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Tangled adoption suit heads to trial

'Let's get this taken care of,' judge admonishes feuding couples after hearing in bitter dispute

By Pamela Manson
The Salt Lake Tribune

'Identical Strangers' Explore Nature Vs. Nurture

from: npr.org


Shall we buy one...

This is soooo funny! You can actually buy a CD: adoption volume 1 the songs we love. Hysterical. the songs include I Knew I Loved You - Jenee Wright Prince / by Darren Hayes & Daniel Jones/WB Music Corp.

2. From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours - Linsey Brinkerhoff / by Michael McLean/Shining Star Music, Inc.

3. Blessed - Rob Gardner / by Elton John & Bernie Taupin/WB Music Corp.

4. Silent Lullaby - Clarissa Dane / by Clarissa Dane

Priest to pregnant teen: "Deliver in Gozo and give baby for adoption"

from: maltastar.com

Owen Galea

Sat, 27 October 2007

Chad jails French over Darfur 'child trafficking'

from: Times Online

An attempt to fly 103 "orphans" from Darfur to homes in France ended in fiasco today when Chad jailed nine French citizens and their charity was accused of trafficking children.

As dozens of would-be host families waited in vain at an airport near Reims, confusion surrounded Children Rescue, an operation which had been publicised for months but appears to have flouted basic laws on children and immigration.

a new word

The touched by adoption post got me thinking (oh my head hurts haha). What a stupid pathetic lame saying. It is something a saint would say seeing and believing adoption is a truly beautiful thing. Get real. When I think of the word touched I think touched by an angel (god I love that program) or 'touched' in the head, a scouse saying for someone who is nuts, the gentle brush of a butterflies wing in the summer time.

There must be a better word than touched... I need to think

Umm... Triad, what Triad?

I first aired this on the Norcap Forum some time ago, because they seem find it difficult to get beyond the triad concept of adoption at times, even to the  point of using the impossible triangle illusion as their corporate logo.

I've always disliked the use of the words triad and triangle in adoption, which invariably involves a whole network of different people and interests, not just three. I find the triad and triangle symbolism a constant burden especially when trying to communicate with the government departments involved in adoption, they sometimes seem to find it difficult grasp just how complicated the network of broken and re-formed relationships in adoption can be.

One of the questions in the Civil Registration: Delivering Vital Change Consultation here in England & Wales was Supplementary Question S6: Do you have any views on the proposed definition of family in respect of accessing registration records? My answer was as follows

<<<........ I can see very little merit in the Government taking some arbitrary definition of family and making it a mandatory definition for the purposes of this legislation. A family should be defined by those who comprise it, and not by the state.

Families come in many shapes and sizes and different kinds. I and my brothers and sisters consider ourselves to be a "family". But we have been adopted or kept by nine different other "families" some of which include other adoptees from different "natural families" and there are probably eight different fathers involved whose "families" one or more of my half siblings also belong to.

But the law sees me only as a member of my adoptive family and my brothers and sisters as members of entirely different families.

I am pleased to be a part of my adoptive family, but it is the least useful definition of family to me in terms of investigating my genetic heritage.

It would be far more practical for the government to restrict access to information on vital records either on the basis of need to know or leave it as it is now with the proviso that anyone who feels that access to their records will endanger them can seek a Confidentiality Order.

However if the Government does decide that it is essential to have a definition of family, that definition should be as wide as possible, to include people who are related whether by blood or by adoption. In terms of blood relationship, access to cause of death information should be extended to aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, cousin, and second cousin relationships.....>>>

Since I first wrote this, I've become involved in trying to find my agnate siblings by several other mothers that my father had relationships with. It is very difficult it  to get civil servants and their Ministers to understand all of this when those of us who are supposed to understand it, all continue using the over simplified language that we often do, and I'm probably just as guilty as everyone else. Sorry to ramble on but In my opinion we really do have to be more thoughtful about the terminology that we use. I don't that mind what first mothers call themselves, but calling a thing that is as multifactorial as adoption and those affected by it is farcical

Then of course there's the politics, as I've seen Ron point out on alt.adoption  http://bbchurch.blogspot.com/  The Triad is a Five-legged Stool...

Well I'm recycling there, but wondered what you all think here, doesn't the word 'triad' really confuse what adoption is all about, when think about it adoption is just fixed form of fostering (or least it should be if get the 'lets pretend it's really ours' element of adoption), would you describe fostering as a 'triad'



catch me if you can

If they could..

Couple vows to fight surrogate who kept baby

One couple vows to continue battle with woman who decided to keep baby
By Mike Celizic
TODAYShow.com contributor
Updated: 10:56 a.m. ET Oct. 23, 2007

Despite a court ruling against them, a Florida couple vows to continue their legal battle to gain custody of a child born by the woman they hired as a surrogate, but who then decided to keep the baby.

