Ah well I've been on alt.adoption for nearly 10 years in various guises, been looking in there for 15, so I probably qualify on 'sick sense of humor' criteria to be here.
I've a little experience of children's homes way way back the age of 2 and that was a long long time ago. Getting access to records from organizations that were active in for want of better word, childcare, and adoption is what I have a bit of experience of as some of you've probably seen.
My kids wanted to know more about my childhood... so I told them about the time I was in the bicentennial parade, dressed as Betsy Ross. My grandmother made the costume for me. At least I wasn't alone... I had my brother with me; he was dressed as Ben Franklin. We looked like dorks. I wore a hat, and held a flag, and he wore fake glasses and carried a kite. We sat on this huge float made of fake flowers because we were kids, and our dad made us, because our grandmother made the outfits.
This week we started the First Annual Demons of Adoption Awards and among our nominees are some of the organizations that most flagrantly promote the separation of mother's and children. It is good we raise attention to those organizations and expose their methods and power. Yet the adoption industy is much larger than just the NCFA and Adoption.com.
The US intends to ratify the Hague Convention beginning 2008. To this end they have designated two organisations as accreditors: one of them is the *Council on Accreditation*, in which Thomas Atwood (President National Council for Adoption and former Board Member of Bethany Christian Services) and Beverly Grant (Director Bethany Christian Services) are members of the Board.
The acceditation process will be done on the basis of PEER reviews.
I seriously started looking into the wheelings and dealings of the adoption industry, when coming across the work of David Smolin, who wrote several papers on the issue of child trafficking in relation to international adoption. In these papers Smolin tells how in third world countries money is made by putting pressure on women with just born babies, by stealing babies and by corrupt orphanages.
All children have parents; some have abusive ones, others have loving ones, and all adoptees have at least one missing parent set aside to haunt in unremembered memory. If a child is told he's adopted, he will wonder what brought him to a new set of parents. If a child is not told he is adopted, I'm sure the child will have ways of knowing a lie is being told and a secret is being kept. Children watch their parents very carefully; we have to... that's how we learn. Nothing can be done to change who our parents are; adoption just adds more confusion to that absolute fact.
Search and Reunion is a huge business that gets tied to a major milestone in the life of the curious and brave lost family-member. Reunion in my mind implies a sense of closure and completion, yet how can it be so when it comes to Original Family Members?
Growing-up, I was Different. Different was not good. Different got poked-at and teased. My differences made easy targets for my brother to attack, as brothers often do to their little sisters. I'm told sibling rivalry is completely normal and healthy.
In this time of high taxes and intrusive government, it concerns us all, to look closely, at a program most people are not aware of. The State of New Jersey currently maintains a program that keeps a select group of mothers in hiding. Participation in this program is not a matter of choice or even desire on the part of the women whose secrecy it maintains. Many of these women have been abused by state and private agencies, made to feel unworthy, ashamed, and guilty. Their most cherished needs have been ignored trampled, and denied.