THE STORY - Tyler Liberian Children
On this page you will read the entire situation as it has occurred over the past 4 years. Many accounts are taken from the diary of a major witness. This witness has testified in court. We are striving to lay it out in a factual manner from the initial adoption in Liberia to present day. If you have any facts to add, we can provide the names and numbers of an attorney for the children. Thank you.
WARNING: This account becomes graphic and disturbing as it emerges.
Approximately 4 years ago (2005), a local couple received help with fund raising from a very well meaning local church for the purpose of international adoption of five sisters from a Liberian orphanage (The West African Children Support Network). The mother of the girls had died in child birth with the last child and their father found it terribly difficult to provide for the children in this war torn country plagued with disease and parasites; he gave up his own children to assure them a better life. The couple flew to Liberia with money, one or two letters of recommendation and returned with the five girls from this orphanage - WACSN.
People from the church and people in this small rural community in Oklahoma were excited for the children and offered assistance. The couple insisted on home schooling and a retired school teacher offered to help. She was in their home and the girls were in her home many times for instruction, coloring Easter eggs, baking cookies and other tasks that all children take part in. The girls developed a relationship with this lady and began to open up to her. Their growing fear of their older adoptive sister and mother became apparent. When the second born girl was not allowed to visit on several occasions, this woman made inquiry of the girls as to whether or not she was sick. She was told that the girl could not come because she was being punished.
August of 2006: They welcome my help in home schooling. I usually go 3 - 4 mornings a week. This adoptive mother is quite demanding of the girls: sit straight, hold pencil correctly, print perfect or you do it over and over. On one occasion, I heard her upstairs spanking the second born child because she could not do the lesson. She was crying and whimpering. I tried to tell the mother I thought the child could have some learning problems. At first, I was allowed to do things with the girls but, as time went on, she imposed more restrictions. I believe she thinks I am too easy and encourage them too much. I praise them for their work.
Mid November 2006: I am getting a feeling that something is not right in this home.
December 2006: 1. I made peppernut dough so the girls and their mother could make peppernuts. Because the second girl had not done her math correctly she had to stay in the sunroom and work on it. In my professional opinion, the math was far above her level of learning. 2. I had the girls over to my house, one day before Christmas for a day of fun and gave them Christmas presents. The second sister did not get to come because she was in trouble. 3. One day this month, their mother was going to town to take three of the girls to the doctor. I offered to keep the other two or to go along with them to help with the girls. Their mother wanted me to go along. I would take the girls to the mall and movie while the mother did some shopping. The girls commented that this was their first time at the mall. The second girl did not get to come along that day; she was in trouble again. She went to work with her father. She is 9 years old and he works in the construction trade. 4. A few days before Christmas, the family came caroling to our house and brought small gifts. They were all present except for the second girl. I found out later, when she told me how scared she had been, that she had to stay home alone.
After Christmas 2006: I went back to the home for the first time and was told the girls had a handle on their education and I should help someone else. I felt the girls looked forward to seeing me and believe I was one of few people, outside the immediate family, that the girls had contact with. I went back the next day to offer help 2 days per week and said that would give me time to help others. This would be acceptable. By now, the only thing I was allowed to do was read library books to them. I was given lots of books on slavery to read.
On or around January 25, 2006, I fell and broke my arm. Later, I asked their mother if the two older girls could come and help me out around the house and visit. When they arrived, the second girl was not present again; the third born came in her place. The oldest stated her sister was in trouble again. For the next 4 to 6 weeks they came to visit and help but they always had stories to tell about the second girl being in trouble - or they themselves. When my arm was doing better, I invited all 5 girls to visit and they all were present.
April 4, 2007 The girls are coming. I had a day planned to do Easter things: eggs to color, coloring book pages for Easter and an egg hunt with prizes in the eggs. The second girl did not get to come because she had been sent to her room without supper the night before. She was hungry and stole a cookie and lied about it. Her punishment was to stay outside all night without food. She had to sleep outside with only one blanket and it was pretty cold - around 40 degrees. When the girls came the next day, I was told she was still outside. Two of the girls were in tears over the situation and one commented that she would sure like to run away.
