exposing the dark side of adoption
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Adoption, paper pregnancies, and the anti-abortion message

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Over the years, I have had the pleasure of experiencing a meeting-with-the-minds with a few really awesome (and very honest) Amoms.  Among the topics we discuss is the 'paper pregnancy', as exhibited in blogs that help explain what a paper pregnancy means.  As one blogger puts it, paper pregnancy is the technical term for one who is wading through the mountains of nightmarish paperwork required to bring home a precious child from somewhere other than her own body.

Apparently, among the signs and symptoms of a PP there is, a bizarre compulsion to buy various t-shirts and jewelry with pictures of her child's country on it. For those who need a visual, feel free to look at a couple fabricated maternity photos.

Yes, let it be known adoptive parents can be just as creepy as over-excited breeders when it comes to showing-off their decision that family planning (and baby producing) has begun.

And after quite a few animated discussions, I am happy to announce I am not alone with my disgust as it relates to tacky displays on various body parts... all showing where baby comes from and originates.  [Have you seen the IVF/infertility-wear?  Hint:  google "Waiting for my rainbow baby."]

<shaking head>

I get that adoption is the pro-life's answer to abortion.

I get that adoption "saves lives" and "creates families", and in some cases, becomes the answer to many tear-filled prayers and tantrums.

I also get how some circles within the adoption industry have used single/unwed pregnant women as a means to make money and earn God-points, simultaneously...all by selling gifting babies to the infertile via infant adoption and renaming a pregnancy, the crisis pregnancy.  [Oh the horrors of the CRISIS pregnancy... the pregnancy no sane woman wants for herself!  Oh Mr. Internet salesperson!,... got an arrow pointing T-shirt for that?]

I also get how some regions in the world are known to exploit a woman's reproductive abilities.... all so service fees can be obtained.  [See:  India's surrogacy programs]

So, after having yet another in-depth discussion (with a very astute Amom) about the many wrongs done to make an adoption dream a reality (start the spelling with s-t-o-l-e-n ), I find myself wondering.... how many expectant PAPs really take the time to think how a fabricated paper pregnancy is seen through the eyes of the adopted child... or birth mom?  How many  people take the time to consider the various different ways advertising the adoption option will affect children placed in new homes, with new families... in different countries?

To be fair, people need to remember,  one person's paper pregnancy is in essence another person's paper abortion... or kidnapping.

I hardly see reason to celebrate the paper abortion (or legal abduction) via a nifty T shirt purchased via the Internet.  It's simply in poor taste.  Very poor.

by Kerry on Wednesday, 17 August 2011