The story of a NJ foster-father, (now deceased), is making headlines in the US this weekend as memoirs of Margaux Fragaso ("Tiger,Tiger") are making the news this weekend. [After receiving her Ph.D. in 2009, Fragaso was able to sell the piece that became her dissertation, and already translation rights have been sold to publishers in Italy, France, The Netherlands, and China. ]
Ex-Realtor to appear in court on rape charges
Suspect was once community figure
By Trent Spiner / Monitor staff
June 16, 2010
Once a prominent Realtor and member of the Trinity Baptist Church in Concord, Ernest Willis is expected to face a judge today on charges that he raped and impregnated a 15-year-old girl he met through the church.
Imagine for a moment that you’re a fundamentalist pastor who has just learned that a 15 year old girl in your congregation has been raped and is pregnant by a 39 year old member of your church. Now try to imagine what kind of thought process might lead you to decide that the proper way to proceed is to bring that teenager before the entire church to apologize for her part in being so thoughtless as to get raped and end up pregnant. Then imagine forcing her to write a letter to the wife of the rapist apologizing for your part in his crime.
It seems from now on, those criticizing the adoption industry need to embrace the phrasology used by those adoption advocates who prefer to use Positive Adoption Language when they write/speak. Away with child trafficking or illegal adoptions... they look very bad and are not the sort of phrases AP's will want to use.
I keep reading in various articles and blogs how PAP's do not want to adopt children who have a history with sexual abuse, because of their "special needs". The irony for me is knowing so many times the child removed from a home/family is often sexually abused within the sanctum of so-called safety. So where does this leave so many sexually abused children? Those who need trustworthy dedicated adults in their life are the least likely to get it because of sex. Crazy, ain't it?
When I first entered the adoption web-circuit, almost 10 years ago, I was very naive and innocent in a very odd and peculiar way. Truthfully, computers and the internet were literally brand-new to me, (I had never owned or used a computer before 1998), so I actually believed it was sheer providence that within the first days of fooling around with internet options, I found adoption.con's website. The adult adoptee support section, (where personal adoption/relationship issues could be openly discussed), was exactly what I wanted since I had just recently decided it was time for me to to start my own Search and Recovery. When I first became an actively posting-member, I was stunned. Never before in my life did I ever experience so many warm and friendly welcomings...
After a while, I get tired of reading about the adoption-option being in the best interest of the child. In many cases, adoption of very young children is far more about feeding into the PAP want and need to "parent", than helping those who need a helping hand due to death, violence or accidental tragedy.