Alone, again

"The more things change, the more things stay the same."  How true this is for me.

I fear being ALONE.  Yet I don't know how to manage well with another person always around me.

I enjoy the company of others, but only in small controlled doses.

Loud noise is obnoxious to me, and fake sincerity is a stench I can smell miles away from me.

I am a loner, yet hate being alone, even on websites.

When I come to the website I anally check two things.  I check New Comments and Visitors.

These are my vital-statistics.

Am I alone in my opinion, and am I alone in my interest in razed adoptees?  The numbers tell me I have found the right path.

For now I lead in lonely formation, but in my heart of hearts, I expect the silent soliloquy to change.

The statistical data from the web-host page tells me I am visited daily by people around the globe.

We have lovely maps and flags to show our numbers.

Yet, it's the number I see written at the bottom of each page that inspires me.

PPL is busy with silent visitors.

People ARE reading the message I am sending.

That message is simple:  Help is needed for those who got hurt by and through the adoption system.

We are a number large in international audience, but we are a silent (and deadly) group that remains unseen and unfelt by popular vote and decision.

One day, that will be changed... and I can only hope and pray God will allow me this opportunity to vent the voice that cries in pained isolation:  "I do not want to be ALONE any more".

We are not Alone; we simply need to find the voice that speaks the truth, and let it grow in length and volume.

I am a beginning.

The rest of my silent brothers and sisters will give rise to their voice when they are strong and ready.

I will wait, and do what I have to do to keep the message alive... and pray others will join me in an interest in people and places that go beyond my own life-experience.