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The Cry-Baby List of Complaints

Kerry's picture
Sun, 2007-09-23 09:53 - Kerry

I think parental betrayal is serious stuff... if you can't trust your own parents, who CAN you trust?  For the adoptee, messing with the maternal-order of things is just asking for trouble.

No where have we been allowed to list our complaints in one place.  We're scattered like dandelions.... annoying weeds that can be picked out and discarded.

Let's do more than that.  Let's group together as an international family of adoptees, let's germinate, and blow people away with our collected thoughts and share what bothers us about parental betrayal and the aftermath of adoption.

What's the worst that can happen, we can't stand or trust one another, and this idea will be replaced with a better one?

Comments

Sun, 2007-09-23 20:18 — Niels

My complaints

When I was adopted, I was the blessing of a marriage falling apart. My adoptive parents didn't have children of their own, not because of infertility, but because of some prenuptial agreement not to have children. My adoptive mother regretting this, was starving for a baby and when I came in their life I was the banquet for her to feast on.

Everything with my adoptive mother was bigger than I was. Her need for a baby bigger than my need for a home. Her nerves falling apart from the strain the adoption brought, bigger than my not feelings of abadonment. Her need to be considered a mommy bigger than my aversion against that.

My adoptive father was in all of this already happy I took over the burden. He couldn't satisfy my mother and accepted he couldn't do so. Being glad I, unwantingly took that upon my shoulders, he stood by her side against me, even when he knew she was wrong.

I've never been asked how I felt, never been allowed to express my needs. I was supposed to be happy being adopted and that was the end of the story. I would have been much worse off being in an institution, was their standard argument.

I sometimes wonder if I would. I feel an inner strength that tells me I would have made it any way. I don't know if that's true, but at least it makes me feel good about myself.

 

Sat, 2007-09-29 01:28 — neophyte

I'm tired of "I wish"

I'm sick of people telling me they wish they were adopted.

Wishing to have have new parents is a choice.

Having no choice is not a choice.

Having a penis shoved in your face, uninvited, is not a choice, it's revolting.

Having a person force you call him/her mommy or daddy by force is revolting.

I wish I was never adopted.

End of story.