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Morristown New Jersey event

From Adoption-News-Service

Micky Duxbury is the author of the recently released  book entitled: MAKING ROOM IN OUR HEARTS: Keeping Family Ties Through Open Adoption. 

The book presents the stories of families throughout the United States who share the joys and challenges of maintaining relationships between birth and adoptive parents.  Duxbury interviewed over one hundred and fifty birth and adoptive parents, extended family members, adopted children, and national experts. Listening to the families and their children does what no other book has done: describes how important open adoption is from the child’s perspective. As one 19 year old put it: "I have known my birth mother as long as I can remember and I can't imagine it any other way. I would be a completely different person if I had grown up without knowing who I was and where I came from. Open adoption has allowed me to be the person I was intended to be - with a connection to the people who made me what I am.” 

Man shoots ill girlfriend, rapes girl, then kills himself

from sptimes.com

A life filled with family turmoil ends as he feels everything closing in on him.

SHANNON COLAVECCHIO-VAN SICKLER
Published August 18, 2004

TAMPA - Robert G. Able started his crime odyssey Monday morning by shooting his ailing girlfriend, once in the head and once in her heart.

Then he lured a 12-year-old neighborhood girl into his home and raped her.

Less than 24 hours later, as police searched the city for him, Able shot himself in the head with the same gun. He died inside a pickup truck at the Bill Currie Ford body shop where he has worked for the past 16 years.

In between, police say, the 40-year-old former neighborhood crime watch leader visited the Don Garlits Museum of Drag Racing south of Ocala and found time to write a suicide note with detailed instructions on how to care for the Rottweiler and three mixed-breed dogs he left behind.

Police say Able apparently caved in to the pressures of mounting debt and his girlfriend's health troubles.

Veronica J. Maddox, 40, had diabetes and arterial-venous malformation in her brain, a condition that meant an oversized vein could burst at any time, killing her.

JUDGE REFUSES TO ALLOW REOPENING OF ADOPTION FIRM

By: PATRICK MAY
The Miami Herald

August 24, 1985

A Coral Springs man who state officials say has been illegally arranging adoptions failed Friday to convince a Broward judge to let him reopen his business.

Circuit Judge Larry Korda refused to lift the temporary injunction he had placed April 25 against Richard Gitelman, president of the National Adoption Counseling Service. That order bars him from conducting any adoption-related business in Florida.

Foster-care in a state of disrepair

Wow.

I found this outstanding website that focuses on the failures of Child Protective Services.  For those who think adoption is all about saving orphaned babies, please read between the lies Adoption Web-sites are selling people.  Read what's really happening:

from: fightcps.com/

Alone, again

"The more things change, the more things stay the same."  How true this is for me.

I fear being ALONE.  Yet I don't know how to manage well with another person always around me.

I enjoy the company of others, but only in small controlled doses.

Loud noise is obnoxious to me, and fake sincerity is a stench I can smell miles away from me.

I am a loner, yet hate being alone, even on websites.

When I come to the website I anally check two things.  I check New Comments and Visitors.

These are my vital-statistics.

Adoption's Shadow History

http://www.mmdnewswire.com/adoptis-shdow-history-1762-2.html 

Adoption's Shadow History

June 21, 2007 by Barbara Bisantz Raymond

Adoption, a respected institution that has brought millions of people joy, has a secret history. Its architect was a criminal named Georgia Tann, who from 1924 to 1950 operated out of Memphis, Tennessee, terrorizing poor, often single parents by stealing their children and placing them with wealthy adoptive parents, including Joan Crawford and Dick Powell.

Mother kept toddlers indoors, and the mother superior of a local orphanage hid children in attics, but, protected by political boss Edward Hull Crump, Georgia Tann arranged more than 5,000 illegal adoptions. She also killed so many children through neglect that the Memphis infant mortality rate soared to the highest in the nation. She sexually abused some of her female charges and placed some children with pedophiles.

