Strong Voices
I was driving in my Volvo today... (we used to have a Chevy Suburban. Hub-Man loved the huge size. I hated it. I'm 5'3". It felt like I was driving a school bus, and it cost a million dollars to fill the tank. Sure we have 50 kids, but smaller cars can still fit 6 people and not require a second mortgage to drive.) I love my Volvo. I call it My Vulva. Yes, I'm a sick pup.
As I was driving on the highway, getting annoyed at truckers who DO NOT cover their faltbeds with tarps (with rocks and debris flying off, risking me and my windshield, thus putting my life and limbs in danger as I trot to Toy-for-Us for a birthday present for a special birthday girl's party this weekend...), I was listening to my favorite CD's. I hate listening to the radio because it's more talk and commercials than music. If I want conversation, I'll listen to my kids and hub-man. In that case, given the choice, I prefer listening to music.
I usually listen to my kids CD's. That's how it works when you have kids: all things get replaced by your kid's needs. For women, that happens the moment you learn you are pregnant. Felling good gets replaced by feeling sick. Thinness gets replaced with fatness. Boobs get replaced with Moo-Moo mountains, that leak. It just goes on and on, until the man catches on 10 months later, the baby cries and daddy soon realizes, clean clothes get replaced by dirty diapers, and the smell of fresh food turns to sour milk and empty dishes.
Yes, it's the circle of life called Family Bliss.
Where was I? Yes, driving in the car, listening to my children's music.
I hafta tell ya, my kids have GREAT taste in music. They should. Hub-man and I are great passive musicians. We always loved to listen to music. the louder the better, and back in our early days of dating, (back in the 90's) the colder the beer, the happier we got. Yes, that's when we liked each other very very much! We liked the same music, for different reasons, but that was ok... I was 21, he was in his mid-thirties. I was out of the house, he owned his own. What wasn't to like? We sat outside, drank beer, listened to Bruce, The Fixx, INXS, The Beatles, Don Hendley, Meatloaf... all sorts of good stuff. I'd dance, and he'd laugh. I'd tell him about my Grateful Dead days, and love for Metallica and the one-hit wonder song from the Sugar Hill Gang. He'd laugh some more, because looking at me, it's clear I was born in the wrong generation, wrong era, wrong EVERYTHING.
What always moved me about music and musicians was the soul of the singer's voice. It has to move me. I can't explain it really, but some artists have it, others don't. I can appreciate an artist's contribution to the music world, like Elvis... he inspired many other artists, and many loved him dearly. I personally never felt moved by his voice. Can't explain it. I can respect the body of work, but I can't like his version of his own songs!
Maybe I just don't like how he treated his wife... who knows. I'm quirky that way.
There are some female voices I find most powerful, and very enjoyable to listen to, as a result. Strangely enough, they all have male sounds to their names. I find this most interesting, because I have a strange loyalty to men, and fear of women. I expect both to betray me, of course, but at least a man's betrayal is natural... (or at the very least, socially accepted.) Who makes my list of easy-listening? Pat Benatar, of course. Stevie Nicks. Janis Joplin. Carly Simon. My new favorite is the chick from Evanescence. I've been listening to The Open Door CD for almost a year now.... WOW. What makes me think is how a voice like hers isn't more popular in America?
Why is that?
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Comments
evanescence
hay well they are from little rock, arkansas did you know that? where i live. cool huh?
i love those strong voices as well.
my therapist always had a very strong/manly sounding voice, very generic angdrogenous sounding low voice and i loved it. i loved to hear her laugh. i loved to see her smile. i miss her very much. she was not a femenine looking woman, but...something about her made me love to look at her, in her eyes as she held me.
Body-Types
This reminds me of the types of bodies we are naturally drawn to, when it comes to wanting comfort and companionship.
I know for myself, I have huge betrayal issues that are well-founded. As such, I need to control who is safe, based on my own gut-instinct. I go by a person's eyes, and a few other factors I keep to myself. <sheepish grin>
I know lots of men/women who were betrayed by women who were Shrews (and happen to be small-chested, as well); these people tend to need women who are full-breasted later-on in life. I suppose they see nurturing and comfort in the woman's breast, and that feels like "home".
On the other-hand, men who were betrayed by men (sexually) at a YOUNG age tend to need men to keep that role in their lives, somehow, because it was sexually satisfying, and therefore somehow seen as a loving and "nurturing" experience.
I see this as a Same but Different Association. We want something different from what we had, because we want it to be nurturing the next time we have it.
So, I suppose a person's voice has a similar affect, as well.
For the adoptee, it can be even more strange, since some of us were adopted at different ages and stages of development. Memory can be a funny thing. Who's to say what we can or cannot truly remember?
How many of our Adoptive parents seemed to have wished we'd forget we once belonged elsewhere?
How could we?
catching-up
Amy Lee, lead singer of Evanescence, isn't afraid to build her songs and sounds around stuff that is loved and lost. Her appearance is sorta Victorian-Gothic, and although their music is a bit different from most bubble-gum sounds found these days, it's deeply moving when you take the time to listen to the sounds and lyrics of her songs.
Perhaps in America we lack (or lost) the importance of soulful music? Clearly it can come in different shapes and forms, and Amy proves that with her alternative sound.
What draws me to her songs is said in this small article, explaining one of her songs on her Open Door CD -- http://www.vh1.com/news/articles/1540914/story.jhtml
"Like You"
Tense, mournful ... and the closest The Open Door gets to Fallen's world-beating ballads.
"Like You" is maybe the most intimate song on the record. It was about losing my little sister when I was a child. On the last record, I wrote "Hello" about her. "Like You" is her place on this record.
Musical Influences
I read an article today about Music as Medicine, and it made me think about the various music choices I have gathered in PPL's video section. So many of the songs listed have nothing to do with "adoption" as much as they do about abandonment and betrayal. I feel both topics are huge issues for many adults who were adopted or put in foster-care or sent to a Children's Homes. Leaving one family, for another can't ever be easy, even if it's needed or wanted. Leaving, with the thought of never returning is very similar to dying, and that requires it's own soulful resolution.
I have often found myself very surprised by a person's favorite songs. I love to discover the dark-side of a person, and almost always it can be seen through the music they listen to. Some of my best memories revolve around a few drinks, a little conversation, and a lot of thought-provoking music shared between two people getting to know eachother. That's good stuff!
Musical reachout
Having grown up in a house that was progressively worse to live in, I spent most of my evenings in my room, especially since the age of 13, 14. At the time listening to music was what kept me mostly alive. All my money went to buying albums and listening to them over and over, until I knew every single note and every sound out there. I felt music gave me a sense of belonging, knowing there were other people loving the same music made me feel less alone.