I don't know what to write.

ok so I don't have a particular on topic subject to write about. I was wondering if you guys had any trouble working with bosses in the past because of similarities with your parents?? I realized I have to know that my bosses are nOT my parents..and ok truth be told, since I forgave my parents..and took accountability for some things I did, things kind of got better. I'm not saying that I was responsible for what they did for me when I was younger because I had no control of the situation back then but...as I got older I kind of came to expect them to beat me and abuse me so much that the situation kept repeating itself OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER until it was to the absolute point of exhaustion and pithlessness (is that the right word?? :))

Anyway, I suppose that I just wanted to share that an important part for me was to forgive them. I'm just writing whatever is in my heart right now so forgive me if it's not in order or whatever, haha.

ok so with the flow...

And once I told them I forgave them I had the choice then whether or not to be attached to them or what have you. But I didn't have that awful pain of bondage anymore. I despised that feeling and it made me feel like death. Ok but that was the past and the past is over...I just hope that if and when I have kids one day...that I can stop this pattern of awfulness I mean I have to...but have felt afraid about having kids. I've read so many psych books on abuse and such..I want to start some kind of advocacy for it..some kind of education that we can put into schools.

Because there was really not enough help for these kinds of situations when I wanted to get help. I wonder if there is today.

And now the opportunities have been very very good for me. I have had many opportunities. ok!!! another thing. how do you all APPRECIATE the things that are given to you?? I have found that I felt so undeserving that I have often self sabatoged things very GREAT things..and didn't know how to keep them. or well usually just self-sabatoged them. relationships, jobs, career opportunities. DREAMS coming true!!! ok <3 ya guys

Jane

e