While building her black market business, she also invented modern American adoption. It’s hard to underestimate her influence. When she began working in Tennessee in the 1920s, adoption as we know it didn’t exist. Eugenicists had made Americans afraid to adopt, and thousands of children were languishing in orphanages.

Adoption abuse

Lawsuit: Abuse claims overlooked
Ex-state employee takes court action

Post staff report

A former state social worker has filed a whistle blower lawsuit against two of her former supervisors with the Kentucky Cabinet for Health and Family Services, alleging they pressured her to overlook allegations of abuse in foster homes that were trying to adopt special-needs children.

The pressure was applied because the cabinet was under the gun to approve more adoptions so it wouldn't lose federal subsidies, the suit says.

The suit was filed Jan. 14 in U.S. District Court in Covington by Pat Moore of Elsmere, who, the suit said, was forced to resign as Northern Kentucky Health and Family Services Office Permanency Team supervisor when she refused to comply with her superiors' orders to keep quiet about abuse claims and allow the adoptions of special-needs children to proceed.

Michael Moore Where Are You?

http://familypreservation.blogspot.com/2007/06/michael-moore-where-are-you.html

Sunday, June 24, 2007
Michael Moore Where Are You?

The adoption industry needs a Michel Moore figure to bring public attention to the corruption and harm being done in the name of child protective services.

Michael Moore, is on tour not just promoting his latest expose documentary Sicko a cinematic indictment of the American health care system. He has also pushed his prescription for reform: a single-payer system, with the government as insurer, that would guarantee access to health care for all Americans and put the private insurance industry out of business.

What a unique idea! Government actually helping the end user instead of big business! If only. Government actually being what it was intended to be - what we were all taught as children it was: of the people, by the people and for the people. But what has become instead of the rich, by the rich and for the rich. United Corporate America. In the almighty dollar we trust.

How to adopt, raise, and train a great dog.

The Perfect Pooch

By The Editors of Men's Health

"Your dog will always look to you for leadership. He wants it," says Brian Kilcommons, a dog trainer and the author of My Smart Puppy. "You can't let him get the best of you." Here are three fundamental principles of assuming the alpha role:

1. Take the Pole Position

International adoption can be risky endeavor with shadowy agencies, heartbreak

from: sltrib.com

Kirsten Stewart
The Salt Lake Tribune
June 18, 2007

When Walt Webster signed up with Focus on Children last November to adopt two Kazakhstani girls, the Utah adoption agency neglected to mention it was under criminal investigation.

Four months later, the agency's owners were charged with violating immigration laws to bring Samoan children into the country. Webster remained oblivious.

Man, 19, sought in Ottawa slaying

from: cbc.ca

Last Updated: Monday, June 18, 2007 | 8:48 AM ET
CBC News

A man is wanted on a Canada-wide warrant after the slaying of an Ottawa woman who neighbours say was his adopted mother.

An arrest warrant on a charge of first-degree murder against Aaron Howard, 19, was issued on Saturday morning after a woman was found dead in a west end home at about 4:20 Friday afternoon, an Ottawa police news release said.

Dogs or Humans? Business or Caring?

Current entry at Richard Wexler's NCCPR Child Welfare Blog

http://www.nccpr.org/reports/blog.htm

June 11, 2007

WHEN THE FOSTER CARE DEBATE GOES TO THE DOGS

Last week’s post to this Blog dealt with the issue of reimbursement for foster parents. At the end of that post, I wrote that it seemed as though every story I’ve ever read about this issue included the same false analogy, almost always presented in the same terms of shock and outrage. And sure enough, when the issue of raising foster-parent reimbursement arose in California last month, there was this from Capital Public Radio:

“The average Californian pays more to kennel their dog than our state pays to support the care of foster children.”

And this from the San Jose Mercury News:

"The average kennel charges you $620 a month for taking care of a dog," said the measure's author, Assemblyman Jim Beall, D-San Jose, "so our kids don't even get as much money as a dog."

adoption issues on CD

AAC's 28th International Conference.

