The other day I was reviewing some articles about gendercide in China, the practice of forced abortion, and child trafficking, and I was thinking how these types of events help create complex adoption issues many foreign born adoptees have to face, especially if one was adopted from a chauvinistic society like India or China. It seems there is a sad irony that exists when foreign social activists fighting for human rights come to America seeking support and assistance from American politicians.
Lately, I have been exchanging emails with an Amother and an adult adoptee, and as strange as it may sound, while each has very different stories related to very different phases in life, both seem to be sharing the same problem: they don't know what to do when the walls go up, and the barriers surround.
I find myself in the precarious position of knowing some of the whys, the hows and the what-not-to-do's when it comes to learning how to bridge the gap from scared little bear, to caring and capable warm human being.
Last year, I wrote Adapting to Mother's Day, After Adoption, a piece that introduces readers to the heartbreak some must endure when one person's loss becomes some other person's gain, thanks to illegal unethical adoption practices - found throughout Adoptionland. I reached the conclusion that children kidnapped and forced into an adoption plan should not be expected to celebrate Mother's Day. Given all that can transpire between and through the hands of corrupt doctors, lawyers, judges, and a
It is a curious little piece, claiming to give an answer to the question why the number of inter-country adoptions over the last 8 years have dropped significantly. Unfortunately the article doesn't investigate the matter, but tries to prove a preconceived idea, that the Hague Convention, UNICEF and the policies of the Department of State are to be blamed for this decline.
The bias of the article is overwhelming, so we'd like to dissect it for our readers and put this piece into perspective. The author starts with the following:
I think the pattern to keeping and maintaining an unsatisfying relationship has more to do with guilt and the common pattern that exists in adoption itself, but I'd like feedback from others outside my immediate circle, as I know when it comes to myself, I can turn every bump in life into an adoption issue.
I've decided to go public with some personal information about myself because the topic I've been discussing in private has touched many aspects of my life, including PPL.
I'm going through some difficult times in a few personal relationships. This is not new for me; maintaining a close (loving?) relationship has always been difficult for me. But long breaks, caused by normal every day events, like work or school, have made me keenly awareness of an odd inability in me, a characteristic I'd like to change.
Just when you thought the entitled AP, Jessica O'Dwyer, who wrote a book about her ICA experience in Guatemala was enough (http://poundpuplegacy.org/node/48717), there is yet ANOTHER AP, this one with his own website that caters to APs in process from Guatemala, known as Guatadopt's Kevin Kruetner. The heydays of adopting from Guatemala are long gone, but nevertheless he just wrote a review or what he refers to as "a personal reflection" on the book "Finding Fernanda".
My aparents are Christian Fundamentalists. Crazy Fundies. My adad is a Independent Fundamentalist Pastor. (IFB ) They "took me in" when I was 12 and spouted off how it made them great Christians. In reality, behind closed doors I was their paycheck, slave, and favorite whipping post. My "room" was a bed pushed in the corner of their basement. No privacy screen. They had 6 biological children.
This is the rhetorical question I read on page 26 of Erin Siegal's book, Finding Fernanda. This question was asked by a real (non-fictional) mother. I found myself unable to read much further, as the answer to this question made me wonder how many times religion was used to excuse corrupt behavior.
On September 28, 1854. the New York Times ran an article with the title: Murder of an Adopted Child in New-Orleans, describing the abuse and subsequent death of Christian Rohnor, a two-year-old boy, adopted by a couple from New Orleans. Christian Rohnor was locked up in the attic, starved to the point of being completely emaciated, and eventually beaten to death by his adoptive father.
The story of Christian Rohnor is almost entirely forgotten and we may like to think those barbaric times are long gone. We may be compelled to think that in the 156 years that have passed since the death of Christian Rohnor, adoption standards have been raised to the point that such horrific abuse of an adopted child no longer takes place.
Christian Rohnor may have been the first documented case of lethal abuse in an adoptive family, his death was certainly not the last. To this day adoptees are abused and killed by members found in their new "forever family". Every year there are several cases of adopted children being tortured to death, shaken to death or disciplined to death. 156 years after the cruelties performed on Christian Rohnor, there are still adopters who choose not to love, care for and protect their young additions, but instead, choose to lock up the children in their care, starve them, sexually abuse them and beat them, sometimes to death.
In memory of Christian Rohnor, we honor the children who met their death due to abuse in adoptive families since Adoption Awareness Month 2010.