salvation -- for the child and the adoptive parents -- that they have closed their eyes to adoption-related fraud and trafficking, and have not fully embraced alternatives that would help orphans find loving families in their home countries.

Adoption: When God Comes Knocking and Calling

As a believer in God, and follower of Jesus, I have always found the rationale for adoption given by practicing Christians both amusing and hypocritical. I could never understand how God would "want" man to separate mother and child, simply because a society ruled by misogynists say an unwed pregnancy is unlawful. After all, when Mary found herself pregnant without a husband, at no point was she "counseled" by adoption facilitators and told it was in the best interest for the unborn child to be relinquished, and given to council-approved strangers, while she was to act as if the pregnancy never took place. Instead, Mary, the only mother of Jesus, was told to have faith; she was told support would be provided, through the assistance of a benefactor. That benefactor would be a man named Joseph, a man who would provide for Mary and her child, for 13 years. It should be noted, at no point during Jesus's time on earth did he ever claim Joseph was his father. Instead, Jesus (and Mary) recognized God as his only father.

Editorial: Utah adoption law wrongly discriminates against fathers

Utah adoption law discriminates

October 22, 2013 / The Salt Lake Tribune

Does a father have the same parental rights as a mother? Or does he only have the rights awarded to him by the state of Utah if he meets a lot of paperwork requirements prescribed by Utah law?

The Sutherland Institute, an ultra-conservative think tank, has taken the side opposed to protecting the rights of fathers because the institute’s leadership believes, above all, that a two-parent heterosexual household is the only good home in which to raise children. And if a father’s rights have to be sacrificed, well, that’s a small inconvenience easily taken care of by legislators.

What poppycock.

Lita Morgan

Adopted at age two, by Christine Morgan and her now deceased husband, Lita Morgan was systematically abused at the hands of her adoptive mother. She was forced to drink bleach from a cloth used to clean toilets and her head was held under the bath water until she couldn’t breathe. Christine Morgan also threatened to kill her adopted daughter, hit her on a regular basis, kept the girl locked in her room and dressed her in dirty clothes.
Date: 2012-10-31
Placement type: Adoption
Type of abuse: Non-lethal physical abuse, Non-lethal neglect, Non-lethal deprivation
Abuser: Adoptive mother

Location

Romsey, Hampshire
United Kingdom

How many APs/PAPs have watched "Girl, Adopted"?

Until Oct 29, there is a fantastic film documenting the adoption experience, as seen through the eyes of a young teen's point of view.

On worldchannel.org, the 1 hour 19 min film is described as:

Girl, Adopted is a contemporary coming-of-age story that follows Weynsht, a 13-year-old Ethiopian girl, from an orphanage in Africa to an adoptive American family in rural Arkansas. An irrepressible adolescent, Weynsht searches for identity in an effort to find out who she is in the aftermath of her adoption. The film follows her struggle for love among strangers and to understand what to make of this love on an unexpected return trip to Ethiopia.

Weynsht’s story offers a rare, child’s-eye view of being adopted across race and culture. Taking neither a pro- or anti-adoption stance, the film acknowledges the complexities involved and gives a real voice to the experience. The central question that Girl, Adopted asks is, "What is it like to get everything you need but to lose everything you know?"

Pattrick Henderson

Patt Henderson was 18 months old in 1973 when he was adopted in Panama by Edgar and Hedwig Henderson in 1973. The Hendersons were stationed in Panama on military assignment. One year later they returned to Ohio with Patt who was lived here since. Pattrick did not learn he was not a citizen until he tried to enlist in the Army. Then issues with paperwork minor legal skirmishes prevented him from obtaining citizenship.
Patt was arrested for missing an ICE court hearing when his friend's car broke down. (Patt cannot have a driver's license)

Status: In ICE Custody

Home state: Ohio

Country of origin: Panama

Status:

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