CDs from the conference are available. Click Here to access the PDF Order Form.

Mental Floss: Bastards who made a name for themselves

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Accusing someone of illegitimate birth has long been one of the greatest insults possible, so it's not at all surprising that some of history's greatest shoulder-mounted chips have been securely fastened to people with murky parentage. In fact, by the look of the names on this list, it just might be a recipe for success.

CONFUCIUS (ca. 551-479 BCE)

UK following in US $$ footsteps

www.dailymail.co.uk

The scandal of the baby snatchers
By SUE REID 

8th June 2007

Crystal Walton: A pawn in a shameful adoption system

This picture was used to advertise Crystal's availability for adoption - appearing in a tabloid national newspaper with an accompanying blurb describing her as a "clever, lively, cheerful toddler" who likes puzzles and swimming.

A phone number was printed alongside for anyone interested in becoming her new parents.

Perhaps a million people saw the heart-breaking advert which had been placed by a London council, and streams of callers offered to take care of her.

Yet that is not the whole story. The truth is that Crystal had become a pawn in an adoption system that should shame

"Why wasn't I told? Making sense of the late discovery of adoption"

Lynne Pearl, Post Adoption Resource Centre  

What do we know about these particular late discovery adoptive families? Are they in fact radically different from those where adoption is open?

We would need to look at a comparative sample of adoptive families to be able to answer this question with any degree of accuracy. However, from our own sample of 40 people it is interesting to note that over a quarter of the participants, in fact indicated that their adoptions were unhappy prior to the late discovery disclosure.

Could it be said that the keeping of the secret created an environment where guilt and blame flourished? Is the secrecy about adoption symptomatic of unresolved issues of the adoptive parents? These are confronting and controversial questions.

Controlling our own boundaries

A silent plague of fear, dread, stress and abusive behavior is born from child-abuse, and I strongly believe it's very foolish to think these problems exist only in "First-Families"!   Abuse is a family-tradition passed from generation to generation, infiltrating and infecting the life-stories of far too many to count.  For the abused-adoptee this is a double-whammy, because those are family traditions that did not have to be passed to a child of pure innocence.  No one has yet dared to count the numbers of adoptees abused by adoptive family

Florida couple arrested on child-abuse charges

from: Deseret Morning News

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) — A couple was arrested on neglect charges for allegedly forcing their malnourished 17-year-old adopted son to sleep in a locked cage. The teenager was wearing a diaper and weighed just 49 pounds when he was found.

Wilson and Brenda Sullivan were ordered jailed Wednesday on $200,000 bail.

Parents need to know about Megan's Law

Do you know who's caring for your children?  Do you even KNOW who has your children?  Does relinquishing parental rights mean all care and concern for that child's well-being are null and void?  Please read the following, and ask, does a natural parent have the right to know if his/her child has been raped or murdered by a stranger.....  (text is taken from: wikipediaConsider, too, how many children have been adopted/put in foster care prior to 1994.

The first Megan's Law was passed in New Jersey in 1994 after the rape and murder of Megan Kanka. Jesse Timmendequas, who years earlier had pleaded guilty to the attempted aggravated sexual assault of a girl, was convicted of Kanka's rape and murder and was sentenced to death, although he maintains that he is innocent of the charges and continues to fight his conviction and sentence.

The Megan Kanka Foundation suggests, "Every parent should have the right to know if a dangerous sexual predator moves into their neighborhood." That is the core principle of the law: parents should know when a sex offender moves into the neighborhood so they can protect their children.

Adoption

from: wpunj.edu
Betty Reid Mandell

Not By Choice

from: eclectica.org
by Karen Wilson-Buterbaugh

For some time, I have wondered how in the world I got to this place. I have always tried to do the right thing in life, yet the results from making wrong choices were constantly staring me in the face. An example, and granted it is a huge one, was getting pregnant at the age of seventeen, which caused the loss of my child to adoption.

Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons

Factsheet for Families

Author(s):  Child Welfare Information Gateway
Year Published:  2004 

Often when people hear the word "adoption," they think of an infertile, childless couple delightedly gazing into the eyes of their recently adopted newborn baby. They are thrilled to finally be parents, and are totally involved in meeting the immediate needs of the child. But what about the years that follow? Do the effects of adoption stop the moment that a child comes home to the new parents?

Those closely associated with adoption-adult adopted persons, birth parents, adoptive parents, and their friends and families-know that its effects can be felt for a long time, in fact for a lifetime. Adult adoptees often talk about them.1 For example, Steve Harris, a 39-year-old program director at a Dallas radio station who was adopted as an infant, has been plagued with low self-esteem throughout his life. Marie Haverton, a 24-year-old office manager who was adopted at birth, has always been afraid that people are going to leave her, whether it is the men she dates or the people with whom she works. Mary Lou Roman did not know she had been adopted until she was 17 and about to be married. Her parents could not produce her birth certificate, but instead handed her the legal document stating that she had been adopted. Suddenly she knew why she had so many identity problems in her early teenage years.

Another loving family for Mihaela

Ann McElhinney reports on new revelations regarding Romanian orphan Mihaela and her life before Ireland and the Hughes family

DOLLS and teddy bears line a bedroom overlooking the garden of a detached house in Romania. But the child who owns the toys is in Dundalk with a family who love her and don't want her to go home.

Mihaela Florica-Porumbaru is four-years-old and oblivious to the diplomatic storm brewing around her. But her name could soon become a by-word for the already fraught relations between Romania and Ireland.

The ONE

Kathy Freston from the Oprah.com exclusive "Rules to Live and Love By"

'The One: Discovering the Secrets of Soul Mate Love' by Kathy Freston From The Publisher:
How do you find that one perfect person who will lead you into true love? And how do you push past your old limitations to embrace this divine opportunity? In her hit debut, Expect a Miracle, meditation coach Kathy Freston showed readers how to visualize a lasting relationship. Now, in The One, she teaches us to identify and nurture the deep and penetrating bliss of "soul mate love."

Soul mate love is a mystical partnership that exposes us to the most profound life lessons and gifts. The One is about finding that relationship and keeping it strong, but also about embracing the spiritual path that partnership offers. With soul mate love we learn to recognize the divine spirit in each of our hearts and go beyond the self so that two in a relationship truly can become One.

Kathy Freston delivers a powerful breakthrough prescription for how to awaken and sustain soul mate love by tapping into the spiritual power we all have within.

Letting Go

We celebrated the twin's birthday this past weekend.  One of the balloons escaped from the car.  It was Katie's pink balloon, the one she wanted most.

Mother's Helpers, or replacement moms?

I'm sorry, but this article caught my attention and I felt like it should be posted someplace where the role of "mom" was taken very seriously.  Am I to assume correctly that an adoptive mother is more likely to stay home with her child?  Is that why adoption is such a popular choice these days?  OR, has the Woman's Movement made it impossible for any mother to be home with her baby?  Seems to me so much gets lost when a mother is not with her baby, regardless of the financial circumstance.  Maybe I'm a dinosaur, with old-world standards, but if it's

Cashing in on the baby 'rescue'

Irish people were unwittingly involved in a baby trade from Romania in the 1990s, EU research reveals. The myth that Romanian children need to be 'rescued' by foreigners has been shattered since Romania banned international adoptions, writes Ann McElhinney in Bucharest.

Sons and Daughters

Over the past few years I've gotten many letters from male-adoptees telling me about the sad confusion they felt after the birth of their own children.  The overwhelming grief shared by these men was in the question of "How?"  "How does a woman get rid of her baby?  How does a mother do that to her own son?"

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