The power of the Internet/Blogs.
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public
During my childhood and adolescence, I had always avoided talking about adoption for many reasons. The first reason was that I was ashamed of being sold and rejected by a whole nation. The right feelings expected from the society were gratitude and happiness. The feelings of rejection, shame, hatred, anger, depression were the "wrong feelings" so I had to hide them.
I first started using yahoo 360 to write about my feelings. It was the first time I was writing my "wrong" feelings about my adoption, my hatred and anger at Holt, at Koreans, at my A-parents. I was the only person who could read my own blog because I made it private. I knew there was no ear to listen or no eyes to read but I felt good. I needed to be heard so I made it public but not for a long time. The shame of feeling what I wasn't supposed to feel prevented me to leave it public.
The first site that helped me a lot to express myself is the transracial abductee site. I found it about a year ago by chance. For the first time of my adoptee's life, I felt that I wasn't alone. I felt relieved to read the messages written by other adoptees with the same feelings than mine. Unfortunelately, after few weeks, I thought that maybe all these adoptees died or maybe they have learned to feel the right feelings. I felt more alone than before. Since then, I found some adoptees forum, again by chance.
I started reading (domestic and international) adoptees blogs and I started blogging (in French) myself in December 2007. Few weeks ago, a journalist from France contacted me through my blog. He said he was interested in doing a documentary on the child trafficking in international adoption. We have been corresponding since then and today, I have been interviewed about my adoption. We are hoping that his reportage will be accepted by a producer and television.
I first started using yahoo 360 to write about my feelings. It was the first time I was writing my "wrong" feelings about my adoption, my hatred and anger at Holt, at Koreans, at my A-parents. I was the only person who could read my own blog because I made it private. I knew there was no ear to listen or no eyes to read but I felt good. I needed to be heard so I made it public but not for a long time. The shame of feeling what I wasn't supposed to feel prevented me to leave it public.
The first site that helped me a lot to express myself is the transracial abductee site. I found it about a year ago by chance. For the first time of my adoptee's life, I felt that I wasn't alone. I felt relieved to read the messages written by other adoptees with the same feelings than mine. Unfortunelately, after few weeks, I thought that maybe all these adoptees died or maybe they have learned to feel the right feelings. I felt more alone than before. Since then, I found some adoptees forum, again by chance.
I started reading (domestic and international) adoptees blogs and I started blogging (in French) myself in December 2007. Few weeks ago, a journalist from France contacted me through my blog. He said he was interested in doing a documentary on the child trafficking in international adoption. We have been corresponding since then and today, I have been interviewed about my adoption. We are hoping that his reportage will be accepted by a producer and television.