May 3, 2007 The oldest girl called on Tuesday to see if they could come because mom and sister were going to town. I said sure. They came, without the second sister. She had to go with her father to work. Once again, the girls did not get supper and this girl snuck up the stairs to the kitchen to get a cookie and the son caught her and told his mother. Punishment was no food for 12 days (she was to go on a fast to "get the bad spirits out of her"). And since she steals and they can't trust her they had a rope around her wrist with a stick and she was tied to a chair during the day and she was not to talk. She needed to go to the bathroom, but since she was not to talk she peed in her pants. At night they tied both hands to the bed. The oldest girl said she needed to go to the bathroom and she was afraid to untie the rope, because she would not be able to tie it the same as her father had and if he found out she had untied it she would also be in trouble. So the oldest girl got a jar for her sister to pee in. She flushed it down the toilet and rinsed the jar and put it back on the shelf. The oldest also made sure her sister was covered because she was cold, but uncovered her early in the morning so they wouldn't know that she had covered up.
The few times this child has been at my place she always tells me to please pray that she won't make her mom mad at her. She said that mom told her that if I do one more thing she will call the police or dump me on the side of a country road and leave me.
The girls say they wish they could run away.
Their mother has told her that she will kill her and put her on the road and someone would hit her and they would blame the person in the car.
Don't lie - One time the mother hit this child lip with a rake and she said mom said if you ask about it tell you I fell.
They always tell the girls they will send them back to Liberia if they don't mind. The oldest girls says she wish they would. These threats really scare her. She is very upset about the way they are treated, but mostly about her sister. They say degrading words to all of them. Stupid, ignorant. The oldest said I don't know how many times we have gone without food.
Knowing all this I went to several couples that had been friends with them and asked what they thought. Through our visiting together we decided that three of us would go up on Sunday afternoon to visit with them.
May 5, 2007 We went and I just told them we were concerned for the second born girl. That she always seems to be in trouble and that she was not getting to eat for 12 days. They tried to justify that by saying she was getting juice after 3 or 4 day and then some carrot juice and broth. They feel like satan has control of her and they are trying to get him out. One of us then mentioned that she had heard that this girl had to sleep outside one night when it was really cold. The couple looked at each other and then said yes she had, but they had gone to check on her many times. Again they told us we did not know what they were dealing with concerning these Liberia girls.
One of us also brought up the fact that if her son took a cookie she would not consider that stealing. They just said it was more than that. There was defiance and many other things involved. The father did say that he could see from an outsiders view it could look a bit severe, but they have to do what they have to do to get through to this child.
We told them we would be happy to help in anyway we could. They said they were doing just fine now. I told them I would really like to see the girls go to Sunday school and our Wednesday night childrens program, but the mother said she wasn't even going there to discuss it. When we left, the other two of my companions felt that it had been a friendly visit and we told them we were just concerned and wanted to help. I could see in the adoptive parents eyes that they were very upset about us coming. After that visit, I never got to see the girls again and they only came to church once after that in June of 2007.
May 14, 2007 I called to see if the girls could come. The mother was not friendly and said they couldn't because they were practicing for a concert in a neighboring town.
May, 2007 I went to the concert. The girls would not even look at me. I had to talk up to get a hug. I think the girls were scared to make eye contact with me. I took cookies, banana bread and zwieback and a birthday gift for one of them. She did walk to the car with me to get these things.
May 15, 2007 I called a lady who is neighbor and friend to this family and has been called "grandma" by the two natural children, to see what she thought. She didn't seem to know or think that anything was going on. The girls call her grandma and they do get to to to her house once in awhile. She is about 80 years old.
