exposing the dark side of adoption
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Mothers with mental disabilities?

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I found a blog entry about a mentally disabled woman whose 7th child was put in foster care, and whether women like her should be sterilized.

My opinion is that either we should decide as a society that we'll give mothers with any kind of disability whatever support they need to play a role in their child's life, OR we should be up-front and tell disabled people that they will not be allowed to raise a child, so they might as well get sterilized and save themselves the trouble.  Instead, I've seen too many cases where CPS took a baby but told the mother it was because of some (frequently trivial or even total BS) thing she did wrong, leaving her thinking that if she had another baby, and either didn't make any mistakes, or didn't have some anal-retentive social worker distorting and exaggerating every mistake she made, then she'd be able to raise her baby. So, these women end up enduring pregnancy after pregnancy and heart-breaking loss after loss, because CPS just can't be honest and tell them to get sterilized.   Oh, and if someone's a little unstable to begin with, how sane will they be after having their babies taken away?                        

Of course, I'm looking at this from the mother's perspective. So, what do you kids think? What if you found out that your birth mother was mildly retarded, and that CPS had told her that they took you away because her apartment wasn't clean enough, so she had 6 more babies, and CPS kept finding something she did wrong to use as a reason to take them?   

One of the women I knew who went through this was a sweet person, but didn't know stuff like where meat came from. She kept baby books of her ultrasounds and the newborn pictures, and whatever pictures she got after the babies were put in foster care. She gave me a box of maternity clothes and baby things, since I was pregnant with my first child. At the time, I wasn't sure how much of her story to believe, and I'm still not, but since then I've heard too many similar stories to doubt that some of the details are true.

by eomaia on Sunday, 22 June 2008