exposing the dark side of adoption
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How do you wear your hair?

public

Short, long, covered or curled?

It's no secret a woman's hair is her crowned jewel, as most orthodox religions will require their women to cover (or even shave) their locks before the presence of other men.

Why?

I'm thinking it's a jealousy-thing.

Perhaps they don't want other men looking at, or grabbing (like cave-men) their women.

Perhaps long flowing hair is a sign of health and beauty... of strength and virility in genes that a woman possesses, and that's a secret a man wants to keep all to himself and his concubine.

What the hell do I know?

I have four kids.

Four heads of hair. (Not including my own, of course)

My oldest, when she was born, had hair that was white-blond.  It became brown when she turned three.  She never let me brush it, and hated to wear it up.  It always had to be straight down.  And it was.  S-t-r-a-i-g-h-t.  Until just this past year... now it's gotten wavy.  My hair was much the same way when I was little, so I'm thinking it has to do with hormones kicking-in, giving her body a new twist to everything.

My second-born came-out with dark-hair.  That was weird.  But then, he really was.  He was all shoulders, colicky and angry from the beginning.  He was a horrid looking and acting little beast.  It wasn't until his hair lightened, at around 5-6 months that his disposition changed, as well.  His hair is soft and shaggy.  I love it.  I love teasing him when he doesn't wash it.  I tell him, "Bubbles makes it smell pretty, and you know how much I love pretty things!".  Truth is, he loves when I play with his hair, so I notice him washing his hair more often.  That boy has great soft dark blond hair.  It's beautiful, with a little crazy wave to it, if he keeps it a bit long.

The younger two are still young.  Hubman likes the boys to keep military buzz-cuts, so my youngest has a brown fuzzy head.  It's fun to feel.  He likes rubbing his hand on his head, calling it his own "nubbies".  Mr. B (his nickname) has always been a strange little dude, always into textures.  I like that about him.  He loves to feel things and see what makes them operate.  His curiosity lends itself to a great imagination and terrific drawings.  He has little ON his head, but much going inside it.

My little diva loves her hair.  Hair to her, was made for styling.  Just as long as no knots are involved, she's good to go.  Her huge interest is color, texture and fragrance.  She loves hair products!  I pity the man she marries one day.  If ever there is a child in our family determined to get married, it's her.  If not for love, certainly for the fashion-party opportunity.

As for myself?

My hair is a strange-story.  One that has gone through many transformations.  I was told I was Irish, and Irish-girls have blonde hair, so for the longest time I colored my hair blond, thinking that was my "natural coloring".  A couple years ago, during a very dark time in my life, I worked at Victoria's Secret, part-time, a few days a week - just to get put of the house and to learn how to FEEL like a Girl, "again".  I was, at the time, one of the oldest females working among very young pretty girls.  It was very intimidating, to say the least.  But I learned how to be Me, and like myself for who I was, because they liked me and my quirky personality.

They taught me how to wear make-up.  They taught me I needed to pluck my eye-brows ("what eye-brows?").  They taught me I was beautiful.

I felt like a million dollars every time I worked with my buddies.

I left working there because I'm a mom.

My children need me HOME.

I learned a very valuable lesson working at VS.

Beauty is how we present ourselves, and it's brought out through those surrounding us.

Why a man wouldn't want a woman to feel beautiful and proud of herself is beyond me.

Covering her body and shaming her teaches her and her children, "You are no good as you are, hide because you are disgusting!"

At least, that's how I always saw myself.

My hair now is in it's natural-state.  No more colorings and no more hair-cuts.

It's long, it's brown, it's curly, and yes, dare I say, it's very sexy.  Most of all, my children LOVE it!

by Kerry on Wednesday, 12 September 2007