May 22, 2007 I called again to see if the girls could come to my house; the father answered. He was very cold and unfriendly. He said they could not come and I told him I was really sorry to hear that. I told him I really enjoyed having the girls at my home. He said since we did not see eye to eye he did not know how they could let the girls come again. I said I didn't think we disagreed all that much. I told him I was just concerned about some of the discipline they had bestowed on the girls. I said I believe in discipline, but not as severe as they did. He also said I was allowing the girls to watch TV and movies all day, which I denied. I told him that I had asked his wife the very first time they came if they could watch TV and maybe a movie and she had said yes. He also told me that I was in the wrong not to come and visit with them first (alone), instead of coming with two other people. He said that the Bible says that we are to go to the brother that we have a problem with. I told him I had only gotten some advice from people that had some contact with them. He said I was very wrong in doing that. He said they were very upset with me over that.
I told him I sure didn't understand why, we as a church were not good enough for them now. I said before you got the girls we were okay and for a short time after they got the girls, but that now that we as a church had helped them financially and in many other ways get the girls and had time invested in this, that we are not good enough. He was sorry I felt that way, but he said again that none of us had ever dealt with Liberian children. Se we hung up. He also said he was responsible to God in how these girls turned out and that is why they are doing what they are doing. I then said he sure was responsible to God in what they were doing.
June 7, 2007 I went up to their home to give the second born her birthday gift. The mother was gone. The oldest Liberian girl was working in the garden and I asked her when I drove up if her mom was home and she said no. I asked about the natural daughter and she said she was there. This Liberian girl quickly went to the back door. I knocked on the front door and the natural daughter came and closed the door behind her. I asked if I could see the girls and she said no. Her parents did not want me to see them. I asked why and she said I would have to talk to them. She did not want to discuss it. She was very adamant about me not seeing the girls. The youngest was behind the door and kept crying and saying my name. Then this natural daughter went in the house and closed the door in my face. She was very hateful toward me. She had her arms crossed as she spoke to me.
I then went over and sat on the patio chair for about 5 minutes and prayed for that family and the situation. (In Aug. 2008 the second born told me that their adoptive sister was so mad that I sat on the patio that she said "If she doesn't leave I am calling the police." The oldest girl also took the second from the youngest to the library room so she could see me get in the car.) The second born told this to me after she was out of the home.
Late December 2007 or early January 2008 The hot water heater broke at this house. The natural daughter kicked the water heater to make it come on and it broke, but she told her parents that the second born Liberian sister kicked and broke it. The girls were very scared for her and what her punishment would be the next day. They encouraged her to run to the neighbor they called "grandma" in the middle of the night. It was cold, but she went and talked to the lady for a long time after she got there around 3 a.m. In the morning her parents came to get her. That is were they thought she was or they made one of the other girls tell them. Who knows what her punishment was for running away. After this happened the neighbor lady began to really know that things are not okay at this family's home.
January 28, 2008 The second born girl called one of our church members and visited. It took about 3 calls from her before they had a good connection. She kept telling him I will call you back, but don't call me. She asked how they were and how his children were. She mentioned AWANA children's program at church and the hats they wore one time to AWANA. Before she hung up she asked for my number. She then called me from the shed around 5:30 p.m. She was in trouble and had to stay in the shed but they have a phone out there I guess and she called me like 4 times. She said she had been out there all day and only had water that day. She said I just can't please mom. They've taken my bed out and I'm sleeping on the floor under the table.
She was really upset because they told her that they were going to send her far far away and that she would never see her sisters again. She said I won't see my sister or you ever again. I asked where they were going to send her and she said she didn't know. She just knew it was far. She wanted me to come to their place. She wanted to come and see me before they sent her away. I told her that her parents would be really upset with her and me if I came. She said I just have to see you. I didn't know what to do. She called and we would talk for a little while and then she would say I have to hang up, but I will call you again. She also told me not to call her back. After these calls my husband and I talked about what we should do. We decided to call our pastor. We were thinking that if she was still in the shed we would see if they would let us take her with us and if they didn't we would call the DHS office.
