Controversy trails 'attachment' therapist who runs Chesapeake center

By Bill Sizemore
The Virginian-Pilot
© July 6, 2008

Rinda Theibert was desperate.

Her son Michael, whom she adopted at age 8, was exposed to drugs in the womb and had spent much of his first seven years locked alone in a room. Diagnosed with mental retardation and autism, he had spent time in a psychiatric hospital and was prone to self-mutilation.

Theibert had thought she was prepared; the Virginia Beach single mother's two other adopted children were doing fine. But Michael's behavior was driving her crazy.

Her social worker, Joan Duhaime, was at the end of her rope, too. Maybe it was time to try something radical, she finally suggested to Theibert.

Duhaime had attended a training session in Norfolk led by Bryan Post, a charismatic young therapist from Oklahoma who claimed to have a revolutionary cure for emotionally disturbed children.

Post, who has since moved his base of operations to Hampton Roads, subscribes to a controversial approach known as "attachment therapy" - typically used with severely disturbed adolescents, usually adopted or foster children. Its central premise is that behavior problems are traceable to early trauma - perhaps even in the womb - that prevented the children from forming a normal attachment to their birth parents.

When Theibert first encountered Post in 2004, when Michael was 11, she was hopeful. Post seemed to be an expert, a nd he guaranteed a positive outcome. The therapy cost more than $5,500, but Theibert decided it was worth a try.

"He was the only one saying there was any hope for Michael," she said.

So on Super Bowl weekend, she, her three children and Duhaime flew to Oklahoma City for three days of "family intensive" sessions in a hotel room with Post.

At that and two subsequent rounds of therapy later that year, Theibert said, she and her children were instructed to lie on air mattresses, where they were held down and encouraged to scream and cry about their past traumas.

Anyone who expressed discomfort with the emotionally wrenching sessions was mocked and belittled, she said. Duhaime was taken aback.

"It felt coercive," she said, "and I could not see the benefit of it for my client."

There were group sessions with other families, Theibert said, where Post recommended putting adolescents in diapers and giving them baby bottles. He suggested to at least one mother that she lick her child's face like a mother cat does to a kitten.

Post also insisted that no child needs to be on anti-psychotic medications, so Theibert took Michael off his meds.

A year and several thousand dollars later, Michael had gone from bad to worse. After attempting suicide with a kitchen knife, he ended up back in the psychiatric hospital.

Theibert said her daughters have had nightmares about the therapy for years.

Post had offered a money-back guarantee, so Theibert asked for a refund. Post sent her $1,000 and promised the rest in monthly installments. No more payments came.

Since moving to Hampton Roads in 2006, Post has opened the Post Institute, which offers in-home family therapy and trains foster parents. He also operates a group home and a school in Chesapeake. He has been paid hundreds of thousands of dollars in government money for his services.

Theibert and other critics say Post's credentials are questionable - he holds a Ph.D. from an unaccredited school - and there is little empirical evidence that his unconventional methods are effective.

Post says his critics are misinformed and vindictive. And some clients stoutly defend him, saying he has saved their families from intolerable dysfunction. It is almost as if they and Post's detractors are describing two different people.

At the opposite end of the spectrum from Theibert is Wilma "Willie" Ice, a single mother of three adopted children in Henrico County, outside Richmond. She had been to therapist after therapist seeking help with the children's behavior, which included verbal and physical aggression, setting fires, and urinating on the floor.

"I couldn't find anybody who said, 'What you've got to do is love these kids' - and then tell me how to do it," Ice said.

About four years ago, on the advice of a Henrico County social worker, she attended a Post parenting camp in Virginia Beach. She was so impressed that she took her children to a Post family camp in Oklahoma City.

When Post moved to Virginia, Ice was thrilled. She got government adoption subsidies that paid more than $100,000 for a year of intensive in-home therapy for her family.

Sometimes Post or one of his therapists would be in her home for up to 24 hours at a stretch, Ice said. Often the therapy would include "mat work" in which family members would give vent to their emotions while lying on an air mattress.

Ice said she achieved a breakthrough with her oldest daughter, then 11, after Post told her "what I really needed to do was take her in my arms and hold her and give her a baby bottle. A lot of her infancy needs were unmet."

More than a year after the therapy ended, "there are still nights when our whole family will sit at the table, Mom included, drinking our beverages from a baby bottle," Ice said. "It's kind of embarrassing to acknowledge that as a parent, but there's an emotional connection that gets met there for everybody."

