I answered that I normally brace and stiffen when someone touches me. However, when I feel safe, and when I feel like I want to invite someone close to me, that's when I like to hug and kiss people. The key for me is the sense of invasion. I hate feeling as if my body-space is being invaded. <shudder>
I make it a point to let my children know when I'm feeling grumpy, or "closed-in" so they know, my not wanting to touch them has nothing to do with them, as much as it is my need to have my own space for a little while. Just that little bit of control over my own body-space makes enough of a difference for me to feel better so I can snuggle with them a little later.
i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so i try to keep my feelings to myself, but the truth is, i hate when people touch me unless it's me making the advance.
Holding Therapy is the modern-day rebirthing answer many are using to "cure" displaced adopted/autistic children these days. Perhaps the premise began well-intentioned, as I'm sure it did. Either as a comfort tactic, or birthing-process, the concept - like adoption itself - reads well. It's the practice used on real people, in real-life situations, where real abuse of power and real heart-wrenching stories takes place where once again, the tragedies of death take place. Death by suffocation or strangulation is taking place in the name of "attachment therapy", all because inappropriate touch of an untrusted adult hurts yet another child and parents.
There is no argument that care and concern must be given to children. The question is how is it going to be implemented, if private agencies are allowed to profit from child placement and irreverent practices that focuses more on sales and quotas and less on quality and care?
Who is the first to touch and hold a child? Is that first touch felt at birth? If so, shouldn't that first touch be felt by that the child's parents? And if not, shouldn't all efforts be made to ensure each child will know he/she is loved and protected by a family that will never hurt, harm or betray his sense of wellbeing, simply by teaching good parenting skills to all young adults capable of reproduction, in the first place?
The way I see it, an ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
I brace and stiffen when someone touches me and since recently, sometime, I avoid contact and I don't even try to hide it.
When touching comes from my best friends, it's fine but sometime, I hate being touched even from my hubby.
My hubby likes to be tickled. On the contrary, my reaction can be very bad if a skin touch is too much like a tickling to me.
My skin has become SO desensitized, I don't respond to someone tickling me.
Actually, when my kids try to tickel me, I don't laugh. If an adult tries to tickle me, I feel rage, and I try to block all sense of sensation out of me.
Comments
Safe, Invited Touch
I answered that I normally brace and stiffen when someone touches me. However, when I feel safe, and when I feel like I want to invite someone close to me, that's when I like to hug and kiss people. The key for me is the sense of invasion. I hate feeling as if my body-space is being invaded. <shudder>
I make it a point to let my children know when I'm feeling grumpy, or "closed-in" so they know, my not wanting to touch them has nothing to do with them, as much as it is my need to have my own space for a little while. Just that little bit of control over my own body-space makes enough of a difference for me to feel better so I can snuggle with them a little later.
Touch
I have the same. When I read the poll, I realized I do brace and stiffen, but not always and when I don't I love touch.
hurt feelings
i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so i try to keep my feelings to myself, but the truth is, i hate when people touch me unless it's me making the advance.
Touch, Trust, and the Tragedy that Bonds the Two Together
Talking about "touch"
This past week I've been having lots of private discussions about "touch", and how easily it can be seen and felt as a mind-numbing experience.
For some, their skin surface can be super hyper-sensitive, making a single touch an arousing (almost sexual) experience.
For others, the skin seems to be immune to feeling, making a person's surface dead, detatched, and devoid of any pleasurable feeling .
Most interesting to me, however, is how so many melt to the hand that strokes his/her own mane.
I know for myself, I don't like my skin to be touched (for various reasons), but I weaken like a baby when someone plays with my hair.
Why does the hair-stroke have to be so warm and comforting, yet skin-touch can become so freezing?
I hate being touched.
I brace and stiffen when someone touches me and since recently, sometime, I avoid contact and I don't even try to hide it.
When touching comes from my best friends, it's fine but sometime, I hate being touched even from my hubby.
My hubby likes to be tickled. On the contrary, my reaction can be very bad if a skin touch is too much like a tickling to me.
[I had to laugh!!!]
My skin has become SO desensitized, I don't respond to someone tickling me.
Actually, when my kids try to tickel me, I don't laugh. If an adult tries to tickle me, I feel rage, and I try to block all sense of sensation out of me.
Crazy, isn't it?