Within the hour our pastor, my husband and I went up there. They were getting ready to eat. We introduced the new pastor. The father would not invite us in until pastor said may we come in. He then let us in and I proceded to introduce the girls to him. The second born was in the house. The father was sort of friendly, but the mother was not. Pastor made small talk with the father about the log cabin they live in. The mother was at the stove and had her back to us, but did not turn around. The girls just stood and watched. They were not sure what to do. I went over and hugged each of the girls. When I hugged the second born her clothes and hands were very cold. Her clothes were not very clean. She must of just gotten to come in the house. All the girls were very quiet, especially the second born.
They had not had supper. So finally pastor looked at me and sort of rolled his eyes and then said that since they were getting ready to eat that we would go. Se we did.
I am in shock that this Liberian girl figured out how to call and had the nerve to do it, because she is so afraid of her mother and getting into trouble. She told me she had called a member of our church first to get my number. I talked to him later in the evening and he wasn't sure how she figured out his number.
I wish I could have done more for her, but at least she feels she can call me and that has been one of my prayers and she does know that I will come if she calls and wants me to. It has been 9 months since I have had any contact with them, but she still felt like she could call. In my daily prayer for them it is that their mother will be good to them and that if they are in real trouble that they would feel comfortable calling me.
When they used to come to my house I would tell them that if things got bad they shoud memorize my phone number so they could call and I would come or they should go to the nearest house and call me to come and get them. Please continue to pray for this situation.
I sure have been hoping that she is okay today. We did not tell them that she had called, but I'm sure they asked her and she is too scared to lie to them. She may really receive punishment for this.
January 29, 2008 She called again. We talked for a little while when her father got on the phone. He said, "what has she been telling you? Everything she says is a lie. She lies, steals, cheats. Even her sisters don't want her here, because she disrupts our whole house." He sure hoped I would believe 2 Christian mature adults above this girl. I told him all I knew was that something did not seem right. He said I would send this girl out of the country if he could or knew where to send her. I told him I would be glad to take her for a month if she was causing him so much trouble. He said no. I said if she was so much trouble I'd like to have her and see what I could do and maybe I would understand the situation better. He told me I was one of their problems, because I was a busy body sticking my nose where it didn't belong. He also said he would have to answer to God if he didn't raise these girls right. I told him I would also have to answer to God if I thought there was a serious problem and I didn't do anything to help.
January 30, 2008 The church got an e-mail saying they were withdrawing their membership from the church.
After church, another member, my pastor and I met for a little while to discuss the situation. Pastor thought that maybe we should go up there one more time and tell them taht if they weren't willing to get counseling and things change we would call the DHS. After visiting a bit longer the other member felt like we would get no where because we've basically tried to visit with them and that we would all be willing to help them in anyway we could. They feel like they are right and we are all in the wrong and that we just don't understand what they are dealing with. Our final decision was to call the DHS office. The other member got out their cell phone and called. He left a voice message. He called me later and he and the DHS person are trying to schedule a time for us to meet.
February 3, 2008 We were to have a meeting at 10 a.m. at a church member's house. The DHS person called to cancel, since her computers were down and she had a problem in Cherokee she needed to take care of. She said it would really help her out if we could meet Tuesday, February 4th.
We met on Tuesday with Jason Hillman from the DHS office. We met at the other church member's house.
Thursday Feb. 7, 2008 The DHS still has not done anything. I'm beginning to be a bit concerned about that.
Today, I subbed at the grade school. At noon I sat across the table with one of the school aids. She is a long time friend. She asked me today if I knew what was going on with the second born girl. I said not really. She said well, I probably shouldn't tell you, because it is terrible. I said you probably can't out do some of the things I know. She was afraid if I knew I might go to the DHS, but I told her I had already done that. She then told me that a cousin of the mother was here from another state. They drew up some papers that gave this cousin custody of the girl and that they had a neighbor come to the house and notarize this paper. This cousin was taking the girl home with her today. She is working on becoming a foster parent, but she wasn't planning to keep her. She was going to take her to the DHS in Illinois or send her back to Africa. She also told me that they were having trouble with the oldest girl and if she didn't get her act together they would be sending her away also.