Today her children are doing well in school and have no serious behavior issues, Ice said. She attributes their success to her own growth as a parent under Post's tutelage.

"I was a parent who had had extremely poor role models myself," she said. "What I've learned is a way of approaching my children and my family and my home from a place of calm. It's pretty hard for my kids to get me off center anymore."

Bryan Post calls his clients "the last-hope kids."

"These are the kids who haven't made it anywhere else," he said in a recent interview at the Post Academy, the private day school he runs in the South Norfolk neighborhood of Chesapeake. "Finally when everyone else has thrown in the towel, then they send them to us."

As if to underscore the point, two of the school's eight students wandered away from the building during the interview and had to be rounded up from the nearby neighborhood. On a reporter's subsequent visit a week later, a fight broke out, requiring intervention from several staffers.

Post, 35, can empathize with such kids because he was one himself. Adopted as an infant, "I had all kinds of behavior issues," he said. "I was setting fires, I was stealing, I was lying, I was killing animals, I was beating kids up.... At 20 years old I was breaking into cars stealing stereos. I could be in prison right now."

The aim of attachment therapy is to revisit the trauma through a cathartic emotional release that, adherents say, will clear the way for a healthy attachment between children and their caregivers. To achieve that, practitioners have used various forms of physical restraint over the years.

Post studied under one of the pioneers of the movement: Martha Welch, a psychiatrist at Columbia University who helped launch the field with her influential 1989 book "Holding Time."

Some permutations of attachment therapy have had tragic results, including deaths. Most infamous is the case of Candace Newmaker, a 10-year-old adoptee from North Carolina who died of asphyxiation during a "rebirthing" session in Evergreen, Colo., in 2000.

The girl was placed in the fetal position on the floor, tightly wrapped in a flannel sheet. A dozen thick pillows were piled over her and two therapists and their assistants sat on top, urging her to fight her way out - as if being reborn - but restraining her when she tried and ignoring her cries for help. The two therapists were convicted of child abuse and sent to prison.

In an interview, Post took pains to distance himself from that incident and from his mentor, Welch: "The last time I practiced Martha's work was in 2001."

Welch's approach is "fear-based," he said. "I've moved night and day away from that." His approach, in contrast, is "love-based," Post said. "We don't do any forced holding of kids."

The case of Candace Newmaker and others like it have inspired several support groups and Web sites dedicated to attacking attachment therapy as unproven, pseudoscientific and potentially dangerous.

The American Psychiatric Association and the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children have issued position statements in recent years opposing the use of coercive attachment therapy techniques and saying there is no peer-reviewed scientific evidence that they are effective.

One of the leading critics is Jean Mercer, a professor emerita of psychology at the Richard Stockton College of New Jersey. In an interview, she said she first encountered Post at a seminar in 2001.

Even if the "mat work" Post does now isn't physically coercive - if the person on the mat wants to get up, he or she is allowed to do so - it is still psychologically coercive, Mercer said.

Post provided summaries of two studies that he said demonstrate the effectiveness of his therapy. One tracked the behavior of five children over 12 weeks of therapy and found a 50 percent improvement. The other involved 28 children served by an Arkansas agency that switched to Post's program and reported a 90 percent drop in crisis interventions.

Mercer said both studies are unconvincing because, among other issues, the samples were too small to allow any valid statistical analysis.

Another thing that should make parents suspicious about Post, Mercer said, is his suggestion that conventional therapy is bound to fail and his approach is the only one that works.

"He's a salesman," she said. "He's a super salesman."

Indeed, Post's Web site exudes salesmanship, with glowing testimonials and "special" offers for dozens of books, CDs and DVDs.

One four-DVD series aimed at parents of difficult children purports to explain "the most revolutionary new theoretical model in all of mental health." The cost, with various bonuses thrown in if you order now: "More than a $1,265 value for $117!" The offer comes with Post's "ironclad" money-back guarantee.

Post also offers self-help materials to other therapists with titles such as "How to Become a Financially Independent Therapist" and "Speaking and Selling to Skeptical Mental Health Audiences, including How I made $21,300 in one week of public speaking."

"I'm an entrepreneur," Post sai d in the interview. "I started selling lemonade when I was 6 years old.

"If you want to make money, if you want to be wealthy, then be the best in your field and say you're the best. That's essentially all I'm teaching.... Do you want to go to a neurosurgeon who charges you a hundred bucks or do you want to go to a neurosurgeon who charges you a thousand bucks? I want to go to the thousand-dollar one."

