exposing the dark side of adoption
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http://forums.adoption.com/other-faith-based-adoptions/249670-islam.html

Below is a sample of Equal Sides of the Triad, spoken as only a member of a so-called "Adult Adoptee support" forum can.  Umbilical Child and I had become e-mates.  He lives Down-Under and has been MIA since late October.  He's become a new-dad, since we last exchanged barbs...so perhaps his wife and children need him more than anyone outside his home.  Good... he's doing what's best for him and his family.

Since I was banned from this particular site, (twice-over), the site has progressively and aggressively proven its moral-low-ground.  There's a  triangulation of The Written Word that shrinking violets tend to prefer when telling US CHILDREN what's in the best interest for the child who's good name has been Questioned by the State and Church.  I encourage all to read the entire thread.  Says a lot about each adopted child-within.

J-man... KUDOS to you... I miss you deeply.  Please resurface asap.  Simple honest truth was never more healthy or fun than it was with your spit-balls hanging in my locks.  <Three cheers to one Bloody good show, my dear friend!> ~


Adopting a Child in Islam

Islamic legal rulings about foster parenting and adoption
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) once said that a person who cares for an orphaned child will be in Paradise with him, and motioned to show that they would be as close as two fingers of a single hand. An orphan himself, Muhammad paid special attention to the care of children. He himself adopted a former slave and raised him with the same care as if he were his own son.

However, the Qur'an gives specific rules about the legal relationship between a child and his/her adoptive family. The child's biological family is never hidden; their ties to the child are never severed. The Qur'an specifically reminds adoptive parents that they are not the child's biological parents:

"...Nor has He made your adopted sons your (biological) sons. Such is (only) your (manner of) speech by your mouths. But Allah tells (you) the Truth, and He shows the (right) Way. Call them by (the names of) their fathers; that is juster in the sight of Allah. But if you know not their father's (names, call them) your brothers in faith, or your trustees. But there is no blame on you if you make a mistake therein. (What counts is) the intention of your hearts. And Allah is Oft-Returning, Most Merciful."

(Qur'an 33:4-5)

The guardian/child relationship has specific rules under Islamic law, which render the relationship a bit different than what is common adoption practice today. The Islamic term for what is commonly called adoption is kafala, which comes from a word that means "to feed." In essence, it describes more of a foster-parent relationship. Some of the rules in Islam surrounding this relationship:

An adopted child retains his or her own biological family name (surname) and does not change his or her name to match that of the adoptive family.

An adopted child inherits from his or her biological parents, not automatically from the adoptive parents.
When the child is grown, members of the adoptive family are not considered blood relatives, and are therefore not muhrim to him or her. "Muhrim" refers to a specific legal relationship that regulates marriage and other aspects of life. Essentially, members of the adoptive family would be permissible as possible marriage partners, and rules of modesty exist between the grown child and adoptive family members of the opposite sex.

If the child is provided with property/wealth from the biological family, adoptive parents are commanded to take care and not intermingle that property/wealth with their own. They serve merely as trustees.

These Islamic rules emphasize to the adoptive family that they are not taking the place of the biological family -- they are trustees and caretakers of someone else's child. Their role is very clearly defined, but nevertheless very valued and important.

It is also important to note that in Islam, the extended family network is vast and very strong. It is rare for a child to be completely orphaned, without a single family member to care for him or her. Islam places a great emphasis on the ties of kinship -- a completely abandoned child is practically unheard of. Islamic law would place an emphasis on locating a relative to care for the child, before allowing someone outside of the family, much less the community or country, to adopt and remove the child from his or her familial, cultural, and religious roots. This is especially important during times of war, famine, or economic crisis -- when families may be temporarily uprooted or divided.

Very balanced and civilized.....

2007 Feb 5