Back in January the family was having trouble with their hot water heater. So to get it to work you had to hit it or kick it. I guess the natural daughter kicked it and broke it but blamed it on the second born adopted girl and she was in big time trouble. That night it was really cold, but this girl walked 2 miles to a neighbor's house and got there at 4 in the morning.
This lady took her in and put her to bed. In the morning the adoptive parents noticed she wasn't there so they went to this neighbor's house to see if she was there. She had to go back with them.
I have called DHS again today. I told them that I think this is urgent. I'm sure this girl is really scared and not sure what will happen to her.
My friend called me this evening to tell me some things that the neighbor had told her. Supposedly this cousin took her to St. Louis. She is not a foster parent yet, but plans to become one. She plans to put the girl in the public school so they can see what a mess she is and that she doesn't learn. The DHS will be called in on this and they will maybe put her in an institution, or send her back to Africa.
Back in January when this child walked to the neighbor's in the middle of the night the girls had gotten together and told the second born she better leave. When the parents came to see if she was there in the morning they were really upset with the neighbor because she hadn't called them when the girl got there. Since then they have not had anything to do with the neighbor except to take her that paper to notoraize. This is the woman that their children called "grandma" for years.
They have seperated the two oldest girls from the other girls. Now they are not having as much trouble with the younger three. The oldest is now giving them problems and she is on probation and if she doesn't straighten out she will be sent away.
The neighbor says the girls have not come to her house for a long time.
The parents natural son has now bought acreage and has been going to the neighbor's for supper and to watch TV in the evening. He is staying nights at the little building on his land.
Sometimes the girls don't get to eat the same food that the parents and thier natural children get to eat.
They have told the second born girl that she is just like the father's oldest son who has moved away. We just need to send you back to Africa.
My friend says that they brought the girls here to work, because the mother is lazy.
I still have not heard from DHS. I don't think they have done anything about the situation.
Just continue to pray that they will investigate the situation. I would really like for them to remove the girls and have a visit with them. I just hope that the oldest and the third born won't be too scared to talk.
February 11, 2008 The neighbor lady that lives 2 miles down the road bought some valentine candy yesterday and took some to the girls. She was not sure she would be received. She said that the mother was sort of friendly. She told the mother she had some candy for the second born also and wondered if she could have the address so she could send it to her. She gave her the address and we have the name of the people. The neighbor told me these people are not licensed to be foster parents, but they are working on it. The neighbor said the 3 younger girls seemed pretty happy, but the oldest was very quiet when she was there.
This morning in Bible study there was a paragraph that really stuck out and sounded so much like what these adoptive parents are doing. I share it here: "Jesus is the author of connection. Satan is the author of isolation. The more our enemy takes us captive, the further we distance ourselves from healthy people. If we remain in captivity long enough our circle will get smaller and smaller. We'll finally begin to dispise (at the very least resent) the few in it with us. Ultimately we feel isolated even from the few until we're left with the feeling that we are entirely alone." Keep praying for the situation.
I understand that a lady from the DHS office went to the home of the adoptive parents and they would not let her in. She might have asked about the home schooling, but the mother would not let her come in and said that she would not talk to her without her home schooling attorney. (????)
February 12, 2008 Praise the Lord!!!! God is so good !!!! I just got off the phone with the second born girl. I talked to her for an hour. The lady she is staying with is the adoptive mother's first cousin. This lady called the neighbor lady here this afternoon and talked to her for a long time. The cousin said she is really upset with what is going on in that home. She said that this second born talked non-stop all the way home with her for 9 hours. The girl told her all kinds of stuff that they have done to her and her sisters. The cousin said she was sick over the whole ordeal.