On his Web site and printed materials, Post refers to himself as Dr. Post. He received a Ph.D. in social work in 2000 from Columbus University, an unaccredited "distance learning" institution located at the time in Louisiana. It has since relocated twice, to Mississippi and Alabama. Its Web site offers a doctorate in 12 months for $2,295.

Post is licensed as a social worker in Oklahoma but was reprimanded by the licensing board there in 2007 for unprofessional conduct regarding his degree claim. He was directed to include a disclaimer on his Web site and other materials making clear that his degree is from an unaccredited school.

Post is not licensed as a mental health professional in Virginia. Many of his services are provided on a subcontract basis through Carpe Diem of Virginia, a licensed agency in Chesapeake.

Eliot Faircloth, executive director of Carpe Diem, said he researched Post's background before partnering with him and is satisfied that his techniques are not harmful to children.

"My case managers are in the home twice a week," he said. "If weird crap's going on, I'm going to hear about it. "

"As for his Ph.D., I don't care, because it's not affecting the kids," he added. "If he wants me to call him King Post, I'll call him King Post."

Post was paid more than $700,000 by the Virginia Medicaid agency and local social services departments last year for services provided to about 40 children.

The Portsmouth Department of Social Services spent $171,000 to keep a single child in a Post therapeutic foster home for 16 months. The child has since been removed from the program. Social Services Director Reynold Jordan wouldn't say why.

Social services departments in Norfolk, Virginia Beach and Chesapeake declined to discuss their use of Post's services. Suffolk did not use Post's services.

Statewide, more than $440 million in federal, state and local money was spent last year on services for 18,500 troubled children - nearly $24,000 per child.

A 2006 study by the Joint Legislative Audit and Review Commission, a state oversight agency, found that the system for serving such children is plagued by inadequate licensing and inspection procedures and a lack of tools for measuring effectiveness.

The rate for Post's Chesapeake group home is $457 a day, or $166,805 a year. Denise Gallop, coordinator of children's services for the Hampton Division of Social Services, said a typical group home rate is $250 a day. Hampton does not use Post's program.

Nevertheless, Post insisted in the interview - at times tearful, at times pounding the table for emphasis - that he is losing money. According to figures supplied by his accountant, his local operations had a net loss of $125,000 last year and Post himself earned $40,000 in salary.

"I should be charging triple what people here in Virginia are charging, because I'm doing something right," he said. "I'm doing something effective. So people should be wanting to pay me a lot of money to work with these kids because they're wasting their money everywhere else."

Colleen James, a Norfolk foster mother, never saw any "mat work" during the five months a Post therapist worked with her 12-year-old foster daughter last year, although the therapist once suggested James herself would benefit from it.

"It was made pretty clear that the parent is the problem," James said. "You're supposed to be an empty vessel, so the child can't push your buttons."

The therapy left James increasingly dissatisfied. In one typical incident, the girl, in a fit of rage, ripped the freshly planted flowers out of James' garden and the therapist refused to intervene, saying, "This is good. She's getting her aggression out."

Finally James went to the Department of Social Services and asked that the Post agency be replaced with a more conventional type of therapy.

The department complied, and James said the child is doing better now.

"But I think we would be much further along now if not for the Post experience," she said. "She was empowered in her boldness to act out and destroy things. It was totally ineffective."

The experience also had a ripple effect on another foster family. The girl 's biological sister had been placed with a Chesapeake foster mother, Kathleen Herring. At one point, Herring said, her social worker suggested that her foster daughter, too, would benefit from Post therapy.

After talking with James, Herring said, she responded: "I will not let them in my house." The social worker insisted, saying the child needed to be "cured."

As a result, the child was removed from Herring's home. "It just literally tore my family apart," she said.

Post's pitch "sounds good. It sounds healing," James said. "It's all stuff you want to hear when you have a disturbed child.... They're preying on vulnerable people."

For more online, go to:

www.postinstitute.com [1]

www.attach.org [2]

www.childrenintherapy.org [3]

www.childtorture.wordpress.com [4]

Bill Sizemore, (757) 446-2276, bill.sizemore@pilotonline.com

0

Counseling The Fostered and The Adopted

Statewide, more than $440 million in federal, state and local money was spent last year on services for 18,500 troubled children - nearly $24,000 per child.

A 2006 study by the Joint Legislative Audit and Review Commission, a state oversight agency, found that the system for serving such children is plagued by inadequate licensing and inspection procedures and a lack of tools for measuring effectiveness.

