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Playing Dane Cook - Jesus Jokes

Fri, 2007-09-21 18:40 - neophyte

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Curious to see what happens in the Catholic Church?

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Sat, 2007-09-22 12:55 — Kerry

Sweaty palms

I remember going to church when I was little, and being SOOOO nervous shaking hands with people at that Peace-Time.... my hands would be so wet and sweaty... <ewe!>

The more I would wipe my hands on my pants, the worse I made my hands sweat.

I hated the idea of having wet, soggy fish hands, so I made sure I gave a firm hand shake, instead... but still, the anxiety and pressure to perform a handshake to strangers, and make my parents pleased, at church, was so horrible for me!  The only thing that made it better was going up for the snack-time.  Some churches were really great and offered sips of wine.  I really liked those places! 

I used to think those priests had it made... they had a stash of host and wine readily available whenever they wanted it, and a church, with a stage, microphones and big chairs like thrones.  Plus they got gowns and some got big hats.  How lucky was that?

I'm laughing now at how crazy it all was.

I don't go to church anymore.  I'm allergic to the incense, and I don't agree with the Catholic Church teachings.  I was hurt badly by them.  The good thing is, I have super soft hands. (I'm thinking all those years having sweaty palms helped, after all!)

Sun, 2007-09-23 12:10 — Kerry

Jesus-Sightings, Elvis-style

When a Catholic Boy from Boston does it, it's funny.  When a girl with the name "Griffin" from Chicago does it, she's D-listed.  I guess in show-biz, it really is more cut-throat than dog-eat dog, eh?

Go figure!

She Said What?

A 'D-List' star uttered a profanity about Jesus. Controversy ensues.

Oct. 1, 2007 issue - Some stories are best told straight. On Sept. 8, Kathy Griffin, a bawdy, foulmouthed comedian, accepted an Emmy Award for her reality show, "My Life on the D-List," and in her acceptance speech she explained that while other actors might thank Jesus for such an honor, she wouldn't consider it. "Suck it, Jesus," she exuberantly added, waving her statuette in the air. "This award is my God, now.

"Outrage from Christian groups predictably followed, led (also predictably) by William Donohue of the Catholic League, who went on CNN to complain that "Hollywood laughs when she says 'Suck it, Jesus,' but if she'd said 'Suck it, Jews,' or 'Suck it, Muhammad' ... they wouldn't be laughing, would they?" Then, newspapers reported that E! Television would scrub the speech before airing it the following weekend, which triggered an equal and opposite outcry from liberal groups accusing E! of censorship. Around that same time, a group of college students in Hawaii, sitting around voraciously reading the news, "got a giggle," as 20-year-old Carlos Uretta puts it, out of the controversy. So they did what any atheist-minded group of 21st-century college students would do: they registered suckitjesus.com as a domain name and, a few days later, put up a petition in support of Kathy Griffin, which now has more than 2,500 signatures. "We got an e-mail from someone in Italy, and we thought—really? People are concerned about this in Italy?"

You might think that when the awards show aired the next weekend, edited but not completely airbrushed, the controversy would die. But you would be wrong. Last week a small Christian theater company based in Pigeon Forge, Tenn., took out two full-page ads in USA Today at $90,000 a pop, decrying Griffin's remarks and pleading for a new civility. Griffin, meanwhile, went on Larry King, who played the unedited clip and ignited the entire thing all over again. And who stands to benefit from this tempest? Well, Griffin, who's playing sold-out shows all over the country this fall. And Tennessee's Miracle Theater, just down the road from Dolly Parton's theme park and in its second year of staging a Broadway-type play about the life of Christ. "The phones have definitely picked up, and that's great," says manager Russ Hollingsworth. Now that they've scored the domain name, Uretta and his friends think it might be fun to expand their site, but "not to be too profound or anything," he says. No worries, Carlos. You're in good company.

© 2007 Newsweek, Inc.