Hey repressed memories? apology?
Fri, 2008-09-12 14:40 - iluvla24
hey guys I'm sorry I complained about so much stuff that was going on..it's all getting better though. and, hey has anybody had experience with repressed/suppressed memories from the past? from sexual abuse?
please let me know thanks
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Memories, (and I don't mean the Barbara Streisand kind)
My memories first started to resurface when I was a freshman year in college. I will gladly go in more detail in the Adult Aftermath section.
memories...
Remembering things, for me, there was always this nagging feeling that would not go away. I didn't have instant
memories, only letting myself bring forward what had happened. I felt like I had to respect my dad while he was
alive; I was raised to respect my parents. My mom died, and with her a lot of things that should have been taken
care of... But I finally realized that I needed to deal with what my dad did, right now. I'm glad I did. I gave him three
chances to talk with me about it but he refused. So I just let myself constantly think about myself at a very young
age and was able to own what had happened to me. I always knew there was something, and I knew some
facts, but was unable to allow myself to put it together and dwell on it.
I was always afraid of making something up in my mind. But facts are facts, and put together, told a story.
"I can be changed by what happens to me, I refuse to be reduced by it." M.A.
One Step Up From Bottom
Teddy
I Have a Different Problem
None of my memories ever surpressed. My first memory is probably from about the age of 8 months. My freakish recall ability has caused me nothing but trouble.
My a-brother does has stretches of blacked out time, and his Doc wants it to remain blacked out because she feels that George cannot handle the details. I have to be very careful at times what I am saying to him...If I bring something up and he seems not to know about it, I must drop the thread of conversation immediately.
Memory recall, and coping with it
My memory can easily be triggered by certain sights, sounds, or smells, so even if a topic is ignored/avoided, the ability to recall certain events still lives inside of me. I found all the related emotions and reactions to those memories would all resurface in various different not-so-pretty ways, so I began to see how ignoring the roots to my problems was not a good approach to take. Years ago, I finally decided it was time to see a therapist for my problems. It was immediately after 9/11, and I was home with newborn twins, 2 older children, and a spouse who was working 12-16 hours days at ground zero. I had no help, no emotional support, and was quickly falling apart. The therapist placed me on 3 different medications, (Effexor, Seroquel, and Lamictal). In spite of the high doses given to me, I saw little improvement within myself. The problems and memories were still there; I had just become numb to the emotions that went with them. Ultimately, I weaned myself of all medications and stopped seeing this therapist because I didn't like how my visits were all about "the refill" and not at all about the the issues I needed to discuss. I have always believed coping with bad memories and eliminating the stress that went with them is the healthiest thing I can do for myself. I have discovered "healthy coping" is not at all easy or pleasant to do, [it's a learning/teaching process that has to be tried and tested], but my new way of dealing with my past sure beats living a one-dimensional life that kept me walking on eggshells and living in abysmal darkness.