The story of the foster parent of Ruth and Estera Tamas

April 30, 2007

MJ

This case haunts me. As the foster parent of the two older girls when they left Fabragas home, I'm the one that wrote letters, made phone calls, even lodged my complaints all the way up to the governor's office; yet it took us 4 months to get the oldest foster daughter removed, and the youngest remained in his home. Knowing that the adopted daughter had to endure 2 more years of this mans abuse haunts me.

I almost quit foster care over this case, but I care about kids and so I'm still here, caring for them, trying to help them have brighter futures, loving them, even when they can't love me back. I was in foster care as a teen, so I know how hard the battle is to overcome, but it is so sweet to see them do so.

If this we're, as Mr. Turnquist put it only "rare, but grievous" that would be one thing, but it is not. For some reason the Dept. does not fire workers who don't do their jobs properly; they move them, promote them, or "special project" them. The two workers in this case, who we're horribly rude to me, and refused to look at this case objectively, are now supervisors in the Dept.

I see wonderful caseworkers leave the Dept. because they can't deal with the political games that are played within it.

This work is supposed to be about kids lives, their safety, and their futures, but we (the tax payers/voters of Washington State)have set up a bureaucratic giant, where the abused and neglected children that it serves, are at the bottom of the pyramid, with the foster parents just one step above them.

The reality is that their are many wonderful state workers, yet it's the few who are not so wonderful, but vocal and sometimes down right nasty, that seem to continue to get moved up the chain of command. Sometimes they try to take down, or drag down, the best workers only out of spite.

CA of DSHS is a human machine, and it has human relationship problems. It needs to be run like a real business instead of a dysfunctional family unit, that keeps it's dark family secrets bottled up tight.

Regardless we desperately need more good foster parents. Those of you who are good with children, these little ones need homes, being a foster parent is not easy, sometimes the children don't even like you (after all they want to be with their Mom's and Dad's, and they see you as the one keeping them from them) but they need you, and they learn, and they grow. It is the most meaningful, heart breaking, and wonderful work I've ever felt so much passion for. Consider opening your homes to a foster child.

If fostering is not for you become an advocate to help us change the system, to assure that all children have safe homes to grow up in. Check out FPAWS (Foster Parent Association of Washington) they are making great strides in changing the future of foster care.

My prayers are with all the little ones in our state that are still enduring pain and suffering, may they find comfort and peace and someone to rescue them.

Blessings,

MJ