Introduction

Hello,

My name is Sheala. I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. I was adopted by my grandfather and step-grandmother. My adoptive father started molesting me at a very young age. On the day of my 8th grade graduation, I was held down and raped for the first time, but not the last. I was raped both vaginally and rectally. I went through such emotional distress that I prayed that I would die. I wanted to die so badly, but it wasn't to be. After college, I moved to Ohio. I stayed at home to protect my niece and nephew that lived with us and my mother.  He threatened her a lot with a gun.

I still put up with the abuse. When he tried to move on to my niece, I told. His abuse days were over. I found out that I was number 4. My adopted mother was the first. She was his step-daughter at one time. She was told by her mother that she had to marry him. She didn't know better back then. My real mother was another, and one of her younger sisters. I was the last. I later met a man and we dated for 9 months and were planning to marry. When he dumped me, I was having irrational thoughts of death. I was starving myself. I was only 92 lbs. I asked God to kill me. I pleaded with him. Six weeks after my breakup, I found out that I was 6 weeks pregnant. She is God's gift to me to. She was my way to hold on.  I guess that he had bigger things for me.  In 1997, I got married. My abuser is died a few months later, but I still live with the after effects of what happened to me. I am over protective of my daughter.

Most of my family don't understand how I can't just forget what their father done to me. They weren't abused by him. One sister and three brothers that lived around us, were not victims. One other sister and brother never lived with us. He had many women, and children in different states. They were the lucky ones. I wrote a book about my life and how I survived, but my family isn't happy.  They want me to take it off the market. Too late. My mission is to help my self while I help others.