SPECIAL DELIVERY

Asbury Park Press (Neptune, NJ)

Roe logs the miles to bring his new daughter to the United States

Author: DEBBIE WALDEYER/STAFF WRITER

IT began as a long trip for Jim Roe. The flight time from Newark International Airport to Phnom Penh, Cambodia, including layovers, lasted more than 30 hours.

Roe, the athletic and activities director at Freehold Township High School, is usually surrounded by teachers, coaches and club advisors. When he's not at work, he's with family, his wife Ana and 3-year-old daughter Gabrielle.

But on this lengthy journey he was alone.

Roe had a list of items to bring that would send a normal traveler's head spinning - an accordion folder full of paperwork, a stroller, clothes, diapers and enough different types of medicines that he said he felt like a pharmacy.

In the end, the days lost to travel, the nervousness of being alone, were all worth it. Because on the other side of the world was a baby girl who was soon to be the newest addition to the Roe family.

Sophie Polida Roe is now 7 months old. Her birthday is not exactly known by the Roes, but the

Orphanage listed it as Feb. 14 - Valentine's Day. It's a date Jim and Ana Roe said they're keeping, for obvious reasons.

"She's so perfect," Ana said, holding Sophie on her lap. "We've just been so fortunate."

Ana and Jim Roe, married six years, have been down a tough road in reaching the ultimate goal of becoming parents - something often taken for granted. Ana, a teacher at Manalapan High School, gave birth to daughter Gabrielle after undergoing artificial insemination.

The couple tried to use the same process to have another child, but were unsuccessful after nine attempts. In-vitro fertilization was another option, but the cost was high - an estimated $12,000, they said, for the entire procedure. Insurance didn't cover it.

Still, they tried it once.

"People don't really understand what's involved, going through infertility treatments," Jim said. "Nightly injections and medication ..."

"My stomach was black and blue," Ana said.

"You have to go back to the doctors every other day," Jim said.

"You have to be monitored," Ana said.

"There's time off from work," Jim said.

"I almost lost my job," Ana said.

"But you felt like you had to do it because you've invested thousands of dollars into it," Ana said. "There was a lot of stress."

"A lot of stress," Jim agreed.

Ana began researching adoption agencies. Some, in her opinion, were too business-like for such a personal matter. Also, Ana, who is 36 years old, and Jim, 51, ran into age restrictions in certain countries. There were also rules concerning divorce. Korea won't accept applications from divorcees, and both Jim and Ana were previously married.

All of this led her to

Inc., a nonprofit adoption and child welfare agency. Cambodia was suggested as a place that would accept them and also provide a child relatively quickly, within five to six months, Ana said.

"When people usually think of adopting Asian children, they think of China," Ana said. "But you can wait up to two years for a Chinese baby 18 to 24 months is the average wait for China."

Through World Child, the Roes were introduced to

, Jenkintown, Pa., an organization that matches prospective parents with orphaned children. Jim and Ana dealt directly with

, the organization's founder, who was an immense help in Cambodia, Jim said.

"They called us very quickly and said we have a little girl for you," Ana said.

The Roes were sent Sophie's medical records, her blood work and contact numbers for other couples who have adopted children from Cambodia. High praise about this agency comforted them, Ana said. And the cost, which the Roes estimated at $22,000, was put toward something they felt was a "sure thing," Ana said.

"I've got to tell you, the Cambodian people are some of the kindest, gentlest, wonderful people ..." Jim said, his eyes welling up with tears.

"When you think of all the things that have happened to those poor people. They're so nice. They are so poor."

Jim undertook the trip alone because Ana had recently gone through spinal fusion and was not permitted to travel.

Jim, who earned his college degree in history, knew of the violence this area of the world endured in recent years. "Three years ago it was a scary time there. You wouldn't have gone there as an American citizen."

Once in Phnom Penh, there were services provided for Jim and the three other couples who traveled together, such as taxis, translators and tours. And the moment they were joined with their children, they celebrated with a formal Buddhist ceremony for the babies.

But it was the other things around him that Jim said he'll never be able to forget. The dirt roads that flood during monsoon rains, the water buffalo, the crowded and busy marketplace, the mopeds, which are the Cambodians' main form of transportation. Jim often saw a moped carrying an entire family. On one moped, he saw three men and two pigs.

Cambodia is also a land devastated by the destruction caused by land mines, and is still regarded one of the most heavily land-mined countries in the world.

"One night when we left the restaurant, there was one little boy pushing another little boy on a what was essentially a wheelchair," Jim said. "Four wheels from the bottom of a baby carriage and a piece of plywood on top. The boy on the wheelchair had both his legs blown off, one arm blown off, and he had the other hand out for money.

"They want to be a part of the world community. They want peace in their country."

The Roes said they will celebrate Sophie's Cambodian culture with her as she grows up. Jim returned from Phnom Penh with trinkets from the country - enough for 18 birthdays, he said. They kept her Cambodian surname, Polida, as her middle name. The couple also bought numerous children's books about Cambodia, and they have albums full of photos cataloging Jim's trip - step by step.

"Sophie got into my arms smiling," Jim said of his first contact with his daughter. "And hasn't stopped."