The rate for Post's Chesapeake group home is $457 a day, or $166,805 a year. Denise Gallop, coordinator of children's services for the Hampton Division of Social Services, said a typical group home rate is $250 a day.

These numbers reflect the adoption/foster after-care costs in one state.   Make no mistake, there is huge money being made by those who claim to know and understand "adoption issues".   So when I read how money is not making family services any better, but is IS making opportunists more wealthy, I just want to scream!  This proves even after adoption, (the solution for "better child-treatment") parents and children are still at a disadvantage when it comes to a growing industry's interests.

Putting that soap-box aside... Based on my own experience, I really don't think there are that many therapists or counselors who truly know how to reach or connect to the untapped frustration and anger that dwells inside the hearts and heads of many out-placed children/adults.  This is made even more difficult if there is a hidden pathology, like autism.

But let's say the child brought to therapy for behavior problems is neurologically-sound, (the child's brain is without flaw and is in perfect working order... because yes, there are diagnostic tests that can do that, ruling out autism and other dysfunctions like seizures and epilepsy....), I seriously doubt many children would go to a therapist with the foster/Aparent's present, and start spilling their guts out, admitting what's been so upsetting about out-placement.  I believe many of us use silence as our source of protection.  It protects us from having to feel all that's been hurt and lost, and it protects the new-parents from getting hurt or angry.  It's like marriage counseling.  What idiot is going to admit all their true negative feelings if the person being trashing about is sitting right there?  

The LAST thing an out-placed child wants to do is make yet another adult angry.

After all, in our little minds, don't many of us believe it's that adult anger and frustration that got us evicted from our homes and families in the first place? 

 

Attachment Therapy

We were offered Attachment Therapy.  It involves the parent and child in the room at the same time because of the possibility of triangulation.  In the past two years, I have NOT been a part of my two younger children's therapy, and ONLY when my child has personally asked me to be there, to make it easier for him/her to tell what happened, have I gone in.  PLEASE, explain this to me?  Their RAD is very minimal; could this be the reason for wanting me there with themselves? 

One Step Up From Bottom,
 Teddy

AT

I have to laugh at the concept of triangulation being avoided in a therapy-situation.  One of PPL's members, Robin, started a piece called "Ummm... Triad, what Triad?" .  I think in the world of adoption, the phrase "all things come in threes" has a whole different meaning outside the therapeutic milieu.

In any case, personally, from what I have learned about Attachment Therapy, most of it scares me.  Just the term "Holding Time", alone, makes my hands sweat with dread and disgust.  Imagine how scary this form of therapy is for the child being held, on a mat, with adult-force.  [A very good article on this practice can be found here:  "Man Seeks Ban on Therapy He Used on Daughter".]

I honestly believe Trust is the key to attachment, and that inner-feeling is so individual, one should never assume a child's heart, mind or opinion can be read.  This is what amuses me about AP's, or therapists for that matter... just because they see nothing wrong with a particular parenting-style, doesn't mean the child likes or trusts those people he is now expected to call "mommy and daddy".  Much can happen behind closed doors, which is why I suppose, AT requires the adult parent to be present.    Liability and consent go a long way in a law-suit.

Anyway, it's my opinion that only a child can determine who can be trusted at a given time and I believe that child's feelings and opinion need to be honored and protected.  Clearly, this can lead to all sorts of control issues, making the healing-process through therapy, that much more complex!

I'll be the first to admit I am very simple when it comes to this basic building-block principle: If there is no trust, there can only be trouble.  [Which can only mean, if trust has been broken, somewhere there must be a deep feeling of betrayal.]

Make no mistake...

Kerry wrote:
Make no mistake, there is huge money being made by those who claim to know and understand "adoption issues".

Well, the subject therapist in the article you posted is an adoptee, after all.  I'm curious, what qualifications do you look for in a therapist who understands "adoption issues"?

So when I read how money is not making family services any better, but is IS making opportunists more wealthy, I just want to scream!

Besides working for free, that is.

I seriously doubt many children would go to a therapist with the foster/Aparent's present, and start spilling their guts out, admitting what's been so upsetting about out-placement.  I believe many of us use silence as our source of protection.  It protects us from having to feel all that's been hurt and lost, and it protects the new-parents from getting hurt or angry.  It's like marriage counseling.  What idiot is going to admit all their true negative feelings if the person being trashing about is sitting right there?

Like Teddy wrote, attachment therapy involves both child and parents to avoid triangulation.  Individual therapy is something totally different.  We've made individual therapy an option when our children chose to make use of it.  They can initiate therapy sessions and are also free to discontinue them.  We've done this time and time again.