Child adoption process needs to be transparent

from: ibnlive.com

New Delhi: Misinformation violates the rights of biological parents, of the child and the adoptive parents. And yet adoption is crucial for thousands of destitute children. So it is important to look at solutions that would make the entire process transparent and free from racketeers.

Chaya Maria Schupp is 31. She has come from Germany looking for her birth mother from Mangalore.

Thoughts on Placement

At the inception of all placements are placed thoughts ... 

"You have nothing to offer this baby" (not even me? ... I must be of no worth to my child)

"Your baby needs a mother AND a father" (read: adoptive parents)

"Welfare is a dead end for you and your baby" (as if the mother would need such assistance interminably)

Your teen-age daughter tells you "I'm pregnant". As a parent, you....


Game for adoptees, fosterees...


Sahayla - Forever the Princess

The sun went in

the clouds came out


I heard the silence shout

I lay on the beech

I closed my eyes

the whistling wind

carried my cries

Along the shore

footprints in sand

I drift back in time

Forever at peace

Go push your trolley

Down the grocery aisle

As they drag their cart

For the bodies that pile


Go feed the ducks

With yesterdays bread

As they look for their children

Amongst the dead

A Deadly Path

from: The Salt Lake Tribune

One Year Ago, a headstrong but vulnerable boy died at 14 during wilderness therapy in Utah's Unforgiving desert; How could a lonely, headstrong -- but ultimately terribly vulnerable -- boy end up at dead at 14 in Utah's unforgiving desert?

By Brooke Adams
The Salt Lake Tribune
Salt Lake Tribune

Just a Ramble

Suppositions and Assumptions in Adoption Justification

Since Round-Table Discussion About "The WOUND" and The Womb is going into all sorts of tangents, ranging from male-female antics in ATM handling to supposition and assumptions about what adoption is or should be. The latter I would like to discuss further in this thread, leaving our round-table discussion centered around the primal wound. The categorical gender generalizations assumed in ATM handling I see no need in further discussing, but I digress.

Bob wrote:

Struggle for Identity: Issues Underlying the Enactment of the 1926 Adoption of Children Act

Struggle for Identity: Issues Underlying the Enactment of the 1926 Adoption of Children Act

Jenny Keating

Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep. A page from my life

It was in my first year juniors when I heard the word adoption. Adoption, a word that has followed me like a bad smell ever since!

Permission to Forgive

This is for you
the mother who lied,
who cradled a glass
Instead of your child.

You ask me to forgive
for the life, you let pass by,
a life of mere existence
for a child who didn’t cry.

Did you ignore?
Or perhaps not care
if she woke in the dark
to find you not there.

A lonely child
with a silent voice,
to care for you
her only choice.

No words of love
No warm embrace,
an empty heart
and a tear stained face.

A Child of Suburban Wealth

Martin Tankleff's house was a place of luxury - and tension

By Shirley E. Perlman and Joseph Demma

Staff Writer

December 13, 1988

He was given up at birth by a woman going through a divorce who already had one son and decided she couldn't keep a second.

Three days later, he was adopted by a Long Island couple who couldn't have children, who saw him as "a gift from God" and raised him accordingly.

To make me whole

To make me whole
I need to know
From where I came
What made me so?

Something is missing
It’s not in my mind
A life times search
My core to find

I knew I was different
Not like the rest
As a growing child

Hello folks, a bit about me and adoption

Ah well I've been on alt.adoption for nearly 10 years in various guises, been looking in there for 15, so I probably qualify on 'sick sense of humor' criteria to be here.

I've a little experience of children's homes way way back the age of 2 and that was a long long time ago. Getting access to records from organizations that were active in for want of better word, childcare, and adoption is what I have a bit of experience of as some of you've probably seen.

Hillsborough 1989

New guidelines soon for child adoption

from: The Hindu

NEW DELHI: The Centre will soon finalise fresh guidelines for child adoption so as to make the process more transparent and ensure that there are adequate safety checks and a tracking system.

do you ever think of me

Do you ever think of me?
Do you really care?
With every waking memory
I see your evil stare

You saw me as an object
Your needs you satisfied
Did you never look at me
And see a frightened child

When you went your merry way
Did it ever cross your mind
No longer in my presence
But scars were left behind

I am no more that frightened child
The one you said had lied and lied
Through life's journey I have grown
With loving children of my own


Another door
Another bed
Papers to shuffle
Go rest your head

Another day
Another place
Another child
A different face

Long-term short term
Hard to place
Forget the name
Another case

Targets budgets
Paid to cope
Another home
Give words of hope
Childhood lives
Lost in wait
Reasons for change
In the welfare state

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