Friends talk about who the Sueppels were

By Brian Morelli

Iowa City Press-Citizen

Today's funeral and burial might serve as an ecumenical bookend for the lives of the six members of the Sheryl and Steven Sueppel family, but for many friends, family and others in the Iowa City community, their story and their tragic end will not fade anytime soon.

Steven, 42, Sheryl, 42, Ethan, 10, Seth, 8, Mira, 5, and Eleanor, 3, will be memorialized together in a 10 a.m. ceremony at St. Mary's Catholic Church, 302 E. Jefferson St., and then brought to St. Joseph's Cemetery, 1122 N. Dodge St., to be buried as a family.

Funeral directors say friends and family believe being buried together is how the family would have wanted it, despite the grisly moments right before their violent deaths.

Police say Steven Sueppel murdered his family, possibly using baseball bats that were recovered from the scene, in their 629 Barrington Road home on Easter night or Monday morning. Officials determined they died of blunt force trauma to the torsos and heads.

Early Monday, police think Sueppel committed suicide on his third attempt by driving into a concrete post in the median of Interstate 80.

Sueppel, a former Hills Bank & Trust executive, had been indicted in February for embezzling more than $500,000 over seven years from his employer and money laundering. The former vice president and controller left his job in October. He pleaded not guilty to the charges and was set to appear in court in April. The federal case is being thrown out, although there remains the possibility of civil lawsuits.

Nobody will ever understand why Sueppel, a widely perceived loving father and husband from a prominent local family, did what he did. Police say a four-page handwritten note left at the crime scene by Sueppel indicated he felt shame from the legal troubles and financial strain weighing on him.

There was nothing to indicate a specific trigger for what happened, Sgt. Troy Kelsay said. Rather, it might be attributed to a combination of factors, such as the feeling of burdening his family and the feeling his situation would only worsen no matter what he did.

"The totality of the circumstances, his despair over what his life had come to, led him to believe this was the best solution," said Kelsay, who was one of the first officers on the scene Monday.

"In his view, whatever he does makes it worse. In some warped way, he was trying to minimize that. It really doesn't make sense. I can never truly understand what he did.

"His solution involved killing five people he truly loved and cared for. That will never make sense to me."

Kelsay said the investigation is largely complete. Police are in the wrap-up stage, he said, and waiting for the results of various tests, including one for toxicology. Those tests may take several weeks to complete, and the case will not be officially closed until then, Kelsay said.

Friends and family are remembering the Sueppels for who they were rather than for their final moments.

"None of us can define what occurred. The more you try to wrap your mind around it, the worse it feels," longtime family friend Rodney Lehnertz said. "In the midst of tears, we've been able to laugh at the smiles the two have given us over the years."

The Sueppels

Friends describe the Sueppels as a loving family with good values. They liked to help others, both as people to lean on and as volunteers in the community. They were Catholics who attended church every weekend.

Sheryl and Steven Sueppel met in 1985 at the The Fieldhouse bar in Iowa City. Both had come with a different group of friends and before too long they were together on the dance floor.

"They were sitting at the same table. Pretty soon their chairs got closer together, and before you knew it, they were out on the dance floor," Lehnertz said.

Friends say they were each others' first serious "other."

"They clicked. They were one of those couples that were always together, always happy," longtime friend Kathy Benge said. "They found each other, and that was it. Steve was her main gig."

They married five years later on June 13, 1990, at St. Mary's, and seven years after that their first child, Ethan, was born, although in another country.

All four of the children were South Korean and were adopted by Sheryl and Steve Sueppel. The three oldest attended Longfellow Elementary.

"They felt like this was a great home for kids that might not have one otherwise," longtime friend Doug McDonald said.

The family of six lived in a 2,500-square-foot home on the east side of Iowa City in the Windsor Ridge development.

The neighborhood is packed with play structures behind homes. The neighborhood kids and, sometimes, whole families often passed time together by visiting at each others' houses.

"They were great neighbors, very active," said neighbor Roberta Caris, who has two children. "We were a very close-knit neighborhood."

Steven

Steven Sueppel was a clown, somebody who could turn on his humor like a light switch, said McDonald, 42, who says he and Sueppel were best friends since first grade.

"Steve made people laugh more than anyone I knew in my life. He just made you want to be around him because you knew you were going to have fun," said McDonald, who now lives in Phoenix and returned to Iowa City for the funeral.

He was funny but never stole the spotlight and never at the expense of others, Lehnertz said, describing his specialty as physical comedy.

"He was funny as requested," said Lehnertz, who graduated in the same class as McDonald and Sueppel.

McDonald added, "The guy could not be embarrassed."

Steven Sueppel was born to William F. and Patricia Tierney Sueppel on Aug. 13, 1965, in Iowa City. He was the sixth of eight children in the Sueppel family, and he looked up to his older brothers, his friends said.

He attended Regina schools, graduating in 1983, and received a business degree from the University of Northern Iowa. He often returned to Iowa City on the weekends to share Lehnertz and McDonald's dorm room. Iowa football was always a big part of his life, his friends said.

He worked early in his life at the Elk's Country Club as a bartender and lifeguard, among other jobs there.

Lehnertz and McDonald describe Sueppel as the "dork" everyone loved. He had a toothpick build all his life and had "unending energy." The lefty was athletic, but in an awkward way, nailing long range hoops despite his funky, gangly form. He also played tennis, golf and loved to fish locally at the Coralville Reservoir.

McDonald described Sueppel as a loyal friend who once skipped work to spend extended time with him after McDonald's grandfather died.

"It meant a lot to me at the time," McDonald said.

