The lies behind my adoption
The adoption industry legally erased my past but it didn’t erase it from my memory.
I had a family before being adopted.
I was born in
The insurance company gave us a substantial sum of money for the death of my mother which was caused by a bus accident. Some time later, my father lent money to his first fiance so she could pay an engagement ring for her daughter as well as her wedding. His fiance decided to not marry him using the pretext that she didn’t know he had two other children besides me and she disappeared without repaying him. My father was determined to find a new mother for us. He met a widow, an owner of tavern and rich, with two girls. I don’t know the reason but he also lent this woman money after they were engaged. Right after obtaining the loan, she refused to marry him and she never paid him back, pretending at last that she didn’t knew us. Meanwhile, my brother quit his studies and left us. To make matters worse, a couple whom my father lent money declared that they couldn’t pay him back.
As we became poorer and poorer, occasionally we searched garbage cans to find plastic, which we would sell. Despite poverty, I’ve never suffered any hunger because I could go eat with my eldest sister and my nephew at any time. Some time, my brother gave us some money and once a week, I had to go to
To save transportation cost, my father and I moved to
I told the policeman that I lost my father while we were visiting my sister. I gave the address of my former house in
At the orphanage, I gave my former address once more. I told them if they could take me there, I could live with my eldest sister and I could even go to my new house by myself. A lady promised me that she would do her best to find my former house. It was the first lie.
Three months later, a man came and asked the children who knew their addresses to raise their hands. For a third time, I gave my former address in
He brought us to Saint-Paul’s orphanage. He was known to be the driver of the orphanage but maybe he was also the director since the only office of the orphanage belonged to him. Few days after our arrival, we were at his office in front of unknown men (employees of Holt Children's Service). The gentlemen gave us new birth dates and new ages. I was the only child to know her birth date which was August 13 but they also gave me another date in November. They ordered us to tell our new ages if someone questions us in the future. We find this game very funny because we were all younger by few months to a year. I didn’t know that this game was only another lie for the international adoption.
Meanwhile, I was happy because I was well fed and well treated (the opposite of the first orphanage) and I had many friends. From time to time, I was sad because I missed my father but I thought that this man (director or driver) was searching my former house in order to take me to my sister.
Several of my friends went to
Finally, it was my turn to leave the orphanage. The nun took me to a place (Holt office). A social worker took me to
Lost but not abandoned.
I was reunited with my family in 2001. I learned that I was not abandoned. They stopped searching me only after one day, thinking that I would come back by myself. My father died of liver disease in loneliness three years after losing me; I was his favorite child. My brother died in 1990 in an accident. My family didn't know I was sent to USA.
Those baby sellers lied and made up a (legal) paper to snatch me from my (birth) country and my (birth) family without their consent.The day Holt put me up for adoption, I became an orphan. I lost the family I had before being adopted; the difference of culture and language has prevented us to stay together.
If I had been adopted at a younger age or if I did not have memory, the lies behind my adoption would have gone unnoticed. Parents of children who were adopted at a young age, can you say with certainty that there is no lie behind your adoptions?