Many years ago, I had many discussions with a first-mother who lost her son, first through adoption, then later to suicide.
Our phone conversations were especially hard because I could hear the sob in her voice. Her voice sounded like that of a child... yet her words written on adoption forums read like she was a very well-informed profoundly strong woman. Like me, (at the time), she was a warrior in words, but a weepy child in private.
Every once in a while, I allow myself to dig deep into the bowels of my brain and retrieve the memories of my childhood that made my life a (secret) living hell. Over and over again, I try to remind myself I was adopted because there are people who wanted to give me a life full of chances and opportunities that I would not have had, had I stayed in-care, where ever that was my first year of life. As nice as that generic reason seems to most people, I know why my adoptive mother needed me. It was not to save me from an orphanage, (although that did make her look l
I keep reading in various articles and blogs how PAP's do not want to adopt children who have a history with sexual abuse, because of their "special needs". The irony for me is knowing so many times the child removed from a home/family is often sexually abused within the sanctum of so-called safety. So where does this leave so many sexually abused children? Those who need trustworthy dedicated adults in their life are the least likely to get it because of sex. Crazy, ain't it?