In Person Adult Adoptee Support Meetings
My name is Todd and I live in British Columbia, Ca on the island. I was adopted from birth and am pretty pissed off about the whole thing but in doing much research and soul searching I've established that there is no healing through my BFamily or my Afamily, friends, therapists, doctors, drugs, alcohol or any other such thing. The wound I carry I believe to be fairly unique to the adoptee specifically or at least closed adoptions in the sense we were taken from our mothers at birth to not see them for at least 18 years or ever again. Recently I have attended AA and feel that there are many similarities between the alcoholic and an adoptee. I feel a lot of my grief and past shames can be put to rest through that program but that primal wound is not going to go away with the rest so being the rather bright young chap that I am figured out that I will need other adoptees just like the alcoholic requires other alcoholics. I've looked for adult adoptee support groups but the adoption agencies don't fund them like they do for potential birth moms who they like to cultivate and brain wash. I know because I went to one of their meetings and was asked to never come back lol. Apparently I wasn't good for convincing moms to give up their children after getting to hear one of those children all growd up and pissed the eff off about it. Luckily for adoption agencies we're taught to keep our ungrateful little pie holes shut from a very young age because of the gratitude we should feel for being dumped by our moms and picked up by some sterile people yaaay hallalujah!!!
Anyways the point I'm trying to make is that I need other adoptees to talk to and share my triumphs, blunders, pains and tears with for me to heal. I don't think I'm going out on a limb here to say that some or even the majority of you do too. With help from wherever I can get it including the lovely people running this site I think we can make something happen to benefit all of us. The reason I know this can work is because it was looking for just such a group that I was dumbfounded that one doesn't exist yet besides online forums. It was the physical and spiritual bond between us and our mothers and families that was taken and although reading similar stories helps, I need a physical community of my bastard brothers and sisters and so will our young counterparts being born today and many years from now. Adoption isn't going away no matter how hard you rant and rave about our human liberties and today I'm accepting the things I cannot change and having the courage to change the things I can for our people. Sound hokey I know but I think it's true and lets face it we all have a bond almost as huge as the one we were ripped from. Thoughts, Comments and suggestions are greatly appreciated from adoptees; not really interested in what the rest of the triad has to say thanks.