The neighbor lady to the adoptive parents called to tell me that the cousin called and she gave me the cousin's phone number. I called and talked to her for a long time and then the girl. She talked and talked about terrible stuff that is going on. The child is so happy now. She said this cousin will ask her what she wants to eat for each meal and she fixes it for her. She said it is just awesome. She wants to talk to her older sister over the phone, but the adoptive mother will not let her.
This cousin has taken the girl to enroll in public school. She will start Wednesday Feb. 13, 2008 and go for a half a day to start with. They have enrolled her in 5th grade. She said everyone was so nice at school. She said the cousin took her to Wal-Mart and she could buy anything she wanted. She got clothes for school etc.
This cousin called the Oklahoma DHS Feb. 12th and told them that this is an emergency and that they need to get those girls out of that home. She said she had been there 3 days ( Mon. Feb. 4th till Thurs. morning Feb 7th) and she couldn't believe how they treated the girls. She said I saw it first hand and it is terrible.
This cousin also told me that they just have custody until May 31, 2008 and that the adoptive mother told the second born that she was working on papers already to send her back to Africa. This cousin says it would be over her dead body that they would send her back.
February 13, 2008 I talked with the cousin again for a long time. She is very frustrated. She asked if I would call the DHS office again and tell them anything I knew. She wanted me to talk to the head supervisor. She said she had not talked to her cousin, the adoptive mother, and did not plan to. She said I am so upset I have nothing to say to her. This was the girl's first 1/2 day at the public school. I had a few questions for this cousin:
1. What day did they call you to come and get the girl(s)? They called her in the middle of the night.
2. Did you leave their house with the girl on Feb. 7? Yes, we drove for 9 hours. This girl talked about how terrible they have been to her and her sisters.
3. Did you take her for a physical? Yes, she weighs 85 pounds at ten years of age.
4. What day did you call OKC DHS? She called them Tuesday Feb. 11, 2008
5. Did your cousins mom take her sisters children away from her to raise because she was too hard on them? Yes
February 14, 2008 I called and visited with a DHS employee. I told her that it has been 9 days since I reported the situation and I was becoming very concerned that they had done nothing. She reassured me that they were working on the case and that someone had been up there. She said she could not tell me much. I asked if this case was a priority and she assured me that it was. That it was just taking time.
I told her the girls were isolated - They have no way of contacting anyone. No one can go there to see them and find out what is going on. Jenniba was thrown against the door for calling me she said. They are hit with shovels, rakes, hose, pot, etc. No meals if they don't do exactly as they are told. Most of the time they don't really know what they have done wrong.
The neighbor was going to call the DHS this afternoon, but she was not able to talk to Sara.
Feb. 15, 2008 I talked to the cousin and the second born girl. She seems so excited about her new world and school. She was so excited about all the Valentine cards and candy she got from kids at school. She got a teddy bear as big as she is from the cousin's husband and 2 stuffed puppies. She also thanked me for the card, money and pictures I sent her. I sent her a picture of her sisters and our Chirstmas card of us.
This cousin said she had talked to the head DHS person in our county and another DHS person at her house. They talked in private with this cousin and then with the girl. This child told this DHS representative that she was not allowed to talk. She had been hit with a rake, shovel, water hose and with a belt across her back. This representative asked if she was scared and the girl said yes. Are your younger sisters scared and she said yes. This representative was polite at what she heard. The process of getting the rest of the girls out can not be done at this time, because the adoptive parents have hired a lawyer. It now will have to go to court. It will take a court order. How long that will take I have no idea. I hope not long. The cousin will have to come and testify as to what she saw while in the Tyler's home for 3 days. If the parents fight it and consent to help and counseling then the girls would probably have to stay in this county so they would have visitation with these parents. In my opinion, I can't imagine them being willing to get help. The think they are right in what they have done.
This cousin called the adoptive mother's mother and father that live in another state. She also asked about the situation with the adoptive mother's younger sister and kids. The parents of the adoptive mother said they had to hire a lawyer and go before a judge to get those children away from her. There was abuse.