Even though we pay for it and are their legal guardians (some might actually call us "parents"), we're not privy to any confidential conversations.  My daughter has especially benefitted from individual therapy in dealing with PTSD issues originating from the time she spent in the "care" of her biological father.

The LAST thing an out-placed child wants to do is make yet another adult angry.

During the honeymoon period, perhaps, where their fear of another abandonment mutes most regressive behaviors.  After that, it's not uncommon for abused children, yes, even adoptees, to vent their anger at their current caregivers.

Dad

Fear of abandonment and betrayal

For what it's worth, not all adoptees are "authorities" on adoption issues, and not all adoptees take money for their opinions.  I believe PPL reflects the notion that somethings have value,  like an adult adoptee's opinion, even if no money is involved or exchanged.  If the adults who have been abused can't offer insight, who can?  What we post here is out of passion, not for personal profit.  Many of us lost all there is to lose already, so what is money in the whole scheme of things if happiness and peace still cannot be found?

This leads me to the following comment:

During the honeymoon period, perhaps, where their fear of another abandonment mutes most regressive behaviors.  After that, it's not uncommon for abused children, yes, even adoptees, to vent their anger at their current caregivers.

I know for myself, why and where I stand with those two issues.  It's the very reason why I have a VERY difficult time with  intimate relationships. 

So, as an Afather, do you really think "abandonment" and "betrayal" EVER go away, especially for the female who was raped and abused?  Are these issues brought to a child exclusively by the biologic parents, or can abuse take place in an orphanage, a children's home or adoptive/foster home, as well?  [Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of people assuming all abuse takes place PRIOR to parental removal and child-placement!]

Can you see how certain abuses, no matter when or where they take place, curse the life of those having to live with the stinking memories?  [Thus my topic-discussion on suicidal tendencies within the fostered and adopted population.  This is a number not counted, statisically, because it's an issue quickly and easily ignored because it reflects badly on the adoption-friendly community.]

I believe when there is acting out, there is hope, because that anger is being released.  Anger needs to be managed, and I think that's a lesson many of us still need to learn.  (Myself especially included! )

Yes, Big D, I know all about displaced anger.  It's not at all easy to deal with, but in these cases, it's the adult-thing to remember, "it's not me, it's what I represent, and I can handle that anger". When I worked in an Oncology unit, I used to see many angry faces.  You know what I learned?  They were all scared... no, TERRIFIED people, wishing someone would sit with them and tell them, "It's going to be ok."  [If at all interested you can read the story of one of my favorite cancer patients, Mr. Kessler.  It was this man's wrath that taught me even the most fierce bear can be tamed.]

What should concern parents and therapists, (and loved ones, too... because attachment issues are not limited to children!) ?  Know that a significant change in behavior is the sign that something needs to be investigated with care and concern.  A responsible person knows, the physical safety of a person must ALWAYS be respected and protected.  This is especially true when a person's anger seems to go have gone away.  All too often, I have learned, sadly, that the quiet most people see as a behavioral improvement may in fact be the calm before the storm, meaning the anger has turned inward... that's when I believe silence becomes dangerous and at times, deadly. 

Dealing with What I know

During the honeymoon period, perhaps, where their fear of another abandonment mutes most regressive behaviors.  After that, it's not uncommon for abused children, yes, even adoptees, to vent their anger at their current caregivers.

that's not true.  i never once did this while my parents were alive.  despite a mountain of emotional neglect and later abuse.  and there was no honeymoon period.  there was for my parents, but for me it felt the same year after year. 

I know absolutely nothing about my pre-memory, pre-adoption days. 
Given that, I have to base the analysis of my life from when I was cognizant forward, which is all I can do.

Deriving from what I know, my poor attachment to my parents was based on the environment in which I was placed and the people I was placed with.

My environment was not of my choosing.  My parents were not of my choosing.  The expectation of attachment from first strangers and then caretakers/adoptive parents was a mandate that I was always expected to embrace.  That's a lot of pressure on a kid, in my opinion. 

As I read somewhere else, put by someone else, what if you just fundamentally don't like or don't respect the new people you are forced to live with? 
How would you like to be forced to live with someone you didn't like?  How would you like to be forced to live with someone who didn't consult with you first? I always rationalized that my parents were okay parents.  But at the same time I knew they thought about themselves more than anyone else.  So in my case, I knew I could never trust them with my best interests.  That's pretty fundamental, and from what I'm hearing, it's the global theme from adoptees about the adoption experience.

