Pound Pup Legacy

I've been thinking about how and why I feel like I'm a deranged lunatic, and I've come to the conclusion that I get my f-ed up fears and neurotic behaviors from my psycho mom.  Yes, she made me the fruit-cake nut-job that I am.  Although, to be fair, the men in her life sure as hell didn't help me, either!

Intercountry Adoption on the Internet

Author: Shihning Chou, Kevin Browne & Melanie Kirkaldy
Date: Tuesday, April 01, 2008
File Size: 88 KB

A MAN who continued to beat, terrorise and sexually molest two little sisters – even though social workers and a teacher expressed their concerns – was jailed for ten years yesterday.

Judge Lord Kinclaven told Norman Carden: "The word abuse is barely adequate to describe the despicable conduct set out in these charges."

It's taken me almost 40 years to realize what my life-crisis has always been:  I have lost huge pieces of myself to all the adults who have once claimed me.  This is hard-core adoption-stuff, mixed with abuses that should no longer matter (but they DO).  With claim, comes blame...

Sacha is now off the ventilator, she still has a bit of a way to go but is improving daily. Here is Sacha finally getting to meet her 2week old son Logan yesterday.

I have probably spent over an hour just trying to start this blog.  I have so many emotions going around my head right now and came to the conclusion that they are my emotions and it is my head so I'l spare you all my ramblings. Sacha is showing signs of improvement according to test results. Improvement can only be a good thing. Logan is so perfect but it doesnt feel quite right celebrating him. Every pleasure he gives feels like a betrayal if that makes sense. Even taking him out in the pram feels like Im stealing precious first memories from my Sacha.

I try not to discuss religion with people, because I know it's a personal topic based on subjective knowledge of one's own denomination.  Religion far too often starts many heated debates, which in my mind ruins perfectly peaceful discussions.  It's not my wish or intention to start arguments.  My purpose is simple:  discuss the problems organized religion causes in terms of Bible interpretation, and how that influences family dynamics.  For instance, where in the Bible does God say the taking of another woman's baby (the fruit of a woman's womb) is a

Meaning well, wanting to help, but causing more harm than good. 

I remember my a.dad and I used to have these "deep conversations" about People, and how so many of them would talk about how much they cared about others, and wished to do more to help them, only to create bigger problems caused by mistakes and neglect.

I'm a huge fan of word-play.  I'm very nerdy like that.  It comes from reading tons of books.  I love word-associations, as they always get fun and Freudian with me.  Given all I have worked with in my life, I have lots of raw material to purge in playful pun and pathos.

This past two-weeks I've been more of a shut-in than usual, due to illness.  First I was hit, then the twins got hit.  Last night I broke-free from the house for a few minutes to get pizza.  I took my oldest and her friend, because they could run in to get the food, sparing me the humiliation of being seen as the house hag looking bad, due to neglect.