Money, hope lost in failed adoptions

Money, hope lost in failed adoptions

Calif. business with Iowa ties has burned some clients

By DAN GEARINO, Courier Des Moines Bureau

SIOUX CITY --- Becky and Jason Heikkila were going to adopt a baby boy. They traveled to New Mexico for his birth and stayed there for three days. They named him, held him and planned their lives with him.

But this joyful time turned to heartbreak when the baby's mother decided to back out of the adoption. The mother -- whose husband was in jail and who had an on-again-off-again boyfriend --- decided to raise the child herself.

The Heikkilas were emotionally wrecked as they returned home to Canton, S.D., a small town that borders the northwest corner of Iowa. They were also financially wrecked, having spent nearly $20,000 in nonrefundable adoption expenses --- almost a year's salary for Becky, a school librarian.

"I was shocked and panicked," Heikkila said.

In the months that followed, they replayed the events in their minds. They questioned if they had been victims of an adoption business that cared more about their money than a good match.

This story, which took place two years ago, is not an isolated case, according to interviews with other prospective adoptive parents.

The adoption was arranged through Adoption Insight, based in Holtville, Calif. Laurie Aragon is the company's owner and founder. Her office is a two-hour drive east of San Diego and 10 miles north of the Mexican border --- but right in the middle of the Iowa adoption industry.

Adoption Insight matches prospective adoptive parents with pregnant women planning for adoption as an adoption facilitator, often using Web sites and nationwide classified advertising.

"I've been in business since 1999. I do a lot of adoptions. I have a lot of satisfied clients," Aragon said in a telephone interview.

Adoption attorney Mark McDermott of Maryland, former president of the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys, warned that facilitators are virtually unregulated, with little federal oversight and a patchwork of state laws.

"They're just people who aren't licensed or regulated by anybody. They just hang up a shingle saying 'I'm an adoption facilitator.' They're real bad news," he said.

Iowa is one of roughly a dozen states without rules specifically limiting adoption advertising or the use of facilitators, according to the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, part of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

In reports Sunday and Monday, the Lee Enterprises Des Moines Bureau examined a pattern of adoptions in Sioux City in which pregnant women relocated from across the country to place their children for adoption in Iowa, often to prospective adoptive parents from other states.

Sioux City adoption attorney Maxine Buckmeier represented several of the adoptive parents, who underwrite the pregnant women's living expenses. But she has outside help in recruiting the pregnant women and the adoptive families, say prospective adoptive parents, from Aragon and other facilitators.

Impatience leads to pain

Heikkila, 33, selected Adoption Insight because the company seemed to make adoptions happen much faster than traditional adoption agencies.

She and her husband had previously adopted through a nonprofit agency. They had to wait a year for the agency to locate a mother and make the match. She later learned this is a normal wait time through an agency.

Heikkila saw that Adoption Insight --- called Adoption Wise before 2004 --- had dozens of mothers willing to place a child for adoption. Heikkila felt comfortable with Aragon.

Within a few months, Aragon helped match them with a mother in Colorado planning to move to New Mexico, Heikkila said. One condition was that the Heikkilas would have to pay the mother's living expenses in New Mexico, including rent, food and other essentials. The prospective adoptive parents later learned these payments are illegal in some states, such as Delaware, but are legal in many others, including New Mexico and Iowa.

The Heikkilas talked to the mother several times a week and visited her over Easter break that year, months before she gave birth. The mother continued to live in the apartment for at least three weeks after she had decided to parent the child herself, with that rent paid in advance by the Heikkilas.

In hindsight, Becky Heikkila felt like the mother cared more about the living expenses than the adoption.

After the New Mexico adoption fell through, the couple said Aragon was undeterred. She suggested a match with a woman living in a Sioux City apartment. The Heikkilas said Aragon told them Buckmeier, the Sioux City attorney, would take care of the details. It would cost up to $10,000 more than they had already spent.

"By that time, I said, 'Not on your life,'" Heikkila said.

Buckmeier only vaguely recalled this situation because the Heikkilas never made that match. She said the pregnant woman was a long-term Sioux City resident who explored matches with several couples.