When I grow attached to someone, it is by free will, born of freedom, born of admiration, grown over time and without pressure.
Pressure has the opposite effect.  It makes me retreat.  It violates my self determination.  It is disrespectful.  It makes me angry.

Dealing with RAD kids might be a challenge.  But you brought that on yourself.  The very act of adopting created or exacerbated whatever RAD was there. 
Maybe your kids will always resent you.  You abducted them in the name of charity and your own needs.  And now you expect them to respond to and embrace total assimilation. AND love you because of it?  Did you ever explore the possibility that maybe it's their right to not bond, attach, or love you?  Maybe they'll get over it.   They'll probably submit at some point, what other choice do they have?  But will they ever TRULY get over it? 

Maybe they'll become adults and join this or similar websites, putting up with adoptive parents trying to find a way to discount the way we feel, trying to argue about something that can't be argued about. 

The nature vs. nurture exploration doesn't even register a blip on my radar screen.  What registers on my screen are the prevailing attitudes of passing the buck and refusing to acknowledge our own contributions to the problem.  

The central premise

Its central premise is that behavior problems are traceable to early trauma - perhaps even in the womb - that prevented the children from forming a normal attachment to their birth parents.

I understand why this central premise of Attachment Therapy is so tempting for some adoptive parents. Much like this article, almost every sentenced uttered by Adam Perman and the words and works of Ron Federicci show that the emphasis of modern day adoption research and adoption related therapy is focused on the wrong doings of the natural family or the effects of institutionalization. Until the early 1990's, the time adoption really became an industry, several studies were done on the effect of adoption on adoptees and the socio-dynamices of  the adoptive family.

Not anymore. Nowadays all issues adoptees can have must be relegated back to the time before the adoption. Adoption has become too precious a source of income for many so-called professionals, the act itself is defined as benevolent and if the aftermath doesn't work out as expected, it is by definition in spite of all attempts and sacrifices made by the adoptive parents.

That's not science, that's marketing. Afterall, who is paying for therapy, special schools, boot camps and whatever other form of post adoption services available? Exactly... adoptive parents. One is not going to bite that hand that feeds the bill.

Some attachment issues of adoptees are indeed the result of neglect prior to adoption, but that is not the entire story. Some adoptees don't attach to their adoptive parents, because it doesn't feel safe, because they don't want to attach to these strangers, because something smells fishy instead of having a nest-scent. Some adoptees attached to their adopters only to be screwed over.

Attachment therapy then becomes coercive, making the child attach against its will. Candace Newmaker, didn't want to let go of her natural mother and that pissed off her adoptive mother so much, she chose to send her to a therapist to make Candace attach to her. She almost got what she wanted in the end, at least Candace stopped caring for her natural mother.

You said

Attachment therapy then becomes coercive, making the child attach against its will

I'd say ASSIMILATION is coercive, much less attachment...

[Which can only mean, if

[Which can only mean, if trust has been broken, somewhere there must be a deep feeling of betrayal.]

My two youngest have never had the chance to trust anyone.  Yet, I do believe they still feel betrayed even without knowing
trust.  Don't we all have feelings of how something "should be" and doesn't that cause feelings of betrayal when we KNOW something is not right?
I am so pissed off today!  I'm pissed at myself and the pain I have caused my children that I can NEVER make right.  This world does NOT care about children's pain!  I'm tired of the pissing matches with people who daily make decision that
totally change children's lives! 
Don't talk to me about foster homes and adoptive homes and attachment therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Doesn't anyone understand the damage that is being done?  When it is too late is when people start to notice something isn't right... The betrayal has become a way of life that is stuck to the soul... how can that child/person ever trust again? 
Taken from the biological mom and placed in an orphanage; put in a foster home where the people move and leave him; placed in another foster home where it happens again, and then again!  At four he is taken to America where he is abused by an evil adopted brother who then leaves and he is treated mean by an adoptive sister who then leaves along with the adoptive father that he loved so much; left with the mentally depressed amother who lets the police come and take him to a foster home full of ass-holes and now being told he would be going to friends and then home to amother.
HOW can this child trust?  He has been betrayed by every person who took care of him and NEVER allowed to heal before another trust is broken and he is sent on his way.
And the pissing match that is going on with the foster parents is done right in front of this child who doesn't know how to say what he is feeling.  This is why I do not own a gun.

One Step Up From Bottom,
Teddy

Pound Pup Legacy