The cousin is also trying to locate the adoptive father's oldest son from a first marriage. The adoptive mother was very abusive to him also, according to this cousin.
Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2008 The adoptive mother called the neighbor on her cell as she was coming home from a doctor appointment. She said that DHS was there and were taking the girls and was wondering if the girls could stay at her place. She said that I had called the DHS and told them all these lies about them and now they were in a mess.
When the neighbor got home, she called the mother back. The mother, the girls, the natural daughter and a DHS person came to her house. The natural daughter announced that she was also staying with the girls. This neighbor told her she could go home, but she would not leave. This uninvited guest then proceeded to tell eveyone where they would sleep. The neighbor put her foot down and said this was her home and she would decide where everyone would sleep. She was very upset that this daughter was there. The girls do not like her and she makes them very uncomfortable. Having her there kept the girls from talking to the neighbor. The DHS person told the neighbor she would make the daughter go home in the morning, but she didn't leave until 11 am.
Feb. 20, 2008 DHS took the girls and the mother to Enid for counciling. Those girls will not talk with their adoptive mother present. They came back around 11:30 am. The mother called the father from the neighbor's and he also came over and they stayed for awhile. The neighbor was wanting to fix lunch. They finally left. The daughter had told the neighbor that she would be back for the night. The neighbor told her again she was not to come and she didn't but the natural son came (the person who later confessed to rape by instrument) for supper and stayed until it was time for the girls to go to bed. The DHS worker did stay until about 2 pm but the girls would not talk.
The neighbor also said the girls would not eat much when the son and daughter were around. They always kept looking at them to see if they approved. The oldest girl was sort of rude to the neighbor and would not talk to her. At one point, the daughter even got into the DHS worker's face to make a point. The daughter said that the second born girl would be adopted by her aunt and uncle and she would never see her sisters again and that her sisters did not want to see her.
Feb. 21, 2008 I called the neighbor in the morning and visited with her for a long time. She said the 3 younger sisters were pretty much at ease, but the oldest girl would not talk. They had a "Show Case Hearing" today. From what I understand, they have returned the girls to the adoptive home. This just makes me sick. Not sure what to do next.
The natural daughter also told the neighbor that they are really upset with me, because I taught the girls how to use the phone.
They returned the girls at 11:30 February 21st. The DHS person said she would call the neighbor later, but never did. We have no idea who was in this hearing.
Feb. 29, 2008, Friday I called the neighbor to see if she had heard anything. She said she had talked to the second born and the cousin for over an hour the night previous. The cousin said the girl's counselor and her sisters's counselor would be in contact with each other over the counseling: Wednesday mornings at 9:30.
The adoptive mother sent clothes that were old and too small for the second born when she went with her cousin. The cousin sent some of the clothes back because she thought one of the younger girls could wear them but the mother sent them again with the comment that they don't want anything that belongs to this child in the house. The cousin got a hate mail from the mother concerning all this. The mother did not send any of the girls good clothes nor the 2 dresses that the neighbor had purchased for her and none of her things like jewelry or toys.
The adoptive mother sent her cousin a 6 page letter why she should not adopt this child.
Thursday, FEb. 28th The neighbor called the mother to tell her she had looked up facts about Detachment Disorder and told her there were lots of books about this and how to handle it. The neighbor told her she would even buy the books for her, but the mother didn't want to hear about it. The mother does not want her cousin to adopt the second born girl. The plan was that she would enroll her in school and the DHS would step in and find that she needed to be in a group home or facility.
The cousin has informed all of the mother's family about her; even the grandmother that is 101 years old and they say they will not have anything to do with the mother again. The family stated the adoptive parents told them God wanted them to adopt these girls and now they want to get rid of them by sending them back to Liberia.
The mother even called the adoption agency about sending them back and he said what is wrong with those girls that they don't appreciate what they have. Of course, he only heard the mother's side of the story.