Soon after, Becky Heikkila asked Adoption Insight for a refund of the initial $7,000 fee and threatened to sue. Heikkila said Aragon eventually mailed a $3,500 refund, reducing the overall financial loss to about $16,400.

When they adopted again, it was through a nonprofit agency specializing in international adoptions.

Aragon spoke to a reporter three weeks ago, cutting off the conversation after a few minutes because of other calls coming in. She said she could "write a whole book" about the Heikkilas' experience.

She said she handles about 30 adoptions per year, most of which go well.

Aragon asked that any future questions be submitted by e-mail. In response, she wrote that 90 percent of the matches she makes result in an adoption, that the Heikkilas could have backed out at any point.

'It just seemed wrong'

In the two years since the experience in New Mexico, the Heikkilas have contacted other adoptive parents who dealt with Adoption Insight and found their story was not unique.

A Wisconsin woman agreed to an interview if her name was not printed. She is afraid that being identified will make other adoption professionals reluctant to work with her.

She and her husband went through two failed adoptions with Adoption Insight within a month. Each time, she and her husband took time off from work and traveled long distances, excited to finally adopt. Each time, they headed home emotionally devastated because the mother kept the baby.

Within days of the second failed adoption, the Wisconsin woman was offered a third situation, this one in Sioux City, and handled by Buckmeier. A mother would be moving from the West to live in an apartment before giving birth.

"The whole thing about them relocating this mother, it just seemed suspicious to me. Why would they do that and why would they support her? It just seemed wrong," she said.

The prospective adoptive mother rejected the situation and severed her ties with Aragon. She demanded a refund of the $5,000 initial fee paid to Aragon, finally getting a check for $3,500.

A reporter made contact with three other Adoption Insight customers, only one of whom would recommend the company.

Traci Johnston, 30, of Des Moines, praised Adoption Insight for the way Buckmeier handled an adoption last year, involving a long-term Sioux City resident.

Johnston, a special-education teacher, said Aragon was "so kind" and Buckmeier "handled everything professionally." She and her husband spent about $25,000 on the adoption. The wait was only two months, compared to two years expected from a nonprofit agency.

Buckmeier, who helped set up the interview with Johnston, said Adoption Insight does a great job.

"When the situation doesn't work out, (prospective adoptive parents) feel the need to blame somebody," she said.

Risks can be reduced

There are no reliable statistics about how often mothers of newborns make an adoption plan then decide to parent the baby themselves. Iowa City adoption attorney Lori Klockau, who was not involved in the cases described in this report, said last-minute changes of heart are rare. She can recall only three in her 14-year career.

A November survey by Adoptive Families magazine found that 29 percent of readers polled had a domestic adoption fail before one succeeded.

Klockau said one way to reduce the risk is to screen out expectant mothers who aren't serious about adoption, don't understand the process, or appear mainly interested in getting money. She said adoption professionals should inform clients about the level of financial and emotional risk.

"Adoptive parents have to be careful because there are pregnant women out there (who) really don't have any intention of giving their child up for adoption," Klockau said.

'We provide solutions'

So who is Laurie Aragon? According to her Web site, she is an adoptive parent and certified nursing assistant who opened a nonprofit adoption consultancy in 1999 called Adoption Wise.

"I believe adoption should be as affordable as giving birth to your own babies and can be a wonderful experience for both the adoptive families and birth parents," she writes in a message her Web site indicates was posted in June 2003.

Six months later, she posted a message on the site, changing the company to for-profit status and its name to Adoption Insight.

An Internet search of common phrases in Adoption Insight ads turned up recent examples in Arkansas, California, Colorado and Pennsylvania. They all list the same toll-free number, which connects to a 24-hour answering service in Holtville.

"Pregnant and alone?" begins an ad from a free newspaper in Monmouth, Ill. "We can help! We provide solutions, not judgment. Free confidential consultation. Relocation and financial assistance available. Adoption Insight."

Aragon argues that she runs a good business and won't let her critics get her down.

"The sad thing is, in adoption, the only people who complain are the people who really have no reason or right to complain," she said.

Contact Dan Gearino at (515) 243-0138 or dan.gearino@lee.net.