Uncharted Waters
Far too often, in Group Discussions, the topic of 'personal choice' becomes a matter of hot debate, especially when it comes to the dating realm and choosing a sexual partner. Considering the adoptee's official record of transferred hands in care, it's easy to see how trust in love and craving the loving attention from a new body can do just fine from a replacement-person. At least that's what Adoption Advocates keep selling the general public, right? So... how does this translate later in life, when hormones kick-in?
Does the adoptee "know" by natural design if he/she is gay or straight, or does the type of parental influence affect the future partnership for that child?
Would sexual abuse, at an early age affect the child's sense of safety and security, and if it did, would it also change one's future sexual attractiveness to a certain identity, as a result?
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Replacement body
That's the biggest issue I have had with being adopted. As long as I can remember I've felt awkward with my adoptive mother's touch. Partially because she wanted it too much, but also because it wasn't the right body. Something was wrong, felt wrong and shouldn't have been that way. As a result, for the longest time touch has bothered me and still I am far from comfortable with just everybodies touch. I am very particular that way. There is comfort in touch and I need touch, just as much as I can fear it. Sometimes I wished it would be easier.
I can identify with that
I can identify with that, but always have thought it is to do with the time I was in a children's home where perhaps the nursery nurses doing their training there in the 1950s would be encouraged not to form any kind relationship with children beyond feeding them and keeping them clean
Also everyone who did have a 'loving touch' disappeared too soon, not a good model for later relationships
Robin
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Faking
As far as the history told to me is accurate, I wasn't touched much by my natural mother, easily explaining a bias toward feeling awkward when being touched, but I have always felt a different sort of awkwardness with the touch of my adoptive parents and especially with my adoptive mother's. With other people I felt a shyness with touch or repulsion and the whole gamma in between.With my adoptive mother though it felt wrong. It didn't feel as the body of comfort I needed as a child, while it presented itself as such and wanted acknowledgement of it to. That's a hard thing to express as a dependent child, so that's when the faking started.
Seek or Deprive
What do you suppose makes a person seek or deprive him/herself a loving touch?