March 3, 2008 The natural son and daughter are leaving for New Zealand. When the daughter was in Tennessee helping at a farm she brought back 2 girls that were sisters from New Zealand to stay their home for 3 days. The son and the oldest girl are "betrothed".
March 4, 2008 The cousin called today and I talked to JSJ (the second born girl). She was so happy. Told me school was going okay and that she had also gone to the zoo with her new parents and others. She wanted to send some of her Valentine candy to her sisters, but the cousin asked if she thought they would get it and she knew their mother would not let them have it. She asked the cousin what slaves did and JSJ kept saying that's what we had to do at our house. JSJ told the cousin that the mother was even swatting the kids at the orphanage (in Liberia).
The mother eMailed the cousin that they were exonerated from any wrong doing at the hearing.
The cousin also told me that the mother had a child out of wedlock when she was a teenager. Her parents gave her the choice to keep the baby or adopt it out. She decided to adopt it out.
At the mother's parent's 40th anniversary she and her husband caused quite a scene. Had to do with the adoptive parents having her younger sister's children. This couple (adopting parents of Liberian girls) would not let the biological dad get close to his children, because they claimed there was a restraining order (court order) against him which was not the truth. Family celebration the evening before and on Sunday a bigger celebration which this adoptive mother had planned special things like readings and stories, but would not carry out because she was so mad. The adoptive father had left with their two biological kids and the sister's kids for the day. It really upset the anniversary couple (parents of the adoptive mother) that her grandchildren were not there. With a lawyer and judge the children were finally released to the grandparents. The adopting couple would not come to the home of her parents and the mother of the children had to meet at the park.
The counselors are hoping to help JSJ have contact with her sisters.
The cousin faxed the OK DHS 13 pages to me. Two pages were from the cousin explaining some of the stuff on the pages that the adoptive mother had eMailed her. The cousin sent the hate eMail and the 5 pages from the adoptive mother that told the cousin why she should not adopt JSJ.
JSJ and her sisters have RATS (Racial Attachment Disorder), Post Traumatic Street Disorder from Africa, death of their mother, war, watch people being mistreated, etc. The adoptive parents should have had them in counseling for that.
March 5, 2008 I called Sara at DHS and told her that I am still very concerned for the four girls in this hostile situation. Just hoping they were continuing to investigate the situation. Going into the home for a short time, it is hard to observe all that really goes on. The adoptive parents are very good at deceiving. They have fooled a lot of us for a long time. "I don't know what your doing to help the situation, but I wanted to say that if the girls are going for counseling, I would hope that they would be counseled separately." When they have been in my home and if one of them did something another of them didn't approve of they would threaten to tell the mother on them. They will tell on each other to gain favor from this abusive mother.
March 12, 2008 TW talked to me at church. She said that her daughter (JW) works at Pizza Hut. One day the two biological children and the oldest adopted Liberian girl came in to eat. JW asked them what they wanted to drink and the son and daughter told her what soda they wanted and then the oldest girl said what she wanted. Then the brother and sister said to her in a rude tone "Do you have any money?" and she said, "no". So she just ordered water. Then they ordered pizza and did not let her have any. They ate in front of her. When they were finished eating, there was one slice left and she got to eat that.
March 13, 2008 The neighbor called me. She had called the mother to see if the oldest girl cold come over and help her do so some things. One was to clean out the refrigerator that this neighbor is going to give to the biological son. The mother informed her that the girl could not come and would not be allowed to ever visit again. She also informed the neighbor she did not want her to have anymore contact with the girls. She didn't like when people came through her back door to check on them. This neighbor lady was terribly hurt. She has been friends with this family for many years and now they are treating her this way. She asked when the two biological kids were coming back and the mother would not answer her. The mother also said that the girls counselor had said that it was not necessary for the girls to have any contact with their sister, JSJ, because they did not want to have anything to do with her anymore.
May 13, 2008
To be cont'd . . . .