They both saw Sueppel at Christmastime, attending an impromptu high school reunion. Despite his legal troubles having already begun, Sueppel resumed his old role as the entertainer and did not make mention or let on that he had his own problems to deal with.

"He was an exceptionally proud person," McDonald said.

Close friends and family -- both the Sueppels and Sheryl's family, the Kestersons --remained supportive of Steven Sueppel through his legal difficulties.

Sheryl

Today, Sheryl Sueppel would have been meeting gym friends for coffee and then driving to Des Moines for a weekend get-away in celebration of exercising success, said Franco Scirpo, a personal trainer at Core Fitness who had organized the trip.

"She was really looking forward to this weekend going to Des Moines," Scirpo said.

In past year, Sueppel had become a regular at Core. She'd arrive about 5 a.m. and hit the free weights and run on the treadmill. She would leave by 7 a.m. to get the kids ready for school.

"Everyone noticed a change in her. Her body really changed," said Scirpo, who had served as her personal trainer for several sessions and saw her regularly. "She was getting compliments. I said this is what you need. Your outlet should be the gym, and she stuck with it."

With her husband's legal troubles, her stress level increased, but she appeared to be dealing with it in a positive way, Scirpo said. She was always one to minimize and even make light of her own problems as though other people were worse off, Scirpo said.

"She always said, 'He is a good man, a good husband, a good father,'" Scirpo said.

Scirpo said it is difficult for him to understand having Steven buried with his family, "but that's her. She would have wanted it this way."

Scirpo described Sheryl Sueppel as a strong woman with a dry sense of humor who seemingly knew about everything in the city.

Sueppel was a Sioux City native, born Feb. 21, 1966, to John and Gisela Frey Kesterson. She graduated from City High in 1984 and the University of Iowa with an education degree.

She used to teach in the Iowa City school district at Penn and Wickham elementaries. She belonged to book clubs, an adoption group, a Catholic women's group, a bible study group, and she was a board member of the Iowa Children's Museum, among others.

"She was very social, a helper in the community," said Kathy Benge, who was Sheryl Sueppel's maid of honor.

Benge and Sheryl lived five houses away as kids and were best friends since third grade. They held their first jobs together at Oaknoll retirement home and then at Cookies and More.

Benge said they have talked to each other several times a day for years, and she has three voice messages she cannot delete.

"Hey Kathy, just checking in. Nothing happening. Just seeing how you're doing," Benge said is what the messages said. "I am having a hard time deleting them. I'll always have those messages on speed dial in my heart."

Benge described Sheryl Sueppel as a go-getter. She was the type of person to pack a picnic and go have dinner in the park with her family.

"Her main talent was being a mom, and she did it well," Benge said. "It was a beautiful family, inside and out."

Ethan

Lehnertz remembers waiting with the Sueppels for Ethan's flight to arrive at the Des Moines airport.

"It was exciting to watch Steve and Sheryl wrench their neck to see their first view of their first child," Lehnertz said.

Ethan was born Nov. 2, 1997. He was in fourth grade at Longfellow Elementary.

"He seemed really smart to me," McDonald said. "He had really good social skills. He was really mature."

McDonald spent time at the Sueppel house this past Christmas. Each of the children came down to greet him.

"Whenever they had company over, they would always have the kids come down to say 'hello.' The kids wouldn't stay in their rooms," McDonald said.

He remembers Ethan calling out factoids from a corner perch.

"Ethan was in the corner reading this book about fishing, and he'd throw out facts," McDonald said.

Ethan played cello, soccer and liked fishing with his dad. He would go golfing with his grandfather, Jack Kesterson, Lehnertz said. Steven Sueppel coached Ethan's little league team, his friends said.

Seth

Seth is remembered as an animal lover.

One year, Steven and Sheryl got Seth a crab, which soon died, and then they got him two rabbits, McDonald said.

"Seth could just stand out there and stare at the rabbits for hours," McDonald said.

McDonald described Seth as a little shy, but he was more physical, an adventurer. He said he was sensitive and enjoyed music.

Seth was born July 1, 1999. Seth was in second grade at Longfellow. He also liked to garden, especially enjoying vegetables and flowers.

"They both were able to understand the kids' individual needs," McDonald said of Sheryl and Steven. "Each one was really different, and they encouraged those differences."

Mira

Mira was known to be the character of the bunch.

This past summer, McDonald was in town and he remembers stopping by the Sueppel house and within five minutes, Mira was on his lap.

"She was a little fireball. She wasn't the least bit shy," McDonald said. "She was an entertainer. She always had something to show."

When McDonald was in town this Christmas, Mira had learned a magic trick where she would pull something from behind your ear. He remembers her climbing on Steven.

Mira was born March 25, 2002, and would have celebrated her sixth birthday this past week. She was in kindergarten at Longfellow Elementary.

Eleanor

Friends remember Eleanor as a little girl who liked to be fancy.

"She liked her Barbies. She was more into girlie stuff," McDonald said.

Eleanor was born Oct. 31, 2004. She liked to dress up and play with her Barbie dolls. She liked to wear her tights and tap shoes.

"She was more of a turn and give you the quiet smile," Lehnertz said.

McDonald remembered Eleanor as being very attached to her parents.

"I am not sure if she wasn't feeling well, but she was in Steve's arms the whole time," McDonald said, referring to his Christmas visit.

Benge said Sheryl Sueppel coordinated a fundraiser for the Children's Miracle Network for Eleanor's fourth birthday. Eleanor had suffered from kidney problems.

"Just a little character, a bubbly little girl," Benge said of Eleanor.

McDonald remembers leaving the Sueppel house after his visit this past Christmas.

"I walked out of there thinking this is a nice place. This is a good family," he said. "And those kids were really well loved."